Dating violence story

Dating violence among teenagers has the potential to lead to death, she went on, and girls are at the highest risk. ... [Read the story] “I didn’t want to be the person making noise.” ... A Story About Teen Dating Violence 02/10/2016 02:04 pm ET Updated Feb 08, 2017 One winter day during my junior year, I found out that he had cheated on me again. Dating violence is a pattern of intentional physical and psychological abuse, threats, intimidation, isolation used by one person to exert power and control over another person. La violencia de pareja es un patrón de abuso físico y psicológico intencional, amenazas, intimidación, aislamiento utilizado por una persona para ejercer poder y ... Survivors of dating violence are often reluctant to tell someone what’s going on for fear of not being believed. Don’t dismiss abuse as teen drama or angst. Make a Donation. It is easy to ignore this message. Please don't. We and the millions of people who use this non-profit website to prevent and escape domestic violence rely on your ... One Teen’s Story of Intimate Partner Violence. By Kevin Carr July 13, 2020 No Comments. ... When they started dating in person a month later, Sheree still didn’t know too much about Austin beyond his favorite color and foods. She just knew how his words made her feel. But that would start changing right away, when he wanted to have a ... Teen dating violence (TDV) is a type of intimate partner violence. It occurs between two people in a close relationship. TDV includes four types of behavior: Physical violence is when a person hurts or tries to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking, or using another type of physical force. Dating violence is an increasingly common problem. Teenagers subjected to dating violence often slip through the cracks of the legal system because they are: too old to be helped by child protection social workers; or; too young to stay at battered women's shelters. Teen Dating Violence: Kim’s Story. By: JM Oran . A tender smile crosses Kimberly Segovia’s face when she checks her smartphone and notices a text message from her fiancé. She lights up when she speaks about him, praising him for being patient and kind, and stepping in to be a father to her two children from previous relationships. But 32 ... The study might be the first to offer a national estimate for deaths of teenagers due to dating violence, says Anita Raj, who directs the Center for Gender Equity and Health at University of ... Nov. 10, 2006 — -- '20/20' reported a disturbing story on teen-dating violence, April 5, 2005. The story was so powerful we wanted to air it again with updates. Here you'll see the positive ...

Am I the Asshole?

2013.06.08 22:14 flignir Am I the Asshole?

A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /AITAFiltered!
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2012.10.08 06:57 dlmkm Relationship Success Stories

Do you feel good about a relationship that you have or had? Do you feel good about a relationship that you got out of? Share your story of relationship success here!
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2011.01.19 06:02 Sommiel Get tips and give them!

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2020.09.21 00:20 WagonWheel1268 DAE feel like their trauma isn't valid after hearing nightmare stories even though they know they've been through shit?

Gonna go on a total tirade here and get some things off my chest. I'm covering a lot here so if your cptsd gets tripped easily, please continue with caution.
I'm bouta drop a lot on you, theres a TL;DR down towards the bottom if you want to get to the point
15, M, went through a slew of things
My parents divorce when I was 6, I had to move 3 separate times after they did and I lost 3 separate groups of friends from my old place and the other 2 places I moved to before moving to my current place, where I've lived since 2014.
My dad remarried a water buffalo of a woman who was borderline abusive to me and my dad and my stepmom both were explicitly abusive to my little brother, even physically.
Also, I never heard from my mom for most of that time. I only saw her in person once in 2014 when she showed up on our doorstep one day. I never had a consistent support figure, and my dad never got me a counselor until after a court date back in december 2019, and the timing of the counselor, who I first met with in January, one month later, as well as other things my mom has showed me, lead me to believe that he was just trying to look better in court.
I first got to visit my mom in July of 2019 and I've gotten closer with her since then, but the gap between us is palpable and I'm not sure I'll ever really be comfortable with normal people things like hugging because a mother figure was absent for so long.
I've had enough mental breakdowns that I have a hard time seeing how people view them as almost as bad as a stroke.
Everything I've been through has affected me in ways that I can't effectively comprehend, and I still haven't seen a therapist to check for disorders like cptsd, which is one of the essential things that should be done after a divorce, along side family and marital counseling, which also never happened.
I think a lot about the past, and whenever I see certain dates, I think "Oh that's when XYZ happened" and I'll get all feely.
TL;DR I've been through stuff
I can't remember very much about practically anything, my memory is pretty poor.
I feel like I'm in this weird space where I've had enough happen to me that I can't relate with people a whole lot but I haven't been through physical abuse, gang violence, or sexual assault, so my experiences aren't valid.
Writing it all down on paper makes it seem like a lot, but I don't have flashbacks or nightmares or get anxiety from things related to my past trauma, and hearing other people's stories makes me feel like I haven't been through real trauma, I've just been really sad before.
Anybody else get this feeling?
submitted by WagonWheel1268 to CPTSD [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 22:24 Daryl-Morey In a time where people leave their personal identity and life history increasingly accessible across the Internet, how do you avoid (or manage) looking up a person's past before you actually get to know them in person?

I'm talking about old social media profile posts, likes/dislikes, their name in the news, LinkedIn profile, comment history, etc.
In a way it feels like you're cheating by knowing things about them before they tell you, but is it really though? Online, people are less inclined to have their guard up and you get a peek of what they are really thinking sometimes. How would a potential SO react later on if they found out you looked them up before getting serious? On the other hand it also feels like you're doing due diligence and looking for any warning signs. Sometimes my own well-tuned internet sleuthing skills are my own worst enemy because I end up forming a profile in my head that ends up turning me off from taking things further.
One example was seeing a girl's old tweets about acknowledging she needs psychological help for a serious mental illness but openly refuses to seek any treatment. I found this out and read up about warning signs before she later told me herself and shortly thereafter she started exhibiting those signs so I cut things off.
Another was a girl casually mentioned getting arrested but would not go into any more detail. I knew which city she lived in and her spotify username had her birthday in it so I searched the county clerk records by first name and birth date and it showed she was arrested for domestic violence.
I don't know how common this is among fellow men, but I have heard stories about female group chats where a girl's friends look out for her by vetting the guys she is into.
There's a How I Met Your Mother episode about this trend; Ted and his date agree to avoid looking each other up before meeting with the hope of forming a genuine connection but in the end he looks up his date and is intimidated the rest of the encounter after seeing how successful she is.
submitted by Daryl-Morey to AskMen [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 18:24 TrierSS [M]e (24) and g[f] (26) live in a dangerous dictatorship. She wants to flee the country, while I'm deeply ashamed to move out.

TL;DR: I was illegally detained, beaten, and tortured, now my gf wants us to move out of the country, while I feel like a coward/traitobastard man.
Me and my girlfriend (both non-US, just to be clear) have been dating for almost two years now. I love her, and in almost two years I can scarcely recall more than five "fights" between us. We had our relationship planned out, I went into some debt to get us a place of our own, and things were looking pretty good.
And then the meteor hit.
If you want to put it mildly, my homeland is currently in disarray. People are protesting our current violent regime, while the dictatorship went full "enraged hormonal teenager"-mode and now the police have been beating us like hotcakes for some tine now.
I got caught up in this, too. One day I was taking a nice stroll through my hometown thinking that it's weird how no public transport was going around. No way to call an Uber, and then the Internet went out. Weird, huh?
That was the day our police started literally grabbing random people off the streets to prevent protests.
Two of the "special ops" officers, masks on, jumped me from behind, beating me with batons, and then stomping on me once I was on the ground. After yelling bloody murder that I'm submitting, they stopped, picked me off the ground, and led me into their black tinted van.
I spent fifteen hours on my knees, hands behind my back, forehead pressed into the police station's basement's floor. You move, ask a question, complain — they beat you till you can barely move your legs. No water, no food, no toilet breaks.
After that night in hell, they let me and a couple of other folks out, and I'm currently waiting for my formal notice to appear in court, as I'm supposed to get about 2-3 weeks jail time + fines for "participating in illegal protests".
Since then, my brilliant amazing lovely gf has been, well, understandably upset.
As the news came out that people were not just beaten, but raped and even murdered in those basements, she started crying every single day, afraid of walking out of our home alone.
My gf is actually brilliant, so farily quickly she found a foreign company that wants to hire her and help her move. I'm super impressed by my lady, I love and want to marry her, and have the most comfy, cozy, violence-free life imaginable together.
However.
Right now I feel like such a traitor for moving. How could I? The police are beating us senseless, detaining thousands of peaceful protesters, and I know that being detained is some scary, traumatic shit.
I'm currently volunteering with human rights groups, helping document these crimes, and, folks, the stories I hear are some fucked up shit. I honestly can barely do my actual job because it seems like such a stupid god damn waste of time to try and make money for my bosses while me and my friends are getting beaten by those thugs every day.
So she's all excited to move, planning our lives in another country, and for the first time in weeks she's not crying all the time. Me, on the other hand, I'm almost in tears watching the protests go on, and get stomped on, again and again, while I'm not there to help hold that line.
Good people of reddit, how do I tell her that I'm just not ready? She says she can't stay here, it's too dangerous, and, well, it is! I just want her to be happy, but I feel that if we move, I'll be ashamed for years to come. So how do I navigate this?
submitted by TrierSS to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 17:08 StrangePlaces405 Florida Legislation Review: Hold on to your Butts

VOTE INFORMATION
Get out and vote as if your rights depend on it! (Cuz they do!)
Primary Preference
Republican Results
Trump - 93.8%, 122 delegates
Democrat Results
Joe Biden - 61.9%, 136 delegates
August Primaries
Results are in but the DoE does not have a tabulated roster of the entire state from what I can tell. Check your local news affiliate for details on your results.
General Election
Date: November 3
Registration Deadline: October 5
Early Voting Period: October 24-31
Military/Overseas Absentee Ballot Return Deadline: September 19
Mail-In Ballot Deadline(domestic voters): September 24 - October 1
PROPOSED STATE CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENTS TO POSSIBLY APPEAR ON THE GENERAL ELECTION 2020/2022 BALLOT
19-08: Double Elections Requirement for Amending State Constitution Initiative.
Summary - "Requires all proposed amendments or revisions to the state constitution to be approved by the voters in two elections, instead of one, in order to take effect. The proposal applies the current thresholds for passage to each of the two elections."
Signatures Required: 766,200

Signatures Gathered: 783,580

Approved.

SC Hearing: Approved 20FEB20
Made Ballot: 31JAN2020
Approved for Circulation: 19APR2019
Supporters:
Keep Our Constitution Clean Political Committee
Tl;Dr - 19-01 has-been declined by the FLSC 4JUN20 for a misleading summary that did not accurately reflect the initiative. The initiative is dead in the water on a narrow ruling so expect a revised proposal in the future.
19-05 appears to be dead. I'll keep an eye on it as it is still active but it hasn't received any new verified signatures in over a year.
19-08 has been approved. VOTE YES FOR 19-08!
Fun Stuff
Want to sign these petitions or any petitions? Go here
Print, sign, then mail the petition to
Alexander Mosca
Program Administrator
Alternate Emergency Coordinating Officer
Florida Department of State, Division of Elections
850-245-6292

2A Sanctuary Status

Counties
Baker, Bay, Bradford, Calhoun, Citrus, Clay, Collier, Columbia, DeSoto, Dixie, Escambia, Franklin, Gilchrist, Gulf, Hendry, Hernando, Highlands, Holmes, Jackson, Jefferson, Lafayette, Lake, Lee, Levy, Liberty, Madison, Marion, Nassau, Okaloosa, Okeechobee, Polk, Putnam, Santa Rosa, St. John's, Sumter, Suwannee, Taylor, Union, Wakulla, Walton, Washington,
Cities/Towns
Bronson, Marco Island City, Newberry, Panama City Beach,
Constitutional Traitors
Sarasota
No Action
Alachua, Brevard, Broward, Charlotte, Duval, Flagler, Gadsden, Glades, Hamilton, Hardee, Hillsborough, Indian River, Leon, Manatee, Martin, Miami-Dade, Monroe, Orange, Osceola, Palm Beach, Pasco, Pinellas, St. Lucie, Seminole, Volusia

Legislative Updates since last post

HOUSE
SENATE
2021 session is underway. No firearms bills have been filed as of yet.

Other 2A News:

Everytown for Gun Safety states Trump's inaction on COVID-19 has worsened gun violence across the state. Article
The tentative schedule for jury trial of the Parkland 18-20 weapons purchase ban is set for Jan. 11. Article
State Attorney Melissa Nelson penned a memo stating prosecutors must offer harsher sentences for felons found illegally carrying a weapon. Article
As if we haven't heard this already. Bloomberg vows to inject $100M into Joe Biden's Florida campaign. Remember when Biden chastised Bloomberg by saying 'you can't buy an election'? He's uncharacteristically mum here.Article
submitted by StrangePlaces405 to FLGuns [link] [comments]


2020.09.20 05:59 trebud69 [US] HIGH&LOW (2016). A prefecture held by 5 gangs in Japan called S.W.O.R.D. have to come together and set aside their differences to push back the Kuryu Group and stop their plan to take their land. An epic, 7 movie action series that has as much character, heart, and style as it does action.

It's available worldwide for the first time starting today.
I literally just got into this series a few weeks ago, before the announcement of it coming to Netflix so here's a quick guide by a recent devotee to this franchise. Perfect timing for you guys too because it took a lot to find everything with English subs as I was watching it.
Though there are 4 "seasons" that are not coming to netflix and you would have to find online, here's a little guide if you're interested in what the franchise is about if you're out of the loop. Note: only the 7 movies will be on Netflix worldwide.
HIGH&LOW is a Japanese action series developed by Exile Tribe, a group of J-Pop bands under one label, who star in this stylistic but wholesome world. Think City of Violence if it was all about the gangs they fought mixed with wholesomeness and humor with a sprinkle of John Wick stylistic cinematography and set design.
There were two seasons that came out in 2015 that was the prologue for the official movie. You can find these two seasons on KissAsian.sh. I personally recommend watching the two seasons before the movies, as it adds character moments that the movies tend to lack for the sake of getting the story and action in. You also get to know the 5 gangs better and how each character forms a bond with each other it also has some great action sequences as well.
Then there is the "first" movie Road to HIGH&LOW which is pretty much a retelling of the two seasons with an added 10 minutes or so just for the movie.
Then it goes HIGH&LOW The Movie.
Then a spin off film Red Rain is after HIGH&LOW THE MOVIE (be careful don't do what I did and immediately start HIGH&LOW 2 after the first movie as it spoiled Red Rain). This movie follows the Amimya Brothers who are pretty much the catalyst who split the Mugen gang into the 5 gangs in the SWORD story, which is what the two seasons are about, they're sprinkled throughout the series but this is the first time you really spend time with them.
After the spin-off technically the DTC movie is next as it follows 3 of the comedic members of the main gang Sannoh, not an action movie, more of a comedy movie. I say technically because it actually came out after the official 3 movies but chronologically it's before some of them. Before the DTC movie there are 11, 3-5 minute episodes to watch beforehand but unfortunately the only way to watch them with English subs is you have to join MugenClub on LiveJournal, it's run by the one guy who has subbed every HIGH&LOW thing to come out these past 5 years. He moderates it himself and only allows people familiar with the characters already to join, it took a little over a week to get accepted into the community. (You could totally watch this after the 3 movies but I only brought it up because chronologically it happens after the first movie, I believe)
After DTC Movie, it's HIGH&LOW Movie 2 followed by the 3rd movie Final Mission, which is presumably the end of the SWORD story arc. If you finish the Final Mission and want more just look up those first two seasons, if you haven't already.
After Final Mission there is also another "season" called The Worst Episode.0 which has 6, 25 minute episodes that is a prologue to the last movie called HIGH&LOW THE WORST. The episodes help immensely because the movie starts right where the last episode ends. You would also have to watch The Worst Episodes .0 thru Live Journal, MugenClub. As of this past Thursday night, they just announced that even more Worst episodes will come as well that take place after HIGH&LOW THE WORST, so there is more content coming.
If you wanna dive even more, there is another action verse that is in the same universe as HIGH&LOW and The Worst. Takashi Miike filmed the first two prequel adaptions of the manga titled Crows, which in itself a prequel to the Worst manga, which is the group in The Worst movie. The movies are the Crows Zero (2007) then Crows Zero 2 (2009) followed by Crows Zero Exploded (2014) then the story continues through the mangas. The school in those films and mangas is mentioned a bit thruought The Worst movie but they aren't exactly connected persue as some actors in Crows Exploded are actually featured in the High&Low series as different characters but they are still in the same universe, you don't have to worry about that but just thought if you wanted to expand into the universe more, you can.
Well, there ya go. As someone who just found out this series a few weeks ago, I already binged all of it and find it one of the most wholesome action series to date and is definitely a great action series especially after something like Cobra Kai. The characters are likeable and can be quite funny and also have the variety of personalities a typical anime would have, the slogan for this show was "Everybody is the main character" but it also is about commraterie and friendship even if you're in opposite gangs. It's really worth your time and should watch it, even though it feels like Kingdom Hearts levels of confusion when it comes to the names and spinoffs lol
submitted by trebud69 to NetflixBestOf [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 23:30 TheBusted A Proper Bulbing

Not mine, but this is another one of my all-time favorite stories.

Hi, my name is Alana. I'm 27, with long, brown hair, 5'7", and a perfect body, thanks to the two hours I spend daily at the exclusive gym down the street from my luxury condo. I've been told by about a million different males, as well as several girlfriends that I have a face to die for. Can you blame me for being confident?
It's easy to stay beautiful when you're in my line of "work." If I was asked to list my job title, I think I'd call myself a Professional Man-ipulator. It's an extremely cushy, well-paying "job" that requires minimal effort and gives me plenty of free time to travel, go shopping, but most importantly tend to my personal grooming. Between the gym and all the skin products I'm able to afford, it's easy staying beautiful.
How did I fall into this profession? It wasn't until my early 20s that I discovered the joys of Female Domination. For a long time, I worked as a waitress. It was a nice restaurant and I wasn’t making a bad living, but I felt unfulfilled. Now those feelings of emptiness at the end of a long day are gone. I’ve found my true calling: the humiliation of the male gender. Not all males, mind you. I'm talking about perverted, penis-driven retards also known as "Compulsive Jackoffs," or, my personal favorite, "Walking ATMs."
There is a lot of machine ATMs world today. But for me, there are literally billions. That's because I can make most men do whatever I want whenever I want. Put it this way -- I get dozens of emails from male wimps every day, most of whom I ignore since I don't have time. This leaves me free to focus on the jerkoffs with the fattest wallets (at least until I am done pressing a few of their "buttons" and transferring their $ to my fat bank account -- it's the only thing fat about me).
Here's the way it works: These males work their shitty 9 to 5 jobs. Then they willingly give their money to me. Or, I take it from them. Whichever you prefer.
So you're probably wondering why I have titled this story "A Proper Bulbing." Well, it has to do with scrotums. And when it comes to scrotums, I guess you could say I have a hate/love relationship.
Why do I hate scrotums so much? Scrotums are responsible for many of the world's ills. I'm totally convinced the world would be a much, MUCH better place if men's scrotums were put totally under the control of Women. Any men who still displayed violent tendencies would have their scrotums disciplined with blunt force, or a simple electrical shock, for those ladies who'd rather not touch. Imagine how many fewer wars and how much less violence there would be. But this isn't the only reason I hate scrotums. Imagine having that silly, wrinkled flap of junk hanging off your body! I detest looking at regular scrotums. However, that last sentence deserves an asterisk. That's because I very much enjoy looking at scrotums that have been "treated" properly. What do I mean by that? U shall see.
Why do I love scrotums so much? Because scrotums are part of what makes it so incredibly, amazingly, magically EAZY to control males! That and their stupid penises, of course! It’s a great comfort knowing that all men have these monstrosities sitting between their legs, causing them to do the stupidest, most retarded things imaginable. And knowing that I can control males through their scrotums (and penises) by doing absolutely NOTHING, other than being myself, is the greatest thing about life. It's like God (who is obviously female) decided to give Women the ultimate gift -- a way of dominating the weaker gender by her mere presence. I think about this all the time -- when I'm working out and men are gawking at my spandex-clad body, when I'm walking down the street in my expensive new shoes and a skirt, and of course when I'm totally humiliating the living shit out of males on the internet and raping their bank accounts.
But the "love" is not only about that. Remember I said that I love looking at scrotums when they've been "treated" a certain way? Well, that gets to one of my favorite activity involving men: ballbusting. For me and my girlfriends, kicking scrotum is the most liberating activity in the world. Every girl needs to try it.
For you men out there reading this and feeling yourself weaken -- I have a standard rate for males on my website: $500 and I will come and kick your scrotum with my expensive shoes until you beg for mercy, and your scrotum is inflated to the size of a baseball. In other words, by paying the $500, men agree to submit their scrotums for a brutal kicking that will result in terrible, excessive swelling, or, as I like to call it, "bulbing." I try not to pop their balls, because I'm not psycho or anything (but no promises), which means my goal is to inflict as much damage as humanly possible without rupture.
I should also add that by paying the $500, the male agrees to submit to a clothed-female nude-male photograph session. The photos always take place at the end of the scrotum punishment. I insist upon full-body, fully nude male photos, because I love the look of his face when I've finished um, annihilating (yes, that’s not too strong a word) his genitals. And of course I insist upon a close-up of the scrotum itself. It's so much more pleasing to the eye when it's a deep, enduring red/purple color and swollen to the point where the guy probably won't be able to walk for several days. I love it! Once I have the photographs, it means I basically own the guy. I don't show a photo of his face on my website (unless he pisses me off, or unless he gives his consent), but all the close-ups are on my website. All 476 (and counting) of them. 476 bulbs. Tee hee!
$500 sounds like a lot of money for a male to pay for what is essentially his own destruction, but you wouldn’t believe how popular my service is. Since I started my scrotum enlargement program two years ago, I have "processed" 476 scrotums. That's $238,000 for the mathematically challenged amongst you. And that's only part of the revenue I've been generating. Pretty soon I'll have bulbed 500 scrotums! I think I'm going to invite my girlfriends over for #500. Imagine that. Males willingly pay me to mangle their groins. Isn't life wonderful? Talk about absolute power.
This gets me to the story that I want to share with you. It's about a male that I own. I'm particularly proud of this one. Let me explain.
As I mentioned, prior to becoming a Man-ipulator, I was a waitress at a good restaurant in a posh part of down. I made a decent living, but the hours were shitty and I had to put up with Keith. Ah, Keith [snicker].
Keith was, and still is, the floor supervisor at my restaurant. In other words, back when I waited tables, he was my boss. Now, as you will soon see, I'm his boss. Keith is a tall, balding male in his early 30s who used to act as if he was the shit. All the waitresses couldn't stand him. There were several reasons for this: One, he was a total stickler for punctuality. If you were a minute late, you'd be docked two hours pay. Two, any time there was any issue with a customer -- no matter how big a douche bag the customer was -- he would side with the customer and give the wait staff an earful. Three, he made insulting comments to all the waitresses and he often would grope us in ways that made us uncomfortable. Me and my friend, Trina Lin, who also quit and is also now a Man-iupulator, used to get furious about it. We even considered telling the chef and owner, but we realized that d-bag wouldn't do anything about it. So why bother?
Around two and a half years ago, I stumbled upon some Female Domination sites on the Internet. I'm a voracious reader and what I discovered really fascinated me. I knew some Women out there controlled their men but I never realized the extent of the fetish. I shared my findings with Trina and we began experimenting on the side. In absolutely no time, we both had several male clients and we were raking in the dough. Six months after that, we both surprised the fuck out of Keith by quitting on a busy Saturday. We both showed up to work and put on our waitress outfits. Then, just as the first diners were getting seated, we walked up to Keith, handed him our aprons, flipped him the bird and walked out of there. It was awesome! The look on his face was priceless. As we walked out, he shouted, "You'll never work in this town again." We just turned to each other and laughed.
After that, I quickly forgot about Keith as my new career took off. The next couple of years went by. My income skyrocketed and I "work" like, maybe ten hours per week. But can you even really call it work if you're doing what you love to do? I guess it is work in the sense that I have to sort through a million stupid emails from retarded men and make sure I don't cross paths with a dangerous dude. For that reason, I have a bodyguard. I don't pay him anything, since I own his ass. But he's a big, physically powerful guy who worships the ground I walk on and lives right around the corner. Any time I'm doing a session with a new client, he sits in my guest room, ready to pounce if a Walking ATM gives me any trouble. It's nice to know he's there, and he's thrilled to serve me in any way he can.
A few months ago, as I was sorting through all the loser mail I get, one of them stood out. It was the name of my ex-boss and there was an attachment. My heart skipped a beat. Keith?! What did this idiot want? Well, I opened the email and began laughing. Then I spoke with Trina on the telephone and we laughed together for another hour straight. I saved his email. Here it is:
Dear Miss Alana,
It's Keith, your ex-boss. I have been debating whether or not I should send this email but you are so irresistible that I can't help but do it. Let me explain. I know I wasn't very nice to you when you worked at (name of restaurant). And I want to apologize to you deeply and sincerely for that. As it so happens, I'm deeply submissive and a few months ago I stumbled upon your website. I couldn't believe it. The amazingly beautiful Alana, a lifestyle Dominatrix! I was shocked, amazed, and more than a little turned on.
Yes, you guessed it. I'm a totally submissive, pussy-whipped, masturbator.
I can't believe I'm going to send this. Alana, ma’am, I need to be punished for the way I treated you. Nothing would be more fitting, I think, than for me to enroll in your Jacktard 101 class, where I'll surely be taught a lesson that I'll never forget. I think this would be fitting revenge for you, for all the times I treated you poorly.
Miss Alana, I'm so sorry again. The truth is that all those times I was bothering you, I secretly fantasized about you humiliating me. I can't tell you how many times I jacked off while imagining myself debasing myself at your feet, and doing stupid things for your entertainment. The day you and Trina quit, while a nightmare at work, was secretly one of my favorite days. I masturbated myself for weeks on end when I thought of the way you flipped me the bird. I couldn't get the image out of my head. Imagine my total delight and amazement when I discovered your website. This is the stuff dreams are made of.
To show you my sincerity, I have attached a photograph of me. Please tuck it away and use it against me. As I said, I intend to enroll in your Jacktard 101 program with your permission.
Humbly yours,Keith
I opened the photo attachment he sent me. Keith was naked, spread-legged, facing the camera. He held his little (of course) penis in his fingers and had this retarded look on his face. HA HA HA! The best part was his organs themselves. For such a large male, Keith had a pathetic pin-dick, but his scrotum was huge! They made his pin-dick look even smaller than it actually was -- no small feat. I especially love racking big scrotums. It’s like a fun challenge to see how big I can make them. Sometimes I can inflate them to the size of a softball.
I think I stared at the naked photograph for a good five minutes, the smile on my face growing wider and wider. I must have laughed for an hour straight. This was to be my greatest conquest yet.
You're probably wondering what the Jacktard 101 program is, so let me explain. The Jacktard 101 program was a rather ingenious lesson plan I came up with for all those compulsive jacktards out there to jerk off properly and worship me in a way that I like to be worshipped.
Here's how it works: By enrolling in my Jacktard 101 program, the penis pumping puppet agrees to pump his penis (say that ten times fast!) at least once every single day (I know, piece o cake, right?) for 101 consecutive days. For you monkey-spankers out there, it probably sounds like a dream. But there's a catch. In order to "graduate," my students commit to gobbling up their manchowder after every single ejaculation. Can you even imagine? 101 dirty cumloads festering inside the belly of each and every loser that enrolls in the program. It took me approximately 19 minutes to film the Jacktard 101 video and I've sold over 2,000 of them. There are other built in rules in my program. I demand that all my students stare at a photo of me on my website while they jerk it. It's just a simple photo of me in classy, feminine attire staring right at the camera lens. This way, I'm conditioning their brains so they worship me and send me extra tribute.
It's been a remarkably successful program for me, as well as the losers who pay to humiliate themselves. Successful for me because I'm getting rich. Successful for the losers because they get to serve a higher power and humiliate themselves, while pleasuring their stupid penises. According to my calculations, if a dude eats 101 of his own pathetic cumloads he's effectively eaten a gallon of his own jizz! Ha ha. Can you even imagine? If that isn't the complete definition of LOSER, I don't know what is. Jerk your own pathetic penis, and EAT all your slimy splooge -- a gallon of it. If that isn't enough, I make them thank me after they're finished guzzling. "Thanks for the lesson, Miss Alana," they all say.
There's one final segment to my program. Once the loser completes the program, he can download a certificate from my website, which says, "I successfully completed Miss Alana's Jacktard 101 program. I'm a certified cum-eating loser." Ha! Then they email me a photo of themselves holding the certificate with load # 101 festering on their tongues. Now that's total ownership.
That gets me back to Keith. Once I got finished reading his email, and laughing, I threw on my spandex and went to the gym. As I bounced up and down on the Stairmaster, I wondered how I could ensure that Keith suffered the most abject, demoralizing humiliation ever inflicted upon a male. No easy task, right? There are a lot of smart girls out there who have severely exploited males. Millions of women across the world humiliate millions of men every single day. But I know I'm good at this and I was up to the task. I couldn't stop smiling during my workout once I figured out what I was going to do to the complete jackass that made my life a living hell for three years.
After getting home, showering and slipping into shorts and a t-shirt, I sat in front of the computer and constructed an email:
Dear Keith the LOSER,
Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! Why am I not surprised to discover you’re an ashamed, closeted, penis jacking pervert?
I will admit you as a student in my Jacktard 101 program under the following added probationary conditions. Because of our history, I'm going to have to insist that you agree to a few additional up front rules. I believe this added structure is necessary to your development as a true worshipping disciple of mine. So, here are my added rules:
  1. Each day, before two in the afternoon, you are to film yourself masturbating and email the film to me. But I don't have the time to watch the whole retarded penis-jacking ritual and I don't want your emails jamming my computer. Therefore you are to send me only 30 seconds of edited footage. The 30 seconds will begin with you introducing yourself as Keith The Loser, then a quick snippet of your pathetic ejaculation, then you EATING YOUR CUM, and thanking me PROFUSELY for teaching you another lesson.
  2. Each day you are to deposit $10 to my pay pal account. If I'm dissatisfied with your video (AND I WILL WATCH EVERY VIDEO), I will increase the payment to $100 on that day.
  3. Any failure to follow my instructions will result in me shutting you off for good. There will be no second chances. You should also know that if I sense any lack of respect, the folks at (my old restaurant) might be getting some new movies in the mail.
Your agreement to My terms will be in the form of a video, sent to Me tomorrow by 2 PM, as well as an initial deposit of $100 (first ten days) to My account.
-Miss Alana
The next day, like clockwork, Keith’s first video came in, I immediately forwarded it to Trina and we watched it while talking on the phone. Both of us couldn't stop laughing. Keith stood there with his legs spread, his crotch sticking out, pumping his spunk into a tissue. The whole time his tongue was hanging out and he was grunting like a freak. He looked right at the camera and gobbled the whole mess down. Then he got on his knees and put his hands up in prayer and started thanking me like a boss who spared his job. What a total triumph! We had oodles of fun watching him make a total jackass of himself for the first week or so. After that, he got boring, so I didn't watch for a while, but one day I checked a few videos to make sure he was in compliance. His "loser-tax" tributes continued to fill my bank account. Of all the losers that send me tribute, I think I've had to do less "work" for Keith than any of them. In light of our history, it's fitting, don't you think? A convenient transfer of wealth from male to Female, from retard to Goddess. It's a unique form of Darwinism.
For load #101, I decided to make a house call. Because of our history, Keith was obviously a special case. This was more than just some random jackass who wanted to be humiliated; this was personal. In light of that, I wanted to have an intimate one-on-one moment with Keith where I could cement my dominance over him in memorable fashion. For that reason, I though the best place to truly embarrass him and hammer home my superiority was in his "private" sanctuary, a.k.a. his bedroom, the site of so many self-administered personal relief massages. By invading his home and shaming him in the way I had selected, it would show him that his body and his life, not to mention his dignity, no longer belonged to him. It belonged to me.
After arranging to visit his condo on a Friday afternoon, I instructed him in an email to leave his front door unlocked and lie on his bed, naked. He was to have tissues and hand lotion in bed with him and he was to masturbate himself to the brink of orgasm. I instructed him to groan continuously so I'd have no trouble finding his bedroom when I arrived. As a final touch, I told him I wanted his legs spread and up in the air and the middle finger of his non-jacking hand to be wedged up his anus. Just so there would be no shenanigans, I told him that people knew of my whereabouts and if he was anything less than ultra-obedient, the tapes of him masturbating would be circulated everywhere.
I dressed in simple attire, jeans, a blouse, booties and a full length jacket. I didn't intend to be there for more than 15 minutes. This wasn’t the first time I arranged to walk in on a masturbating loser. I absolutely love to do it. Another technique of mine is to arrive late, so the male is forced to get all pent up and bothered while I take my sweet time and arrive at my leisure.
When I arrived, I took a moment to take my jacket off and check myself in the mirror. I could hear the shameful monkey-spank groans coming from down the hall, so without further delay I headed straight to the source of the perverted groaning sound, an anticipatory smile on my face. I pushed open the door to his bedroom and there was Keith in all his "glory," legs spread and elevated, finger stuck retardedly up his own ass, pumping his penis and groaning. The tissues and lube were next to him on the bed.
"Oh I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?" I said, conjuring up my most condescending, feminine voice.
Keith's face turned so red. It's always more satisfying when they get really embarrassed. And in Keith’s case, it was with good reason that he was embarrassed. But I wanted to make sure he experienced some real shame. I sat down on the bed next to him and slid my hand beneath his chin, so he had no choice but to face me.
"You should see yourself," I began. "What a disgusting pervert you are! You do realize you've paid me a thousand dollars to feed on your own filthy sperm, right? And now look at you!" I released his chin and slapped him like a pimp slapping his bitch. His face became the picture of shame -- eyes cast downward, cheeks redder than ever. That's what I wanted. “Absolutely pathetic,” I added.
I'm not in the business of giving males what they want. I'm in the business of giving males what they need. I knew Keith wanted me to watch him masturbate and consume his own ejaculate. He wanted a female audience to fulfill his fantasy. I had something else in mind.
"Okay, I can't stay. I'm meeting a couple of friends at the mall," I lied. "Toss your legs up over your head, so your penis is pointing down at your stupid face."
Once he obeyed, I reached into my handbag and took out his certificate. I flipped it casually in the air and made for the door. "I have no intentions of watching you splooge all over your face. I'm going to go buy a few pairs of designer shoes with your money. Then, tomorrow I'm going to splatter your balls with them. Happy jerking, loser! If you jerk really quickly, I might hear your groans before I leave."
I could hear him grunting as I left the apartment. He obviously wanted me to hear him pleasuring himself. I’m quite sure he gave himself a faggot facial while I was riding the elevator downstairs. But what the fuck do I care? I had exploited him the way I wanted to exploit him and now it was time to go shopping.
Later, when I got home, I wrote him an email:
Dear Keith the LOSER,
Tomorrow (Saturday) is officially "Punishment Day" for you. It's the day I intend to pay you back in full for your childish and unacceptable behavior from the days when I worked at (name of restaurant). As I'm sure you know from your deep infatuation with Me, I specialize in Ballbusting. I assume you have had a chance to review the 100s of pictures of Bulbs on my website. You can expect your scrotum to take on a similar appearance. Make sure you shave your pubes THOROUGHLY the morning before you arrive. I want it smooth. And dipshit, I have to warn you that I'll take absolutely no prisoners. I'm going to knock your stupid nutsack (and the nuts inside your stupid nutsack) into next week. Very few things in life give me more pleasure. The fact that we have a history will only enhance my feeling of determination and my ultimate joy when I do what NEEDS to be done.
Of course you know you will pay me $500 for this necessary attitude adjustment, which you yourself admitted that you so desperately need. When you arrive, I'll lead you into a room, where you are to strip naked and bring your wallet with $500 in it. I'll be waiting in my kitchen. You are to enter, kneel and open your wallet so that I can ceremoniously rape it.
I expect you to arrive at noon. Do not be late.
-Miss Alana
For all you jerkoffs (and Females) unfamiliar with my practices, let me explain in clinical terms what it means to properly "bulb" a male. When a male suffers trauma to his scrotum, the testicles inevitably swell. As they swell, eventually they force the skin from the scrotum to stretch in such a way that the skin will accommodate the damaged nuts. A properly "bulbed" scrotum takes on a highly comic appearance. For one, it's quite large in size, since testicles tend to swell quite dramatically when punished with the blunt force of Female Footwear. Two, the skin takes on an ultra smooth appearance. This is because, as the gonads undergo trauma, the skin has no choice but to stretch to accommodate them. The result is sort of like what a facelift does to wrinkled skin. Not only that, but a properly bulbed scrotum tends to become almost perfectly circular in appearance. What a wonderful symmetry, and proof that scrotums were meant to be this way. And lastly, the bulb also turns wonderful shades of pink, red, blue, and my personal favorite, purple.
I have a high quality digital SLR camera, and after a successful bulbing, I make sure to take dozens of photographs. Then, I'll analyze the photographs and come up with my favorite one. The photograph is then labeled and archived with the male's name, age, and the date the bulbing took place. My photographs always include a totally flaccid penis in them. There are several reasons for this: One, I find the full image, penis included, very pleasing to the eye. Two, the docile penis offers wonderful perspective on the extent of the damage that was inflicted upon the scrotum. Three, it makes for a highly humiliating image that the bulbed male can always look as a reminder that he was put in his place by the superior gender. I want him to know that he is the victim of Female Power. And when I'm finished with them, they know it.
Prior to Keith's arrival, I had Trina, Lynn and Leslie come over. They're my closest gal pals and all intricately familiar with male humiliation. I had them sit quietly in my kitchen while I answered the front door. Keith looked so embarrassed and this was even before he realized he would have an audience. Without saying a word, I stared him down. "Are you ready for more humiliation?"
"Yes ma'am," he looked almost crestfallen.
"Look me in the eye when I address you!" I gave him three crisp bitch-slaps. "Oh, don't you worry. I'm going to humiliate you alright," I said, before leading him to the room where he was to remove his clothing (and what little dignity he had left). I couldn't help but snicker as he disrobed. He had a little erection and his balls hung there, oblivious to me, their executioner.
Fittingly, I wore all black -- a tight black skirt, a black top, black stockings and black high heels. Trina, who is Asian, looked gorgeous in a white dress with these really cool white leather square-toed boots. The other ladies looked quite lovely as well.
You should have seen Keith's eyes pop out of his head when he walked butt-naked into my kitchen and found himself face-to-face with four clothed Females. He was totally mortified.
Lynn has this great video camera that takes both video and high quality photographs simultaneously. She captured Keith's priceless reaction when he realized his humiliation was going to be much more public than he imagined. The girls all laughed as he stood there stunned. He mumbled something about this not being what he expected.
"Get your naked ass over here and present your wallet to me," I said matter-of-factly.
After I raped Keith's wallet of $500 of his hard-earned money, I made him kneel before us and admit what a compulsive masturbating jackass he truly was. "We've all seen the videos," Lynn added, as his face turned bright red just as it had the day before. We all called him a loser (I have always found that word to be particularly fitting and effective), jackass, compulsive dick-spanking retard, lots of mocking laughter, you get the idea.
Once that was taken care of, it was time to get down to the bulbing. I couldn't wait. All dominant women love to bust nuts. It's just that me and my gal pals take it to another level.
"Time to get underway," I said.
First I had him stand up, legs spread. I told him to present his balls to me and beg me to teach him a lesson. This is a must. It shows the male knows his place and is ready to accept his punishment. It also adds a ceremonial element to the proceedings, which I think is a necessary formalization of a process.
"Mess him up, Alana," said Trina.
I used a chair to brace myself and carefully measured my target, pressing the tip of my pump into Keith's groin.
THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD!
In the early stages of a bulbing, it's important to get a lot of kicks in, but the kicks can't be too hard. You want the male to remain on his feet. I used the bridge of my foot, which does a good job of causing blunt trauma without any real risk of rupture. The goal is to get good coverage and make sure both testicles begin the initial swelling process. After each ten kicks, Keith was made to thank me, as well as the other women in attendance. I kicked him maybe a hundred times this way. For the final flurry of kicks, I upped the ante, really snapping my foot with extra force. The second to last kick was enough to put him on the floor, but before he went down I nailed him with a really super kick. This one took some skill because he was falling away. I had to shuffle my feet forward and change my angle. All my work at the gym really paid off, as it made an especially loud thud and sent his genitals flying. Lynn captured the moment perfectly, getting a great shot of his penis pointing straight to the ceiling as my foot battered his nuts. When one analyzes ballbusting photographs, it’s amazing the way the nuts contort during an assault. Keith's knees slammed together and his hands came down between his legs in protective (too late) mode. I love watching when they do that. The Women all cheered.
We were off to a good start.
I circled him as he struggled to get his bearings and (I assume) deal with the pain in his stomach. We could see he was already red down there. "Now I want you to get on all fours and face the Women. I'm going to kick you from behind."
I really love kicking scrotum from behind. I admit it gives me a thrill to see that naked ass crack just staring up at me, legs spread like a dog in heat, silly, dangling soon-to-be-bulb, waiting for additional punishment. It gives me a chance to show them how uncivilized they really are. I also love the imagery of my shoe wedged between their ass, as I rock their world. Because it echoes off the floor, each kick makes this nice snapping noise.
SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!
Keith was starting to suffer now. I could see him try to cheat his punishment by sliding his knees slowly together and lowering his ass. "Keep your fucking legs spread, ass up!" I warned him, before launching another good ten snappers. I put my hips into the last kick and his ass bounced up into the air. He fell on his side and groaned.
Now we were getting somewhere.
His legs were fastened together and his hands were wedged into his groin, doing their best to protect his prized possessions. It was pure male instinct. I’d seen it hundreds of times. I knelt down and reached between his legs, gently pushing away his hands, which gave way without too much of a fight. Once I had snaked my hand in there and secured his ever-expanding scrotum, I gave it a firm squeeze and ordered him onto his back. “Spread your legs nice and wide, loser, so we all have a nice view. It’s inspection time.”
After he realized he had no choice but to comply, I began properly inspecting his scrotum, pulling and pinching at the skin. I love the process of “damage inspection” during a bulbing because, by the time I check, the scrotum is usually highly sensitive and a simple pinch can result in pain. Keith kept wincing and writhing on the floor. But he kept his legs apart like a good, obedient male should. It was clear I had unencumbered access to Keith’s most prized possessions. And I had his respect.
I made sure to stand to one side of Keith so that the other ladies had a nice view of him lying there, genitals lewdly on display. His scrotum had turned a nice pink color and was starting to stretch, but we had a long way to go. After tugging and pinching longer than was necessary, I leaned forward and looked deep into his eyes. "We're not even close to halfway done. Get back into position," I said. Trina laughed.
Once he was back in position, I stood and let him know what I thought about him covering up. "Each time you sprawl on my kitchen floor and grab your dirty organs, it makes me want to kick you even harder," I said. "You know this is what you wanted and we all know it's what you need. So stay PUT-" SNAP....SNAP....SNAP. I began putting my hips into each kick. Now every time I kicked him, Keith's ass bounced pleasingly in the air, but knowing my warning, he gritted his teeth and got back into position.
SNAP!!!
He was really bouncing up with each kick now. Lynn let out a groan of satisfaction. All of us lifestyle dominatrixes love taking part in a good bulbing. Everything about it is so enjoyable. It's a total display of vaginal power. And we all love watching that male ass bounce in the air.
SNAP!!!
This time I squealed with pleasure. Keith's sack was now a bigger target and I could feel all that mushy flesh really yield as my foot smashed into it. Keith let out his first real scream and began rolling around my kitchen floor.
I kneeled down and again secured him by the balls. Once he had obeyed my unspoken command by lying on his back and spreading his legs, we all studied his exposed groin. "Looks better, Alana," said Leslie, in that detached, lispy voice of hers. "Progress is being made." Leslie was such a snob.
Determined to make an example of Keith, I conjured up my strictest most no-nonsense tone:
"Get back on your hands and knees. This time I want your ass way up in the air."
SNAP!! SNAP!! SNAP!! Three more good hard kicks. Keith slumped over.
"Get up."
SNAP!! SNAP!! SNAP!!!!!
"Uhhhhhhh!" I added.
SNAP!! SNAP!! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP SNAP SNAP!
I kicked with controlled fury. No sense in rushing the job. Plus, more kicks usually equate to a rounder, firmer bulb. It's important to be thorough and make sure every single cell of testicle ends up swollen.
Again I kneeled down and checked. Keith's scrotum was beginning to resemble a bulb, but it was still too loose for my liking. His nuts had more room to swell. An appropriately bulbed scrotum should cause the male constant pain, because the testicles eventually push against each other as they run out of room. "What do you think, Ladies?" I asked, knowing full well the answer.
"Not there yet," said Leslie.
"Nicely swollen, but not yet an official bulb," added Lynn. “We want those nuts pushing up against each other in his sack so he’s in perpetual pain.” It was as though the girl could read my mind.
“Yes dear, I know what it means to bulb a male,” I said.
I pulled a chair between Keith’s legs so I could be comfortable. A Woman can't really kick with the bridge of her foot from this position. It’s important to have square-toed shoes with some depth. Fortunately I had my square-toed red shoes at the ready, for just this purpose. Trina handed them to me.
I made him sit up and put my shoes on my feet (an honor) before returning him to the floor. I pressed my shoe up against his sack. Keith's scrotum had grown almost to the size of a baseball now, but it was clear more work was needed to increase his swelling and get the skin suitably tight. I held my shoe against his ball bag and spoke evenly.
"This is the nastiest part of a bulbing. Don’t you think, ladies?”
"Especially for him," quipped Trina.
submitted by TheBusted to BallbustingStories [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 23:05 pog99 Alternative Hypothesis/ Ryan Faulk distorts South Africa under Apartheid.

Originally, my plan was to continue on with his article on Slavery in the United States. However, United Left, and some previous posts of mine, more or less already debunk the picture he paints in that article. I still plan to address though at a later date.
This article, perhaps even better than the last, show how thin Faulk's objectivity is. He opens and closes as if he was actually being holistic, but instead leaves a specimen blatant rationalization over a topic common among right-wing circles, the racial history and politics of South Africa. Lets not waste time.

The impact of European colonialism on the world is often described as being profoundly negative. The popular view is that Europeans came, stole resources, destroyed cultures, and committed mass murder all over the earth. By contrast, the prevailing view 100 years ago was that Europe was supplying the world with advanced institutions which they would not develop on their own and, in so doing, was civilizing the world.
Either of these theories might be true, and, to some extent, they both are. It is obviously correct that Europe took resources from places, killed some number of people, and ended various indigenous cultural practices. It is also obviously true that Europe set up various institutions, such as capitalism and democracy, in various parts of the world which had not developed these things on their own.
Does he think state control over, say, African labor during colonialism is Capitalism? Or that limiting Local chiefs from legislation such as in Colonial Nigeria is democracy?
A broad look at the empirical evidence suggests that European colonization helped most people more than it hurt them. Research has shown that the longer, or more heavily, a place was colonized by Europeans the richer it ended up being today (Eaverly and Levine, 2012; Feyrer and Sacerdote, 2006). Moreover, in the 20th century Africa, which is the center of much of the colonization debate, saw tremendous net gains in both wealth and population size (Manning, 2013; Roser; 2016)
Going through each of these, The Easterly study mainly looks at economic growth, and honestly doesn't suffice to explain the specific of African colonial experience in that regard. The second study notes how specific conditions of colonialism influences growth, while the two figures on African population growth shows this to be particularly so in the Post colonial era. Few would consider the first decades of African independence to be embodied by these numbers.
Here's an actual balanced set of studies and explanation on Colonialism in Africa.
I find this broad view compelling, but discussions on colonialism are rarely about the broad view. Instead, people like to talk about the anecdotal experiences of particular countries at particular times, and no anecdote is more often talked about than South African apartheid.
In this article, I will examine the history of South Africa as a case study in European colonialism.
Correction: You will gloss over it in a way that reflects your political biases.
Black Origins
The earliest people known to have occupied South Africa were a type of African called Khosians. Khosians are not the group of people most people think of when they think of Black South Africans. Those are Bantus. Bantu Africans and Khosians Africans look different, traditionally spoke different languages, and lived different sorts of lives. If we turned the clock back 4 thousand years, we would find that the southern half of the African continent was almost entirely inhabited by Khosians.
Some time roughly 3,000 years ago, Bantu Africans began expanding out of eastern and central Africa. As they expanded, they displaced many of the African peoples who had previously lived there. The degree to which this expansion occurred via violence, disease, out breeding, or other means, is unknown.
By 1,000 AD, the Bantu had reached most of South Africa. However, most of the people there were still Khosians. When the Portuguese arrived in South Africa in the 1400’s, they encountered very few Bantu.
As the Bantu expanded, they divided into tribes which then went to war with one another over land. In several African nations, a specific Bantu tribe came to dominate the others and then set up an empire. This occurred in South Africa as well. In the 1810’s and 1820’s, the Zulus conquered many neighboring African tribes and formed the Zulu empire. This empire went on to last almost until South Africa was entirely under White rule.
So a few things worth mentioning, that by 1000 AD, the current trends in a predominately Bantu Eastern half and a predominately Khoisan Western Half was already established.

The Rise of apartheid
While the South African government did not obtain independence from Britain until 1948, the beginnings of Apartheid can be traced back to the land act of 1913. This law made it illegal for Whites to sell land to Blacks and vice versa. By this point, Whites had already conquered or purchased the vast majority of South African land and this law was designed to make sure that this would not change.
Between this time and the 1960’s, the Apartheid government passed many laws which further segregated the races. For instance, inter-racial marriage was banned.
The most often talked about policy of South Africa was the creation of the Bantustans. These were designated “homelands” for Black South Africans. The Apartheid government forcibly moved millions of Blacks from multi-racial areas of South Africa into these Bantustans.
As explained in the report of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, the people who established the Bantustans gave the following rational for their motives:
“NP politicians portrayed the homelands as a moral response to South Africa’s ‘multi-national’ reality. Apartheid theorists believed that South Africa was a country containing a number of nations, each developed to a greater or lesser degree. Freedom, they posited, could be realized only by providing the opportunity for each of these nations to exist and develop along its own lines.”
However, critics are quick to point out that the Bantustans consisted of less than a quarter of South Africa’s land even though Blacks made up an overwhelming majority of the nation’s population.
📷
Bantustans also suffered from tremendous poverty. As the Encyclopedia of Britiannia explains:
“The Bantustans were rural, impoverished, underindustrialized, and reliant on subsidies from the South African government.The original hope of the designers of the Bantustan system was that industries would be established along the Bantustan borders to utilize the cheap labour available nearby, but for the most part these hopes went unrealized. Other initiatives to create the illusion of viable economies for the Bantustans also broke down. To the end they were heavily dependent on financial aid supplied by the South African government. Poverty remained acute in the Bantustans, and child mortality rates were extremely high. Despite draconian control of where people were allowed to farm and the number of cattle they were permitted to have, Bantustan lands were oversettled, overgrazed, and hence afflicted with serious soil erosion.”
So far so good. Of course, for this to be an article by Faulk, things would have to sharply turn downward.
The Net Economic Impact of Bantustans
Such critics rarely mention the fact that as can be seen, in 1960, Black South Africans were exactly as poor as Sub-Saharan Africans generally were. By 1980 they were far richer (1).
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Given this, it does not seem fair to say, as some people do, that Bantustans caused Blacks to be poor. Prior to being forced into these areas, Black South Africans were just as poor as Sub-Saharan Africans generally were. Had Black South Africans been left totally alone, there is no reason to think that they would have become any richer than the rest of Sub-Saharan Africa let alone richer than they were under Apartheid. The land in Bantustans may have been bad. But this, evidently, was more than made up for by payments from the South African government.
The economic strain caused by the nature of the Bantustans is basically uncontested by actual experts as far as I know. The basis being that the clearly linked demographic disasters linked to their design have been established but ignored by the government since their early existence through the Tomlinson report and previous studies calling for reform.
Voerwerd refusing to spend the recommended budget to actually achieve independence as oppose to partial dependence for black labour, as well as the future migration to urban areas fueled by the increasingly poor conditions, suggest whatever aid given to the homelands were far from sufficient in any meaningful sense.
Height data suggests Living standards indeed deteriorated with the onset of particular labour exploitation events and that future improvements were linked to being apartheid of the same economic benefits that white South Africans were apart of. This would've been undermined had Apartheid not inadvertently fueled migration into white urban areas and new urban areas surrounding the homelands close to white populations.
Thus, whatever growth seen between Apartheid, which eventually became economically weakened from the 1970s to the 1980s, would be in spite of the laws imposed.
See here fore an overview on the arbitrary decision, poor conditions, and deceiving nature of Homeland "independence".

In conjunction with these external pressures, domestic terrorism was rapidly rising in South Africa during this time period. Following the incident in Sharpville, members of the ANC, the leading Black political party in South Africa, formed a military wing called the MK. Among its founders was Nelson Mandela, who was famously thrown in prison in 1962 for committing various acts of terrorism against the South African government.
The most famous incident of said terrorism perpetrated by the MK was the Church Street Bombing of 1983. This attack consisted of a car bomb being set off in the middle of the day on a busy street. 19 people were killed and over 200 were wounded. 📷
This is but one example from a list of many similar terrorist attacks that occurred, mostly in the 1980’s. During this time, the MK also gained a reputation for torturing prisoners.
On top of all this, in 1989 the South African president suffered a stroke that caused him to resign from office. F.W. De Klerk took his place after being elected by congress and was then re-elected by the electoral college.
De Klerk eliminated as many of the Apartheid laws as he could and, after freeing Nelson Mandela, entered into negotiations to end Apartheid.
Following the announcement of these negotiations, De Klerk’s party, the National Party, lost a national election to the pro apartheid Conservative Party. This was taken to indicate that the (White) people of South Africa did not want Apartheid to end and so De Klerk decided to hold a national referendum on whether or not to continue his negotiations to end apartheid.
The referendum was conducted in 1992 and the public was taken to have voted to end Apartheid. However, the referendum has been heavily criticized on several grounds. First, the South African government owned the media and this meant that the public only got a biased presentation of one viewpoint (Schonteich et al., 2003). Secondly, western powers were expected to plunge South Africa into a recession if they voted no (Wren, 1993). Thirdly, serious accusations of voter fraud have been made. Regardless, the negotiations continued and in 1994 Apartheid was ended.
Some Whites tried to resist the vote by setting up smaller areas of White control, but such efforts largely subsided after several Whites were executed on live TV by Black police officers. As one author wrote:
“the sight of three wounded AWB men pleading for their lives on live television and then shot in cold blood [by black policemen] had a powerful impact on the country’s Whites.”
Following the end of Apartheid, Nelson Mandela was elected president of the new South African government.
So there's an impression left here that'll pick up on later, but to give you a hint, Faulk doesn't tell you exactly who the executed whites were.
National Success Since Apartheid
Unfortunately, since Apartheid ended South Africa has declined on many metrics of national health.
Under apartheid GDP per capita usually grew roughly in sync with the rest of the World. This trend began to collapse in the 1980’s following the introduction of sanctions against the country. After apartheid ended, GDP per capita not only stagnated but, in fact, fell such that South Africans were poorer in 2002 than they were in 1982.
📷
World Bank
Of course what it also shows is an eventual recovery.
In 1980, South Africa has an unemployment rate of 9.8% (Murwirapachena et al., 2013). By 2002, that figure had risen to 30.4%, and in 2014 it was still nearly 3 times as high as it was in 1980 (Murwirapachena et al., 2013; World Bank) .
What he doesn't show is this disparity occurring before Apartheid ended, almost 10 years prior in fact.
Under Apartheid, South Africa had a longer average life expectancy than Sub-Saharan Africa generally did. Since Apartheid ended, life expectancy has stagnated and fallen such that life expectancy was almost 10 years higher in 1992 than it was in 2002.
📷
World Bank
Like the GDP, it saw a recovery.
Murder rates in South Africa began to rise in the 1970’s. Given the national turmoil of this time period, an increase in crime is unfortunate but not surprising. Perhaps less obvious, however, is the fact that murder rates exploded following the end of apartheid. As can be seen, this has disproportionately impacted Whites.
📷
(Thompson, 2004)
That is actually not supported by the data. Coloreds in South Africa make up roughly the same percentage as whites, yet their victimizations are night and day. That's actually the point of the study.
These declines have not just impacted White South Africans. The wealth gap between Blacks and Whites in South Africa was slightly lower under Apartheid than it is today.
📷(Leibbrandt et al., 2012)
This, taken in conjunction with the fact that GDP growth has slowed since Apartheid ended, implies that both Blacks and Whites in south Africa would likely be richer today if Apartheid were still in place.
Moreover, Black South Africans reported feeling less happy and less satisfied with their lives in 2008 than they did in the early 1980’s.
📷(Moller, 1998; Gaibie and Davids, 2009)
📷(Moller, 1998; Gaibie and Davids, 2009)
Thus, it seems that the economic, physical, and psychological health of South Africa has gotten worse since Apartheid ended.
The 1980s, mind you, being Apartheid at it's economical weakest compared to previous decades, going towards the trend of less government restrictions.
Kill the Boers
Anti-White racism has also risen since Apartheid ended. Today, there is a wave of mass murder being waged against the descendants of the Boers.This is how the situation was described by the president of Genocide Watch:
“Afrikaner farm owners are being murdered at a rate four times the murder rate of other South Africans, including Black farm owners. Their families are also subjected to extremely high crime rates, including murder, rape, mutilation and torture of the victims. South African police fail to investigate or solve many of these murders, which are carried out by organized gangs, often armed with weapons that police have previously confiscated. The racial character of the killing is covered up by a SA government order prohibiting police from reporting murders by race. Instead the crisis is denied and the murders are dismissed as ordinary crime, ignoring the frequent mutilation of the victims’ bodies, a sure sign that these are hate crimes*.*However, independent researchers have compiled accurate statistics demonstrating convincingly that murders among White farm owners occur at a rate of 97 per 100,000 per year, compared to 31 per 100,000 per year in the entire South African population, making the murder rate of White SA farmers one of the highest murder rates in the world.” Leon Parkin & Gregory H. Stanton, President – Genocide Watch14 August 2012
These murders are not only common place, they are also gruesome. Attie Potgieter was stabbed over 150 times while his wife and daughter, who were later executed, were made to watch.
📷
Dr. Louis John Botha was thrown into a crocodile pit and eaten alive.
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As a final example, consider the Viana family. The father and daughter were shot, the mother was raped and killed, and the son was drowned to death in a bath of boiling water.
📷
These murders reflect a more general anti-White sentiment which is ubiquitous in South Africa. Even leaders of the ANC, the party now in charge of the South African government, literally sang songs about killing White people as recently as 2012.
“South Africa’s ruling party on Tuesday defended the singing of an apartheid-era song with the words “Kill the Boer” in a row that has raised fears of increasing racial polarisation.” – Govender (2010)
White South Africans are also discriminated against by various South African institutions in order to make up for the damage that Apartheid institutions are thought to have done to Blacks.
First, there is discrimination in University admissions. Consider, for instance, this report on the University of Cape Town:
“The way in which the university has achieved this diversity, however, is somewhat controversial. To be admitted, white students must score the equivalent of straight A’s. Meanwhile, black and mixed-race students can get in with plenty of B’s. The University of Cape Town doesn’t make this policy a secret — admission cutoffs are listed by race in the prospectus.” – Kelto (2011)
Employers are encourage by the state to discriminate against Whites as well. The Black Economic Empowerment law set up the following point system in the country:
“Points are based on the percentage of blacks and other non-white ethnic groups in the company’s ownership and the skills training it gives to people in these groups. For companies, having a good BEE scorecard is often essential for business. The higher the BEE score they have, the more access they get to public markets and contracts.” – Iob (2013)
Finally, in may of this year South Africa passed the “land expropriation bill” which allows the government to force White South Africans to sell their land to the government at a price that the government decides. The rational behind this law is that it can undue the redistribution of land into the hands of whites which was solidified by the Land Act of 1913.
These factors have led White South Africans to abandon South Africa in large numbers. Since Apartheid ended, over half a million White South Africans have left the country. To put that in perspective, there are less than 5 million Whites in the whole country.
Some White South Africans are unable to emigrate on their own and are asking Western nations for Refugee status. The Canadian government has recently acquiesced to this request and allowed two White South Africans to come to Canada as refugees.
“31-year-old Brandon Huntley from Cape Town said he was constantly called a “white dog” and “settler” by Black South Africans back home. He was also robbed 7 times and stabbed three times by Black South Africans since his home country ended Apartheid in 1994. “There’s a hatred of what we did to them and it’s all about the color of your skin,” Huntley told the Canadian Immigration and Refugee Board.The evidence Huntley provided showed “a picture of indifference and inability or unwillingness of the South African government to protect White South Africans from persecution by African South Africans,” Board Chairman William Davis said.” –
White South Africans are also asking for refugee status from the EU which, in recent years, has allowed tens of thousands of middle eastern and African refugees to cross its borders.
I won't sugarcoat the the economic and social issues of whites currently in South Africa. The problem is, aside from the victimization of Afrikaners (farmers specifically) by murders, the general economic position of whites in South Africa hasn't changed.
As for white emigration, his figure combines the total number of whites (roughly 300k) that have left between 1986 (that is before apartheid fell) and 2000, and roughly 300k between 2000-2015.
Overall, the white population only slightly shrank between 1980 and 2015.

If conquest is not a legitimate means to acquire land, the Zulu and similar Bantu tributes did not justly own South African land, nor did any other tribe of the last few hundred years. After all, this land was conquered from Khoisan and older Bantu tribes.
Moreover, if the Zulu did steal the land, it is not clear that Apartheid was in the wrong for taking it from them. Is it wrong to steal something which is stolen from the thief who stole it?
If, on the other hand, conquest is a valid way to acquire land, then White South Africans had a perfectly legitimate claim on it. This might be taken to imply that there is also nothing wrong with modern Black South Africans taking land from Whites. However, conquering land via war is not the same thing as using a false political narrative about the supposed negative effects of apartheid to take land. Moreover, forcing White people into a society that hates and mass murders them is not analogous to putting Blacks in bantustans which, as we have seen, were not as bad as they are often made out to be.
I consider the morality of conquest to be a difficult question and I won’t try to resolve it here. What I will say is that it is very hard to come up with any principled moral answer which would justify the totality of what is being done to White South Africans.
Where to begin?
  1. Assuming the validity of the right of conquest, that only applies to the right to claim land or wield power over it. That doesn't exempt moral considerations on particular acts directed towards the previous occupiers. That is, if the Zulu Empire lead to the displacement and abuse of other groups like the Khoisan, then they can be morally judged on those grounds. Same can be easily said for victims of the Anglo-Boer wars under concentration camps.
  2. "White South Africans" didn't conquer Bantu lands leading to their annexation, it was the British specifically. Boers more so are responsible for the displacement of the Khoisan in the Western Cape.
  3. "Forced Removals" weren't the direct result of being conquered, annexation was. Forced removals, then, can be viewed as a separate act apart of conquest from war and as a decision by an already formed government. It was these laws that form the basis of land claims, not British colonization in and of itself.
  4. There is noting "false" that was validly demonstrated regarding the effect of Bantustans had on the black population. Nor were the Bantustans "not that bad", as most moved out by 1986.
Political Violence
Another important question is whether or not the political violence initiated by the MK against White South Africans was justified.
Apartheid set up various laws, some of which I would consider unjust. Most importantly, Apartheid severely restricted the right of Blacks to protest. This was the justification that Mandela used for resorting to violence. He had no other choice.
This may be true, and if you think that apartheid’s policies were sufficiently horrible this may justify violence, but there is no way that the indiscriminate violence against innocent and random White south Africans that the MK engaged in can be justified. Their activities, especially in the 1980’s, were morally equivalent to any other act of mass murder.
Further more, as we have seen, Apartheid’s actions were not nearly as bad as they are often thought to have been.
This is what I was alluding to earlier, that terrorism among the Anti-Apartheid movement was directed towards whites mostly. While there were indeed anti-white motivation fueling the movement, the overwhelming majority were black. See here for an understanding.
This whole section is a strawman.
Evaluating Apartheid
Even if Apartheid improved the material and psychological conditions of Black Africans,
It didn't. De facto economic integration efforts was what lead to observed improvements.
On the other hand, the material benefit that Whites brought to South Africa, and Africa generally, was truly immense. Were it not for colonialism, most Africans alive today would have never even been born.
In South Africa, that population growth came from a reaction of concentrated poverty, not wealth.
Fundamentally, the problem of African colonialism is the problem of multi-racialism. So long as Whites allowed Blacks to continue to live in Africa, which could have only been prevented with a massive and horrific genocide, Black Africans were going to resent them.
Except in Botswana, and to a lesser extent Namibia. Both with significantly different approaches to race relations.
As Apartheid shows us, this is true even if the Whites improve the conditions of the Blacks. There will always been a feeling that Whites do not belong there and Blacks will always resent the invariably superior material conditions of Whites.
Probably because many were removed from and forced away from Urban living.
Colonialism of the United States only worked because there aren’t many Indians around anymore.
I get the feeling this is part of his Bitchute video on the topic.
The kind of colonialism practiced in Africa in which Whites would be permanent but ruling minorities in a majority Black nation was never sustainable without an uncomfortable measure of totalitarianism and even then ethnic conflict was still common place.
Again Botswana.
The violence surrounding colonialism was rarely, if ever, one sided. Today, there is a massive level of systemic racism against White South Africans. The fact that this racism is not covered in Western media offers a stark contrast with how the media covered the sins of Apartheid.
The sources of the farm murders and affirmative actions were News24, a relatively left leaning SA news source, NPR, Reuters, Voice of America and the Dailymail. Only one source was an "alternative one", which reported the murder a whole year after News24 did and relied on a mainstream Afrikaner-news report.
These get attention by "Western media".
Overall, the problems of South Africa, both in terms of Blacks resenting their White rulers under Apartheid and Whites experiencing racism today, come from the inherent difficulties of having a multi-racial society. In this sense, the story of South Africa contains lessons not only about colonialism but also about more general and pressing questions of immigration and diversity.
Or, you know, what happens when you don't consider the role of Black Africans in your government, unlike Botswana.
submitted by pog99 to badhistory [link] [comments]


2020.09.19 22:05 TopGolfUFO In February of 1982 Leon Moncer of Bellaire Ohio received a death threat in the mail. Made out of cut out magazine letters, the note read "leave it alone or you are dead". He vanished soon after and his case has never been solved. Almost forty years later, his daughter is searching for answers.

This is a case where information is sparse at best, but there were still several notable discrepancies between sources. In an effort to clarify details about the case, I spoke with Leon’s daughter, Julie Wurtzbacher. This conversation took place over the phone in August of 2020. I’d contacted her for a podcast I work on, and she is actively trying to get more publicity for the case. I posted this on the Unresolved Mysteries sub as well a little while ago, but I wanted to post it on here to maybe get more attention for the case.
Here’s the Charley Project link if you just want a brief overview, but they got a few details wrong, mainly that his car was idling when it was found. http://charleyproject.org/case/leon-arthur-moncer
Leon Moncer was a complicated young man. In the investigation that ensued following his disappearance it would become public knowledge that he was an alcoholic, abusive towards his wife Irene and had had a tendency to be unfaithful with his romantic partners. Despite all of this, he was a well liked member of the community with many dedicated friends and many people had very kind words to say about him following his disappearance.
The city of Bellaire in Belmont County, is tucked into a bend in the Ohio River. It is a lush area covered in vegetation right on the edge of Ohio, fading into West Virginia. Wheeling, WV is the largest city in the area. There is evidence of a bygone golden age. Belmont county of the 1980s would have been firmly on the downslide of that golden age. The rise of Industries like the Junk trade in which Leon worked was indicative of the slow decay of the manufacturing and production industries which dominated in the past.
Leon Moncer worked for Hermon Strauss, a business in the Junk recycling industry. Leon also had aspirations of starting his own business and had recently purchased a tow truck of his own in the months leading up to his disappearance. In the Times Leader Article published on February 28th 1982, just ten days after his disappearance, Leon was described by his wife Irene as a helpful and caring man, “He’ll do anything for anybody.” His disappearance is also out of character for Leon, with Irene stating, “He’s got a lot of friends...Its just not like Leon, he's never done nothing like this before
In the leadup to his disappearance, Leon’s life was chaotic. He was on the tail end of a failed marriage as he was in the process of finalizing a divorce with his wife Irene. He was working a full time job and trying to start his own business on the side. He was trying to navigate a new world where he had to learn how to co-parent with Irene while no longer being in a relationship with her and on top of all of this he was still a young 21 year old man with lots of growing up to do and was dealing with a number of bad habits, namely drinking and drug use.
His wife is quoted as saying he “had a tendency to get rowdy” when drinking, which was further evidenced by the fact that he was recently involved in several bar fights. There was one tussle of particular note that had occurred several months prior as it took place at Tin Pan Alley, the known gathering spot of the notorious local mob in Wheeling. According to his wife Irene, Leon was mostly unfazed by these things. By all accounts it appears that he and Irene had worked out how to both be present in their daughter’s life even if they were no longer together. According to his daughter, him and Irene got along very well as co-parents. Though, they’d been separated long enough for Leon to move on romantically, and he had actually been seeing someone long enough to have proposed. We will refer to his fiance as GG. GG lived in nearby Bethlehem West Virginia.
While a rowdy 21 year old man getting into a handful of bar fights may seem normal, another event that happened during the week before his disappearance may cast his presence at Tin Pan Alley in a more interesting light. During the week leading up to his disappearance Leon received a death threat in the mail, compiled from a hodgepodge of newspaper and magazine clippings. It simply read "Leave it alone or you are dead." The letter had no stamp on it, so it had been put directly in the mailbox by whoever wrote it. Leon simply shrugged off the death threat. However it has also been reported by Irene that in the weeks and days leading up to his disappearance Leon had become more guarded, especially with regard to his three year old daughter Julie. He suddenly began to forbid anyone from taking pictures of the girl. He was very careful about who he would let hold her, and became somewhat overprotective. Could this pattern of violence culminating in a death threat note have something to do with his disappearance?
Leon Moncer was last seen on the night of February 18th 1982. It was his brother, Raymond’s birthday party, and Raymond said “ He couldn’t make it because he had a hot date.” Him and GG had been in a bit of a rough patch, as he’d hit her recently, and possibly broken her nose. Her brothers were upset with Leon, and whether or not he had made up with GG yet is unclear. His hot date was likely with a different woman, as no one at the time knew who he was meeting. To this day, who the date was with remains a mystery.
Irene told the Times Leader in an interview ten days later what she knew of Leon’s timeline that night. He’d left from his parents house across the street, then stopped by his boss’s house to borrow $20. Then he drove to his friend, Ted’s house in Wheeling. Irene did not know Ted’s last name. Multiple friends placed Leon at Ed’s Lounge in Lloydsville later on that evening, but none made any mention of Leon’s mystery date. The true concern for Leon began the next day Feb. 19th when he failed to show up for work, it was pay day at Herman Strauss Inc. Leon’s brother Ray said that his brother “never missed work unless he was sick.” Leon’s absence at work was enough for the family to file a report with the Belmont County Sheriff's Department that very day.
That very night that the case began to take a turn towards the bizarre. Irene would later tell the press about a strange phone call Leon’s mother, Shelby received. She was speaking on the telephone around 9 p.m. when the operator suddenly interrupted her conversation asking both parties to hang up because of an emergency phone call from Leon Moncer. His mother hung up the phone and sat waiting for a call from her lost son, which never came.
The next day, Irene and Raymond decided to take the search into their own hands. They drove around the Bannock area, as Leon had been known to cruise around the old mining roads. After searching for a while, they spotted Leon’s gray Dodge Aspen parked in a ditch off the side of the road. Irene told WTOV9 that “My heart like sunk. I mean, I was happy. I was really happy because I figured maybe he was in there sleeping or something like that, but he wasn't there.” The car was empty, along a road that branched from 331 near Belmont Technical college. Persons living in the area told Irene that the car had been sitting in that same location since Thursday night, the day Leon vanished. It was not near Powerline Park, as reported in other articles. The car had empty beer cans, and an empty bottle of wine.
According to Raymond, while they were examining the car, a local resident stopped and told them that the car had been idling, and the lights had been on, and he had turned the lights off and taken the key out before Irene got there, and he’d put the key in the ashtray. The key found in the ashtray however was a spare, and Leon’s usual keys were missing. There was also a flashlight missing from inside the car. Some articles report that the driver’s side door was open, though this is not mentioned in every article, and some articles mention that the inside of the car was muddy. Julie later remarked that the mud by itself was not suspicious, as it was February. In addition to the spare key, Leon’s wallet, his cigarettes and coat were all in the vehicle. Some sources reported signs of a struggle, which likely just alluded to his valuables being left behind, and the car being muddy. In 2007 local authorities would say the suspicious nature of the car indicated foul play.
Later in 2007 Sheriff Fred Thompson told the State Journal that it "Sounds like someone knew he was going to be out there on this road at a certain time, and they had a surprise for him." Moncer’s family notified authorities of the discovery right away, and tried to turn the car over to them. But according to Irene, they said “Keep it. Get it out of here.” They had the car towed to Leon’s parent’s house, where it would sit in the front yard for years. In later articles, local authorities mildly criticized this police work, saying that had the car been found today it would have been thoroughly examined.
On February 28th Irene told the Times Leader that she hoped Leon just needed time to “get his head together” because he was under stress due to the divorce, and the pressure of trying to start his own business. She told the paper “I just wish he’d call to ease everyone’s mind.”
While family members conducted searches for Leon following his disappearance, the sources do not mention any large scale effort on the part of law enforcement. As of the 28th Irene had visited several drinking establishments in Wheeling for possible clues to Leon’s disappearance. Three people told her that they saw Leon on February 20th in a Wheeling bar on Main Street. Irene reported being skeptical as to whether this individual was actually Leon. On March 5th Leon’s sister Cindy thought she saw Leon walking around town, but later said she wasn’t sure. The investigation on the part of law enforcement largely stopped after this sighting.
Soon after he vanished, Irene received a phone call from a stranger who asked her if she wanted to know where her husband was. She said that she did, and the caller replied “well his head's in a garbage bag in the river, his arms and legs are out in the strip pits." Any searches or follow-up to this phone call on the part of law enforcement were not documented if they occurred.
For months after Leon’s disappearance, Irene thought there was someone in a pick up truck following them. If she ever got the plates, or turned them over to law enforcement is unclear. To make matters worse, someone started lurking around outside her house. Irene said “This person would stand out in front of our house. He was in blue jeans and a black shirt with a hood on it and he would stand there. I thought it might be him [Leon]. Julie was everything to him. So was that him, wanting to see her, to know what she looked like? I don't know." During this time they moved about half a mile away from the house they’d lived in when Leon was there, but this mysterious figure knew their new address. However the move put them just past the jurisdiction of the authorities they’d been working with, and into the St Clairsville Police territory. Irene called the police every time this figure showed up, but St Clairesville was farther away, and police would take about half an hour to get there, so this person was always long gone by the time they showed up. This went on, sporadically, for two years.
There is a theory that perhaps Leon had been a victim of mob activity in Wheeling. The Mob was very active in Wheeling from the 60s through the late 80s. This theory mostly originates from the fact that Leon had some associations with a few shady individuals through his involvement with drugs. The mysterious note he received in the mail and his brawl at Tin Pan Alley only add fuel to this theory. But without further information, this remains just that, a theory.
Leon Moncer was declared legally dead on November 16th 1988 on what would have been his 28th birthday. Shelby struggled with that decision, but decided it was time for some kind of closure. Irene eventually moved on and remarried, but she always speaks fondly of Leon in interviews, and hopes to one day find answers.
In 1992 the Times Leader interviewed Leon’s family to discuss the ten year anniversary of his disappearance. Leon’s brother Raymond said “I believe he’s dead, I just wonder where he’s at and what happened”. At the time Raymond was still checking with the sheriff’s office every once in a while. He said the consensus seemed to be that someone knew what happened, but wasn’t coming forward. Donald Samples echoed this, saying “it could be that he doesn’t want to be found, but we haven’t ruled out foul play” and told the paper that he was still following up on leads, but no one had come forward with anything useful so far. Samples said “you can only take an investigation so far, and then you need help from the public.”
During that interview, Shelby Moncer, told the Times Leader “All I want to do is find out where he is before I die”. She kept Leon’s keys, cigarettes, and loose change that was found in the car, along with much of his old clothing. She passed away in 2010, and just like her husband, she never found the answers she was looking for about her son Leon.
Later in a 2015 interview with Weelunk, Julie remarked on her grandfather's struggle to find answers, saying “I also feel I need to do this for my grandfather because he tried and he tried, but he passed away without answers. When I was young, it wasn’t this hard. It was what it was, but the older I get, I feel like I am missing something,”. In that same article, when asked what she would do if she ever had the chance to meet him, she said “I’d probably be very mad at him if I ever met him. I’d be mad because my grandparents’ number is still the same as it was when he vanished. But I don’t exactly know what I will say to him when I meet him again, whether it’s here on Earth or in Heaven, if he goes there. I just want to know what happened, and why he didn’t come back. If I find out that he is dead, at this point I’m not concerned with who did it. I’d just want to know where he is so I can put him to rest next to my grandfather. If he’s dead, that’s where he belongs. That would be proper.”
2007 had been the year that, Moncer’s casefile was rediscovered after having been misplaced during some unknown time in the past. His file was found during an intensive search of an old storage building. His case was reopened and has periodically made the news. Much of the media coverage was pushed by Fred Connors, a reporter who worked with the Ohio Valley Cold Case Task Force. Because of this, a few of the rare articles available have the Ohio Valley Cold Case Task force email listed as the contact information, an email which no longer exists as of 2020.
During his push for media attention, Fred Connors made a general statement aimed at anyone who might have information about the case. He said “You know something about this case. "So man up! Help this young lady find her dad, or find out what happened to her dad. She needs that. Our mission has always been to give voice to the victims and justice to the families. And knowing Julie how I do and knowing how her heart is just broken, somebody needs to man up and give this girl some peace."
Sheriff Fred Thompson made a similar plea asking anyone with information to come forward, saying "They don't have to give us their name if they don't want to. Just call us in with what they know or what they think they know." The Sheriff would occasionally speak to the media to try and help get the word out. He told WTRF that “you know, it’s been 30 years. It’s time we put closure to this case for the sake of the family”. This same article touched base with Leon’s family once again, and mentioned that Leon’s sister, Hazel thinks her brother was murdered.
During the initial media buzz in 2007, Irene was more than eager to talk to the press. She still wants answers, and told the State Journal that "Not knowing is the hardest part. Even after all these years, you still want to know."
Ryan Aller, the detective who for a time was in charge of looking into tips relating to the case, said "Hope is a dangerous thing. And I would tell anybody in this situation that chances are he passed on long ago. We do believe he is dead. He was declared legally dead. Circumstances of him missing were extremely suspicious.” Aller went on to say “Somebody knows what happened to Leon Moncer -- maybe more than one person -- and I guarantee you that. What detectives need is for someone to come forward. At the very least, they could have the common courtesy to anonymously reach out and let somebody know where he is. His father went to his grave not knowing for sure if he was still alive or not.”
At one point after the case started gaining publicity, Julie spoke with a psychic near Columbus, who told her that her father was alive and had been keeping an eye on her. The psychic said that her father had changed his name to James Johnston, and shortly after putting her number on an article, Julie got a call from someone claiming to have that name. They told her she could call them if she needed anything, but didn’t claim to actually be Leon Moncer. When she tried calling the number back again it was no longer active.
In 2015 investigators followed a tip to nearby Columbus Ohio, where they ended up digging up a basement. Julie was not informed of this tip, or what came of it if anything. She found out about it when it was published in the WTOV9 article, that she would also be quoted in when interviewers asked her how she would feel if answers were ever found. She said "Either way, I'll be sad. If he's alive, I'll be sad that he left. And if something happened to him, I'll be sad that somebody took him from me." In this same article, Irene told reporters that she was still looking for answers. She said she wants to know who did it, and that her and Julie have a right to know.
That same year in an interview with Weelunk, Julie said “I think he’s out there. I don’t think he’s dead, but I can’t really explain to you why I have that feeling. That’s what it is – a feeling. I just want to know, one way or another. It didn’t really bother me when I was younger or when I was in school, but the older I get, the more I want to know.If he did something that got him in trouble, or if his hot date was just leaving, that’s something I want to know, one way or the other. I don’t know what he was doing. And I know that he was hanging around in a lot of the bars during those days, and some of my relatives have told me that he did do drugs. My aunt told me that his nickname was the ‘Candyman,’ and that it was a reference to the drugs he was dealing.”
In 2020 she told us that an uncle had tried to tell her that the nickname was just because Leon liked sweets, but she’s responded by saying that she’s an adult and she’s old enough to know the truth. She has no illusions about the fact that he did drugs, or the fact that he could get violent when he was using. She goes back and forth on what she believes, but right now is leaning toward the idea that he was in over his head, possibly involved with some dangerous people, and decided to disappear. She said it would have been easier to do back then.
These days Julie is in her forties with a family and child of her own. She thinks about her father often, but isn’t sure what else to do to garner publicity. In the Weelunk article she said “I am very frustrated, but I’ll only stop when I’m dead. That’s when this will stop for me. I just keep thinking that if I keep pushing, someone will eventually feel guilty enough to come forward and tell me what I want to know … what I need to know.”
It’s certainly not a case that would normally be front page news. When a loved one goes missing nowadays, people will try to hide the less flattering parts of the missing person’s life, because even the slightest hint of trouble will destroy any press interest in the story. The homeless population, sex workers, and criminals do not get reported on. With Leon Moncer we already know about the less flattering parts of his life. Moncer sold drugs, and was unfaithful and abusive towards his romantic partners. In the fairly limited media attention this case has gotten so far, a few commenters have not been afraid to voice a sort of ‘good riddance’ opinion about him. But whatever you think about Leon Moncer, his family wants to know the truth.
Sources
I don’t think I can link to facebook but Julie runs a page called “helpfindleonmoncer” where she recently posted all of the Times Leader articles about the case. The WTOV9 segment I referenced is only archived on facebook as well, but if you search it, it’s easy to find.
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2020.09.19 18:48 Volsatir On Mazikeen in Season 5A (Fair warning, this is long and filled with quotes)

I had a bit of trouble formatting this post, but fixed it after doing some basic research into reddit markdown.
You know Maze, I think you’re looking for something more…than what this baby or I can be. I think you’re looking for your own connection. For a partner.\ Linda to Maze S4 E7
There have been a lot of discussions on Mazikeen lately. I even posted a thread myself on her betrayals over the seasons. Now I want to dig into Mazikeen’s emotional state and arc throughout Season 5A. Contrary to what many believe, Season 5A has given Maze a significant amount of focus, each episode highlighting a new step in her journey. My focus will be on Season 5A, making references to previous seasons when relevant. Each paragraph will cover an episode, with a quote prior to and immediately after it, the vast majority will be from said episode. Maze’s arc is still going from what started in S4 E7 with Linda telling Maze she might be looking for something more, like a partner, after realizing Maze is obsessively guarding Linda and the baby. Maze attempted this and Eve got involved during Lucifer’s attempt to break up with her in S4 E8. Maze tries to win Eve over in S4 E9 after Lucifer finally does it, but Eve’s obliviousness and major screw up led to a demon problem. After that was resolved in S4 E10 Eve decided to go figure out who she is after telling Maze that there was a connection, leaving poor Maze. Lucifer dropped an exit next, going to Hell. So now Maze is still looking for a connection with Season 5 starting.

Anybody worth dating should understand everything that makes you… you.\ Eve to Maze on Maze being a demon S4 E8
S5 E1 starts off with Maze and Chloe partnering up. It makes sense, Chloe needs a new partner and someone to fill the void Lucifer left, and Maze needs a connection. If Maze is still looking for that connection, then there are a limited number of options if she intends to hurdle the demon barrier. Eve, Linda, Amenadiel, and Chloe. Eve isn’t going to work out right now, she tried a connection with Linda but was told Linda and the baby weren’t quite what Maze was after, and Amenadiel is tied to Linda/Charlie. So that leaves Chloe. If you run with Maze’s MO with Eve in S4 E9, she’s playing it the same way, supporting Eve/Chloe to convince them that they don’t need Lucifer and lead them to her instead. Chloe’s already working to get over Lucifer, as opposed to Eve’s trying to win him back, so all Maze has to do is help Chloe succeed. They’re kindred spirits in this too, both left behind after Lucifer went to Hell on his own. This time though, Maze has been sucked into her own problems, and now she’s struggling to get through the chaos as much as Chloe. The difference is that Chloe is more emotionally mature, and she realizes what she’s been doing, along with some insight on where Maze is too. They party a lot together and get close as partners, but when Maze tries to kiss her Chloe puts an end to it.
Maze, I know what it feels like to be abandoned. You know, I mean, I’ve been throwing myself into work, and… going out with you so that… I don’t have to face it, and… I just think you and I are using this partnership to fill a void that someone else has left behind.\ Chloe to Maze S5 E1

I told you, I know things, and I know that you’re pissed at my brother. Join me. Lure him back up here, and then you can kick the real Lucifer’s ass. Or you could just keep beating up pianos. It’s your choice.\ Michael to Maze S5 E2
S5 E2 introduces us to an empty Maze. She’s not sure who to turn to after being pushed away by Chloe. While Chloe may have realized what she was doing, Maze isn’t aware of her issues yet. She’s just staying at Lucifer’s place when she confronts Michael, and he throws her a sales pitch. A chance to get back at Chloe for them splitting up, and to get back at Lucifer for abandoning her? Why not? It’s Michael’s idea to lure Lucifer back up to earth for Maze to beat him down, and Maze falls for it. Maze thinks she wants to go back to Hell at this point, especially as her life on earth seems so void, and once again we see a season 3-like Maze embracing her more malicious instincts and driving them into Chloe’s relationship with the fake Lucifer. Chloe figures it all out though, and rather than arguing with Maze she sympathizes. Maze lashes out when she’s hurting, and Chloe sees that. Chloe also knows what Maze isn’t, and by setting things up to the next level with “Lucifer”, she makes Maze realize this is going too far. Maze tries to stop Michael, but he sees it coming and neutralizes her before she can try. In her vulnerability Maze furiously finds herself the pawn, again.
Maze: I know what you’re about to do and I won’t let you. I have my…issues with Lucifer, and yeah, I am kind of pissed at Chloe. But this? No. Kissing me was one thing. Chloe is a good person. She doesn’t deserve this.\ Maze to Michael S5 E2, on him trying to sleep with Chloe

Linda: I think what you’re struggling with is a fear of abandonment. It’s completely normal. It comes from… someone important letting you down in your youth.\ Maze: I didn’t have anyone important in my youth, Linda.\ Maze and Linda in S5 E3
S5 E3 has Maze get what she teamed up with Michael for, her shot at Lucifer, but it’s not what she hoped for. After a brief fight that ended with Lucifer coming out ahead, despite Maze getting in that nice surprise strike at the end, Maze vented at Lucifer, asking him why he abandoned her. He snuffs out this argument by noting she could go down there with him and was welcome to do so, Amenadiel being an easy route down despite Maze not having any wings. Maze is left without an answer and storms off. It’s with Linda that we explore Maze’s emotional state. We see this wasn’t about Maze wanting back in Hell at all. Lucifer leaving her without warning was far more relevant than the destination he was headed for. Think back to S2 E17 and you’ll find a few similarities, but this time Lucifer never set anything up and he had a much better reason for his actions, but that doesn’t change the impact it had on Maze, and outside circumstances in her life only drove the effect home harder. Maze has always relied on her knives, and through them, violence. It doesn’t come with emotional pain or bite her back later. But she realizes in this case Lucifer isn’t who she was angry at, or Chloe. She’s gotten a better understanding about something, though we aren’t entirely sure what yet, even if we think we know. She seems to be going to Chloe’s to apologize, and upon discovering “Lucifer” is there, we get the idea she would have apologized to him too. Unfortunately for her Michael is still up to his old tricks, and though his face isn’t fooling anyone anymore, he’s still able to fake the voice. He implies there’s something Mazikeen should be upset with Lucifer about. It might just be related to that discovery she made about herself.
Maze: [scoffs] I wouldn’t… call them abandonment issues. They’re not issues. I mean who cares if Lucifer left me, right? [scoffs] Chloe left me. [sighs] [sobs] Then she left me. Why did she leave me?\ Linda: Eve?\ Maze: [sobbing] … Ugh! [grunts, shrugs, and takes a drink] (And doesn’t answer)\ Maze and Linda continued in S5 E3

Lilith: My children are perfect. They can’t be… banished, because they have no home. Can’t be abandoned, because they have no family.\ Lucifer: They’ll never be cast out of the proverbial garden.\ Lilith: You can never tell them what I’ve done today, Lucifer. Not if they are going to be unbreakable.\ Lucifer and Lilith discussing Lilith’s final request after becoming mortal S5 E4
S5 E4 was really Mazikeen’s episode, for all the fun they had with the new background, exploring a bit of Lucifer’s past, and giving Trixie a story in pulling a secret out of Lucifer through an innocent story at Maze’s request. Why is Mazikeen afraid of being abandoned? The person who left Maze, that unnamed individual to cause her so much grief, who is she? We think we know who she is. Chloe mentions Eve, it strikes a nerve. Linda tosses that name out there too, but as Mazikeen looks back at her life and her pain a little deeper, perhaps that isn’t the correct answer after all. It’s hard to say yet without a name, but this episode introduces a stronger candidate for the title, Lilith. She is why Lucifer has that ring, storing her immortality as she took a stab at love as a mortal. An unsuccessful one it seems. And Lucifer can never tell Maze, bound by his word. When Maze finds out, she just can’t let that go. Maze confronts Lilith, expecting…something, regret? But Lilith shows no remorse, taking pride in her decision, seemingly unaware of the pain it’s causing Maze. Lilith also doesn’t reveal to Maze why she wanted Mazikeen to be strong, the suffering she felt in the garden that Lucifer understood. So Maze remains unaware of what was behind that callousness.
Maze: I wanted to know why you abandoned us. Why you abandoned me.\ Lilith: I did it to make you strong, and it worked. Just look at you. I can see you don’t need anyone.\ Maze: Yeah, look at me. (Leaves)\ Lilith and Maze now that Maze knows. S5 E4

Maze: You were right. The abandonment stuff you talked about. Definitely her fault.\ Linda: You found your biological mother.\ Maze: Like I said, the bitch.\ Linda and Maze S5 E5.
S5 E5 directly answers the question S5 E3 raised, who is she? If there were any doubts remaining from S4 E4 that it’s Lilith, and not Eve, they are gone as Maze directly answers the question. Maze is firing the shots at Lilith and Linda finds herself trying to defend her as though it was her own history on the line, which for her, it feels like it. Lilith isn’t Linda though, and Maze cuts down each of Linda’s defenses: age, fear, and even the feelings the regret that can come afterward, as not even one of them describe Lilith. Linda confesses to what the season has been building towards for her arc, her confession to her guilt that would drive her to Hell, now that Maze is finally in a place for it to hit home. The reaction is not surprising, both are struck in a different vulnerable place at the same time, for Maze it’s anger and Linda it’s grief. Linda’s worst sin is currently Mazikeen’s sharpest pain. After the initial feelings subside, Maze is willing to listen as Linda confesses to the whole story, her regrets, and afterwards we discover what Maze was doing in the time after leaving Linda and before returning. She found Linda’s daughter as she is trying to sell a house. As they go to meet her, Mazikeen is putting Linda under fire as Linda holds up the pretense of being potential buyers. We’ve seen Maze employ such tactics before, such as with Dan after he slept with Goddess and indirectly gave Goddess information to use in court in S2 E10. Or with Amenadiel and Linda’s relationship with a double date in S3 E15. But Linda refuses to break, holding off Maze’s attempts to shatter the secret and accusing Mazikeen of using Linda as a substitute Lilith. Linda finally tells Maze to talk to Lilith, because that’s who Mazikeen seems to want to have more words with anyways, the two mothers are completely different people and trying to break down Linda’s story isn’t going to equate dealing with Lilith’s. But it’s too late, Mazikeen discovers Lilith is gone, and so are Maze’s chances at getting answers. After her anger passes, Maze finds the empathy at the end of her road in seeking her mother to try and help Linda avoid the same fate befall her daughter, giving Linda a release form to make it easier for her daughter to find Linda when she is ready to start that journey for herself.
Maze: You need to give your daughter the choice, ok? You have to.\ Linda: You saw your mother, didn’t you? What did you say to her?\ Maze: Nothing. I didn’t get to say that “I hate you.” I didn’t get to say that “I forgive you.” I didn’t get to say anything. Because she’s gone. She died, Linda.\ Linda and Maze as S5 E5 closes

Maze: So she died in a shitty apartment all by herself. Sucks for her. All I need to be is to not be her. So how do I do that? … How do I not end up alone?\ Linda: That is not an easy question to answer…You just have to find someone to connect with.\ Maze: I just scare everybody away.\ Linda: Well I’m still here, right? So you just know when you find someone that you’re romantically interested in, you just try not to be so scary. You know, be more open, emotionally available.\ Maze: “Emotionally available.” … Huh\ A Charlie-tired Linda helping Maze move forward, S5 E6
S5 E6 has Maze transition from her mother’s death in a more pragmatic, if less empathetic, state than she was in as S5 E5 closes. The goal set in S4 E7 with the discussion I mentioned at the very beginning continues. And this piece of advice is something Maze has no idea what to do with. As she mulls it over Ella catches her attention in her friendly fashion with other people. So, the question for Mazikeen is this. What does Ella have that she doesn’t? Tearing a page out of Lucifer’s book, Maze becomes Ella 2.0 with amusing results, trying to find the part of Ella that will help Maze find what she is looking for. This bit runs closer to an Ella arc. The lightness and comedy we see leads to Maze’s judgment on Ella’s own bad boy tendencies that push her towards trying a nicer guy, setting up the stage for our Whisper Killer arc. Maze realizes living Ella’s life just isn’t going to work. But it’s the closing lines to this arc that give Maze an answer to her question in Ella’s unintentional phrasing. Yet another page out of Lucifer’s book, pulling a message completely different from what the speaker intended by focusing on an aspect that seems relevant to them. Though in this Ella could never know how close to home that comment hits, as her words have unintended connections to celestial intent, as we saw with Ella’s chat with Chloe about absolute evil in S4 E7. The lack of a soul is a barrier Maze can’t cross as a demon. With Season 5 still incomplete the full implications that this began in starting Mazikeen’s soul searching arc are unknown.
Maze: You don’t think I’m scary?\ Ella: Oh, I think you are hella scary. But, it’s good scary, because it’s you. And I know, when you finally show someone how absolutely amazing you are, you’re going to find your soulmate.\ Maze: You can’t find a soulmate if you don’t have a soul.\ Ella and Maze after Maze gives up trying to be Ella. S5 E6

Maze: I had two rocks when I was growing up. One sharp, one not. Take the sharp one and try to stab things. Take the dull one, try to make it sharp.\ Amenadiel: That um… That explains a lot.\ Maze reprimanding Amenadiel on spoiling Charlie. S5 E7
S5 E7 has Maze unable to move past not having a soul, so she looks backwards instead. The humorous quote above undersells how bad Mazikeen’s life was in her unseen past in Hell, something that is easy to forget when we never see what things were like for the demon growing up. That history, and what she is as a demon, substantially limits her options for a partner. In going over S5 E1 there were 4 names Maze had a shot with given they knew she was a demon. Eve, Linda, Amenadiel, and Chloe. After her time with Linda led her to try something with Eve that didn’t work out, and Chloe is ruled out at the end of S5 E1, Maze looks back and realizes there is still one name left. Someone who hadn’t abandoned her, who knows her, and maybe could find a way to love her again. Amenadiel in Season 1. Mazikeen’s lack of a soul didn’t stop them from coming together in Season 1, and that Amenadiel seems like the perfect choice for her now. An Amenadiel free of obligation, untethered to the human world, that Amenadiel could save Maze from her fear of ending up alone like her mother. The dismissal Maze has of her mother in S5 E6 masked the fear Maze actually felt that she would end up just like her. She tries to introduce Amenadiel to his past self and rekindle what they had. But her attempts to rewind the clock are a pipe dream, failing for both of them. 27 shots into trying to forget, Maze finds herself asked about that event by Amenadiel. She confesses to the pain she is feeling, born a soulless demon by Lilith’s choice, and her hopes that an angel, or at least Amenadiel, could give her hope at not being alone. Amenadiel doesn’t have the answers, but he does have hope, looking back at all the unusual things going on around them, he believes Maze can find what she is looking for, whether that requires a soul or not.
Maze: Everyone’s rejected me, Amenadiel. But I was the one who rejected you. So, I thought… maybe that was a mistake. Maybe… Maybe only… an angel could love a soulless demon.\ Amenadiel: You didn’t reject me. You… You went to find your own path. And you did. You did. And you’ve come such a long way, Maze. Grown so much.\ Maze: Apparently not enough. Ever heard of a demon getting a soul?\ Amenadiel: I…I can’t say that I have. But… No one ever heard of an angel and a human having a baby before. Or of the devil falling in love. I don’t know if a soul is what you need to feel whole, but…I do know this. If anyone is going to find what they’re looking for, it’s you, Mazikeen.\ Amenadiel reassuring Maze. S5 E7.

Maze: So, have you ever heard of a demon getting a soul?\ Lucifer: [scoffs] Of course not. That’s impossible.\ Maze: Yeah, um… I’ve heard that all my life. Then again, you did fall in love. Amenadiel had a baby with a human. There’s a first for everything, right?\ Lucifer: Well that’s different. We’re angels. You’re just a demon.\ Lucifer crushes Maze’s hopes. S5 E8.
S5 E8 has Maze still digging into souls when Lucifer is calling her. Amenadiel was going to help but finds Charlie’s 101 temperature too concerning for a part angel to have, and upon seeing Maze not responding to Lucifer’s call, he suggests that she tell Lucifer that she’s upset with him about hiding Lilith from her. Upon getting Lucifer’s call she hurries to help, torturing the fake Whisper Killer to give him the tips about stalking restaurants targeting talkative women, giving her time for a brief glance at the ring, which gets to her. Maze isn’t going to let that stop her from helping Lucifer, and as he discovers his mojo is back and uses it to find surveillance, Maze asks him what he thinks of her chances of getting a soul, inserting Amenadiel’s own words on the matter within her question. Lucifer brusquely dismisses them, justifying the firsts as unique to angels, something Maze could never achieve, being just a demon. Despite this Maze still helps find Chloe. She’s the one who connects the dots to Michael, she’s the one who finds and brings in Dan, and she’s one of the two people to come with Lucifer when he rescues Chloe. Their reunion is yet another reminder of something Lucifer has that Maze doesn’t, a soul. Maze stays behind to confront Michael for kidnapping Chloe. Mazikeen has been fighting her fears, but fear is Michael’s element, and he has used it to strike at everyone, and Mazikeen’s fears of ending up alone, driven by the secret Michael helped reveal, has set up his offer perfectly. He can get her a soul if his plans work. So Maze decides to go with him, blocking Amenadiel’s swing at Michael. Lucifer is confused, and Mazikeen reminds him of what he said to her about the impossibility of getting a soul because she’s “just a demon”. His confirmation of that was the last thing he got to say before she attacked. During their confrontation Maze reveals her discovering Lucifer’s secret about Lilith and foreshadows another potential issue. How important Maze is to Lucifer, a query that has occasionally cropped up. Without seeing the next episode, it’s hard to say how much of a role this will have to play, as Lucifer brings her down soon after that.
Lucifer: Maze. Why are you defending him?\ Maze: Because he promised me a soul!\ Lucifer: [Laughs] That’s impossible.\ Maze: Why? Because I’m just a demon*?*\ Lucifer: Exactly.\ Maze: [yells and kicks Lucifer through glass] Get up. We’re not done.\ Maze confronts Lucifer in S5 E8

The episodes of Season 5A came down with a consistent arc for Mazikeen. They began by continuing where Maze left off in her partnership goals suggested in S4 E7 from Eve having left her in S4 E10, and Chloe as the natural next step of that for S5 E1. Chloe’s rejection did not surprise us, but it burned Maze, especially when attached to what happened in Season 4. This allowed Michael to convince her to work with him in S5 E2, to a point. Why Maze felt such a strong reaction to both Lucifer leaving her and Chloe rejecting her is what S5 E3 sought to answer. A fear of abandonment rooted somewhere likely in her youth. But who? S5 E4 gives us Lilith as the answer. S5 E5 built on that revelation as Maze put that anger on Linda when Linda’s own secret made her an easy target, but Maze eventually chose to do right by Linda when her own journey was cut short by Lilith’s death. Faced with the fears of ending up alone. Maze looked for answers to change her own fate in S5 E6 and determined that a soul is what she both needed and lacked. This belief led her to desperately look back for any answer that could save her, and she unsuccessfully tried to get Amenadiel to revert to what she needed to the disappointment of them both in S5 E7. Still, Amenadiel gave her hope afterwards, and she fought for that hope in S5 E8, keeping her anger in check while Chloe was kidnapped. But when she stayed to confront Michael, he blew it all open when he offered her what she thinks she needed, and she let it all out in her confrontation with Lucifer, how he kept Lilith from her, his dismissal of her as a demon, and possibly a larger issue with how he looked down on her in general. (Flashback to what Mazikeen wanted from Lucifer by the end of S2 E4, she gave up getting his convertible just to have him pour her a drink.) What Michael’s exact offer was, Lucifer’s perception of Maze and how her opinion of it fueled this conflict, these are things that we won’t know the full story about without seeing Season 5B. We will be hearing more about Mazikeen’s arc, and we will almost certainly get information on what made her betray Lucifer again. I think her case will be stronger than it was for S5 E2 now that she knows herself better, and it will expand upon the same problems we saw her face here. But only time will tell. Their last words to each other as Season 5a comes to a close gives us some idea of where they might carry on with Mazikeen's frustrations, especially with Lucifer.
Lucifer: Why would you ever trust Michael? He’s a liar!\ Maze: He’s only ever been honest with me. You… You hid my mother from me.\ Lucifer: How did you – (Fight interrupts) I’m sorry Maze, but I gave Lilith my word.\ Maze: Which is apparently more important to you than I am!\ Lucifer: What?\ Lucifer and Maze fighting. S5 E8
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2020.09.19 13:52 beesling My university told me to keep quiet about my assault or they would expel me (CA)

Here’s the super long background story: I reported someone for “dating violence” (my Christian university’s cute term for rape) in 2014 and life completely sucked immediately after, but I was making good progress recovering mentally and emotionally. The school did an investigation and found this person guilty, and their punishment was to write an essay (LOL). This person retaliated by sending screenshots of a blog post I wrote about a panic attack I had and claimed I was cyber-bullying them. (I would like to note that the blog post did not include this person’s name at all, and I had blocked them from being able to see my account, so it’s wild that anyone could have interpreted it as cyber-bullying). The school’s student conduct officer (the same person I reported my assault to, ironically) told me that if I talked about my situation again I would be expelled. Following that conversation and threat of expulsion, my mental health took a nosedive and I stopped going to class and to work, had to drop out, and years later, I am still battling PTSD and depression that impacts every part of my life.
So, does anyone know if I have any legal recourse here? Is it too late? I have $30k in student loans from a school that I feel assisted in retaliation. Is there some exception to the 2-year statute for emotional distress? I think I might just need closure that it’s too late to take legal action against my old university, but I have still been holding on to hope that there is still some action I can take.
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2020.09.18 22:49 Miserable-Buddy-4001 What to do about jealous "fake boyfriend"?

Hello. I (23M) met my girlfriend Samantha (not real name)(27F) online 2 months ago. We are both gamers. I live in a large west coast city while she's on a small island, so we're LDR. We both live with parents. She's had a few boyfriends while this is my first relationship. When we first met, she was "dating" Jeff (not real name). She revealed to me that Jeff and her are really only friends and started to pretend to date because Jeff's mother threatened to cut him off and kick him out unless he dates her. It had to be specifically someone from a family with lots of land, which Samantha was already friends with him and fit the bill. Jeff's mom was the only person he had and couldn't deal with losing her, so he asked Samantha to at least pretend to date him. Samantha is easily convinced to help people and agrees. They hang out normally and pretend to social media and parents that they're dating. Samantha also benefited by not being asked out when she didn't want to, and making her parents happy she's dating. Jeff was also a great friend to her helping her clean her house that she's made deep clean weekly by parents by carrying stuff. He also was there for her when her parent got diagnosed with cancer and they both helped each other pay for food when they were jobless at different times. They were great friends other than Jeff's anger problems, but did nothing couple wise. Jeff is usually a cool guy, but is hot headed.
She later gave me many hints to try to get me to ask her out, but I don't recognize them. She eventually literally tells me her feelings. I had feelings too and accepted, but showed concern for Jeff. I said I don't want anything without confirming the story with Jeff and that he's ok with it. He confirmed and said he'd be happy for us. We started dating.
It was fine for a few weeks, but we found out Jeff did actually start to feel emotions towards Samantha and was not fine with it. At least once or twice a week, Samantha would vent to me that Jeff yelled at her objecting us dating. He even said racist things about me. He said that she's making him upset all the time. He screamed cuss words at top of lungs at her and called her many names after any mentions of me or just randomly. He showed up at her house yelling at her that she's hurting him and is many words. Also that she is to break up with me in 2 months and date him or they're no longer friends. He later apologized to us that he was encouraged to "fight for her back" by a usually bad with relationships friend of theirs. Samantha said she'd choose me over him, but also didn't want to lose Jeff as a friend because of the help he given her in the past. Two of her friends Allison, Donald and her all agreed that If we just give it time, Jeff will get over the feelings of the fake relationship feeling real to him. I agreed and was patient just trying to comfort her every time she's upset at being yelled at. I told her I trust whatever her judgement is because I didn't want to tell her who to not talk to.
Well everything is fine with him for a week and a half. Then one day, she hangs out with a friend. Jeff gets upset she didn't hang out with him and tells her she's making him drink to not be upset. He gets really drunk, then later shows up at her house and screams many mean things at her like "she's a failure and will never be loved". He calls all her friends and me bad words. She tries to tell her off, but he holds onto her wrist and slaps her. He threatens to have After yelling more, he goes up to her parents and say she's been cheating on him for a year, which isn't even true as they weren't really dating, and her and I have only dated for 2 months. He then says that he's no longer friends with her, me, or the other friends. She is crying telling it to me. She's very emotional saying the things he said is true and that she wants to die. She has bad thoughts and that she might go back to cutting herself "to distract herself from emotional pain". I make her promise to not do that and get criticised from her friends saying I'm taking away her one source of relief. I recommended taking walks and even holding an ice cube to focus on the cold. I learned the ice thing from a quick Google search since I really didn't want her to harm herself. I knew she had a history but had not done it for long time.
I'm very upset and in the moment say she should consider cutting him off. I obviously hate that my girlfriend got assaulted. I ask to remove him from our discord servers. Friends convince her to invite him back. They criticised me for saying to do that because they say they need to make sure he's ok and that if he gets cut off, he could retaliate since their island is small. They also reassure me that Jeff is done with her and will no longer be a problem. He comes on discord server next day as if nothing happened the day before, but not talking to Samantha much. This makes no sense to me. I later point out to the other two friends and Samantha that he's obviously not done with them all if he is on the server as if nothing happened. Her friends and I get into argument about. They say it won't happen again and I pointed out they said that the last 3 times and that he now escalated to violence. They point out he said he was done with her. I responded that what he said doesn't make it true. They say that they have to consider Jeff's feelings. I said I believed that too until he got violent. They say they can't just cut him off completely. I say then just spend some time apart to let Jeff cool off. They argue that I'm not understanding emotions very well and am only thinking about facts and that I'm not thinking about Jeff's feelings. I said I get his feelings, but he crossed the line slapping her. Though here's where I don't get it.
I focused on the fact of the matter that the relationship was fake and that he said he was fine with us dating. I said that it doesn't mean it's real if he believed it was. The fact was he asked for the fake relationship, and I think he should have kept his emotions in check if it's fake and his idea. I realize that's sometimes hard. They only focus on how he feels that it was real, but do acknowledge the facts. Samantha keeps blaming herself for everything and I try to tell her she shouldn't based on the facts, but she says she feels it is. I've learned over the month that Samantha is a bit sensitive and will take anything mean said to her to heart and will believe it is her fault. She's been telling me she caused it and deserved it all and I cannot convince her she didn't.
I'm feeling really annoyed having to keep comforting her just for her to let the problem happen again. I also feel that she's in a way letting her friends decide for her and ignoring me. It makes no sense to me for Jeff to slap her and say he's done, but act normal the next day. Maybe he just wants to game with someone? I don't know, but I'm tired of it. I also think there could be big city vs small island culture difference. I hope I'm not being insensitive. They were close together, and people have argued Jeff thought it was real, and that I seem like a homewrecker.
What should I do? This is bothering me and I don't think it's a good environment. I also don't think her friends have her best interest in heart as they seem to me to not influence her positively due to many other reasons. (Encouraging self harm, often saying mean things to put her down, encouraging bad behaviors that will harm her, wishing her parent a painful death because that don't like her parents) Are there too many red flags? Should I end it? Should I try to just keep supporting her? Should I try to think emotionally rather than logically? I feel like I want to help her.
TL;DR: girlfriend's fake boyfriend from while ago is jealous of our relationship because it felt real to him. Girlfriend won't do anything about his abuse.
submitted by Miserable-Buddy-4001 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 17:42 Seamus5150 Update: I need to send a letter of thanks to Dyson. I discovered my wife (49F) of 17 years, 18 month affair when I updated our fan filter on the app it uses.

Original Post link. I apologize as it was poorly written and contextualized, as I was inebriated most of that Thursday.
https://www.reddit.com/survivinginfidelity/comments/iqrtds/i_43m_need_to_send_a_letter_of_thanks_to_dyson_i/
So... I have received nearly 1,000 requests for some type of update or information on what's going on in my pain and hate filled life. Per my new therapist, he said to go ahead and do it. It will help me re-center and focus.
To those that kept saying "ThaT's NoT HoW SnApChAt WoRkS" Yes, you are correct, she had that running in the background, it was Whats app. I don't really give a shit, I saw it. I again need to thank Dyson for their app and the kick ass fan I got from my Brother in law for Christmas.
Here goes.
I'm going to give a deeper background on our situation to help with some perspective on why I feel the way I do. My original post was pretty much a stream of consciousness and felt as disjointed as I did then.
I went to college in Las Vegas in the mid '90's. I graduated in 1999. I had a blast there. I "Got Around" (Fucked) It was during this formative time I decided to never marry, it was/is an outdated concept that essentially removes your agency, and, I definitely did NOT want children.
When I graduated with my degree in Nursing, I quickly excelled in Cardiovascular Intensive Care. I moved home to Texas in 2001 and pursued my Masters Degree to be an Advanced Practice RN/ Nurse Practitioner with a specialization in CV Surgery. While I was achieving this, I decided to pursue medical school and shifted course work to fill in what I needed to apply. It was then that I met my STBXW. She was a short chubby (I believe the kids today would say THICC) red headed fire cracker. We met in a code. It was intense; both the attraction and the "Dating." We were saying I LOVE YOU within 3 months...
She was a mother of two (Remember, I wanted to be child free) that had been divorced for about 2 years. She was just getting out of an on again off again relationship when we met. We "Dated" for about 2 years and she slowly introduced her daughters to me age (11,6). She sat me down one night and gave me a pretty heartfelt but pragmatic talk about "Us" or where we were at the time, and what she needed/expected from me, or any other partner. Essentially she said it was time to either get married or move on. I was still pretty anti-marriage and she respected that. She was telling me this to give me a chance to think about "Us" and what the future looked like. She had a pretty good point in that we were living together (8 months) and even had each other as persons to notify in an emergency, she joked, that all that was missing was having each other on our insurance. It was a good honest talk and we agreed that we would continue on for a bit more, but, I would ultimately have to make "The Decision."
2 weeks later, I had an acceptance letter to a Medical school about 2 hours away. I was extatic and crushed at the same time. I had just had my 26th Birthday and was about to accomplish a huge life goal! Then I realized I'd never see her or the girls. My self doubt got the better of me. Being a medical student, then resident, with a fellowship was going to be a roughly 7 year process, all the while, I could not make the money or support the lifestyle we had grown accustomed to. I thought about the prospect of at least 7 years of loans, debt, and work, and losing her...
So I declined and switched back to a Masters in Nursing Administration.
We got married in July of 2003 it was an intimate and personal ceremony with just immediate family and friends.
---While my parents adore the girls (Rightly so) they have always been stand-offish with STBXW. On Monday when I told my parents what was happening, and, that there was a real possibility the girls could stop being as prevalent in their life as they have been, they told me that they felt that STBXW was damaged goods being married prior to and "Forcing me to compromise." That really hit home, and to a certain extent they were/are correct.---
After I graduated I didn't want to be a manager or director. I'm a hands on guy that likes taking care of patients. The hospital I was at offered a certification in ECMO and a Perfusionist credential. It was a highly competitive application, but I got in. For the past 11 years, I have been doing ECMO and all things related. I have had a blast and it has been challenging as well as heartbreaking at times.
My STBXW decided about 5 years ago that being an RN on the floor had run its course and she wanted a more 9 to 5 job that did not involve patients or drama. She got on through a friend at a multi-state legal consultancy that specializes in medical legal suites. She abstracts data from patient charts and presents it in the manner requested.
So that's the set up.
On Saturday morning DDay+2: I only slept a few hours. I had dark, disturbing thoughts regarding my future and life. I had (Still do) thoughts and scenarios of death and violence upon them and myself...
I was in the kitchen making breakfast, eggs and toast, when she walked into the kitchen still bleary eyed. She asked if I would make her some... I threw it in the trash in front of her. I then proceeded to load up my record player and play music from my youth at an uncomfortable volume to prevent her from trying to talk to me. (Real mature I know). I began Pain Shopping big time, reading the print out in chronological order. I do and I don't recommend it, by the afternoon I was done with Blackflag and Danzig, I was listening to torch / break up songs by Chris Isaak and Ray Lamontagne. She approached again. This time she was almost indignant. Asking what purpose notifying the AP's wife served. I stared at her for what felt like an inappropriate amount of time, a bit dumb founded. I told her point blank that at least she (AP's wife) would get the chance to make an informed decision about her future instead of compromising and sacrificing for someone that would betray them so selfishly. I guess my message to the AP's wife was received and things were not good for him. She sat down on the couch and began to tear up and sob. I told her I was cried out, or more correctly I was so numb that I will do that later, when I am done doing what needs to be done. She asked timidly, all indignation / bravado gone from her voice, what else I "Had to do?" I told her to ruin your life and give you the pain I have now. I told her that if she had ANY respect for me or "Love" for me, she would open her phone and show me EVERYTHING. She refused and said that it didn't matter and all I would do is hold it against her. I said, there was a part of me, the completionist in me, that wanted to know. She refused and went to the guest bedroom. I found her HR, new hire paperwork from her company. They have a corporate compliance line and I called and left a detailed message. They (STBXW and AP) had discussed client information that also had protected health information with an unsecured, non-approved messaging system. I also informed them that she was his acting supervisor on 2 projects over a certain time that corresponds with the sexually inappropriate messages. Lastly I said that they both used their subsidized phones to transmit pornographic materials (Pics, sexting, videos.) That was a big no no as well.
My whole life, I have viewed myself as a peaceful and rational man. This has broken that part of me. I don't know where all of this anger has come from, I am somewhat worried. Like, will it stop. I know in the long run, to "Get over this" I will have to accept her apology and forgive her for her mistakes...I just don't know if I am capable, and it is worrying to me.
That evening I continued to notify family and friends of the situation and her actions. I called a physician friend and requested a favor for a checkup and an STD check. He had questions, I answered. My eyes got heavy around 8.
Sunday DDay+3: I decided to drive to see the girls. They are about 3 hours away. The youngest is still in college for another semester (maybe longer, thanks 2020.)
I have been having pretty extreme feelings about them since this began. I have formed a respectful, friendly relationship with them, but not much of a "Fatherly" one. The oldest especially. We are cordial, but, there is always that "Your NOT my dad" vibe between us. The youngest, not so much, but, when they are together, it gets more prevalent. I left early Sunday around 5 AM, arrived at their condo (Their father pays for it) just after 845. I had Kolaches and good coffee for them. They were immediately worried about their mother before I said anything. I told them point blank the situation and that their mother would probably be moving in the next 3 to 6 months. I can honestly say it was best to do and say this in person. I told them EVERYTHING. They were disappointed in her. I then told them that I wasn't there to get them to take a side, but, they were adults in a special circumstance within our relationship, and if they decided they didn't want to interact or have a relationship with me that was OK, I would be somewhat let down, but also relieved. I told them however, that our relationship or lack thereof should not interfere with their grandparents (My parents.) They both agreed that they would like to definitely keep in touch with the grandparents. I left there around 11 and headed home. I stopped at my best friends house and cried a little... I had essentially help to raise them as best I could. Their father was absentee most of their childhood and started another family 6 hours away. My best friend decided that I had drank enough the past 72 hours, and I needed to sleep. I crashed at his place that night. I had noticed STBXW had been blowing my phone up after I had left the girls place. Oh well, I was too tired and in too dark a place to care.
Monday DDay+4: I arrived home around 8 and noticed her Porsche was still there... I thought for a moment that she Uber'd or Waze'd to the airport. No, no she had not. She was up and had breakfast made, she asked me to sit down and eat with her. I did. She asked how it tasted, I told her like static. I told her I've had a hard time tasting and feeling anything other than bitterness and anger, for the past 5 days... She had called in "Sick" at work, and did not leave for her quarterly meeting. She tried to start talking about how worried she was for me and that she loved me so much. She had gotten a call from her oldest yesterday around noon and they were deeply disturbed by her behavior. I laughed... as I did it, I realized it was not a funny laugh. It had a manic kind of feel to it and took me aback. I said Oh, you "Love" me so much you have a year and a half affair behind my back. You "Love" me so much you fuck some other married man. You "Love" me so much you pissed away nearly half of my life because... She had never given me a reason as to why she did it. I told her that, and it made it so much worse. I went to the liquor service and pulled out "The Bottle."
---"The Bottle" was an 18 year Glenfiddich that my grandfather bought for "Us" when we got married. It has been/was our tradition to have a small sip on our anniversary night and remember that things get better with time and patience.---
I chugged the remainder of it. It was about a third of the bottle that was left. I said, sorry I didn't offer her any, because she did NOT deserve any. I went to the bedroom and began pulling all of the pictures off of the wall that had us or her in them. I placed them on the kitchen table. She had left. My attorney or rather her paralegal called to notify me the Petition for Divorce was ready, and I needed to sign off on it before it could be filed and STBXW would be served within 10 business days. I read it quickly, while VERY buzzed on premium Scotch. E-Signed and pressed send. I also got a message from the AP's wife. She reluctantly thanked me for this "Horrible but good revelation." She declined to speak with me, but wanted to message me to tell me. She found texts and videos with other women besides my STBXW. She kicked him out, and was going to an attorney soon. (They live in California, he's fucked.) I proceeded to listen to music and have a few more drinks. I fell asleep around 4 in the afternoon. I heard her come home around 10, she saw the pile of pictures and things that had at one time meant "Something" to "Us." She began sobbing and asking me to talk to her, I only asked one question "Why?" She kept saying she didn't know. I called her vile things and said that she made SO many decisions to get to just the first text. It was she that started it. I was pretty loose with my tounge due to being drunk. I laughed at her and started taking off my clothes and said you threw away this pointing to my body, (I'm going to get shit for it, but, I'm 6'4" and weigh 200#, up until last week I still jogged and lifted weights 4 times a week) for some pot bellied needle dick guy that wasn't going to do anything for her. I went to my room and had a shower. When I got out, she was in the bed naked. She had lit some candles and begged me to fuck her. I turned on my camera and told her to repeat what she said (I thank everyone who mentioned doing this, just in case) For whatever reason, my erection did not do a good job of convincing her that I didn't want to. So, I did it. I was NOT kind. I put her in uncomfortable positions and pounded her. I told her I wanted anal, and I wanted to hear her beg me for it. I recorded it ALL. I felt so many mixed emotions after. I love her, and I am indifferent to her, I hate her, and I think nothing of her. I want her and feel like I need her, but It hurts me to think of "Us" anymore. We fell asleep together. I woke up kind of hung over and had a hard time looking at myself in the mirror.
Tuesday DDay+5: Therapy was a 2 and a half hour session, unbeknownst to me, she followed me there and wanted to know what I was doing. I told her I was getting some therapy for the emotional trauma I had after realizing I had thrown away most of my life on someone who couldn't even give me a reason as to why she would cheat on me. I was a little loud and teary eyed. My soon to be new therapist saw most of the exchange. I called her horrible names and told her I wished her dead. Needless to say my session was intense. He prescribed some sedatives for me and I had another shorter appointment scheduled on Thursday. We discussed my anger and betrayal, my emasculation, my fear of the future. I explained I am terrified of the unknown. Last week I felt like a complete man. I had a vision and goals, I also had a partner to deal with any issues and obstacles. Now, I am a ship without a rudder, or mast. I feel no sense of direction, or power, or means to get away from this. He started explaining the "Why" that I wanted to know. It isn't a single question. It is a series of questions that is pretty interesting. I suppose you can apply it to any behavior that you want to explain the motivation behind it. He said instead I should calmly ask my STBXW, what within herself gave her permission to do this to me. There were several more to follow up with, but, this is what stuck out the most. I told him about the sex, he recommended that I lay out explicit ground rules regarding our physical relationship. He ultimately recommended that I don't do it anymore, it would confuse and exacerbate things tremendously, unless reconciliation was my goal. I cried, I raged. I left exhausted. STBXW was still outside waiting for me. I walked past her and didn't respond to her questions and pleading. I got a call from the physician's office to get tested and went to that appointment. I told him the short version. He recommended to stop drinking and take the sedatives cautiously. I went home and proceeded to continue removing my things from the house and boxing them up. I have decided I would move out. I called work and requested a face to face meeting. The thought of working, or concentrating on legitimate life and death issues is not possible in my current state of mind. I drove to the Administrative building at the hospital, met with the team and formally gave my 6 weeks resignation. I have such a niche, specialized job that 6 weeks is kind of a minimum courtesy. I put it succinctly that my STBXW's actions had caused a stressful home life, and I would be a detriment to patients, the team, and myself if I continued to remain in this area. I have decided to move away. Far away. I got home after picking up some groceries. It has been about a week since I have had more than a mouthful of food and have existed on liquor and not much else. I took both my therapists, and physician friends' advice and decided to make some food and stop drinking. She was home, sitting in the darkened living room drinking wine. She had organized the pictures and was looking through them. She had put on makeup and was wearing a "Date Night" dress. She had been crying alot. her makeup was in bad shape. She got up and tried to embrace me. I pushed her gently away and made a production of pulling out my phone and hitting record. She started crying again. She told me the AP's wife had called her and told her that he had had other women as well as her. She said that she was so much the fool and every derogatory name I had called her was right. She begged me to consider "Us." I said why bother, she didn't when she betrayed me. I told her I was sorry that her lies caught her out, but I felt that she was sorry she got caught, not remorseful for what she did to me. I told her I felt she was sorry that she was going to have to start over and that she was more upset about that, than losing any "Love" she had for me. I said that she abandoned her "Love" for me or "Us" 2 YEARS ago when she decided to do this. I kept piling it on her. I informed her of my call to the Corporate Compliance line and the specific rules she broke. I didn't raise my voice or act angry. I was shaking a bit, but it was like everything was leaving me in a rush. I felt elated and so low at the same time. I felt empty when I was done. I put up the few groceries I had bought and made a small sandwich, then went to bed. She was there again. I pulled out my phone and told her with the recorder going what my therapist had talked about in regards to sex. Keep in mind in 17 years, I can not recall a time when I've refused or declined sex from her. I asked her to leave and sleep in the guest bedroom. She refused. I said, fine, I would then.
Wednesday DDay+6: I woke up and she was curled up next to me. I removed myself and did some light exercises. I have been working on my resume and getting applications out. I might be working in Seattle by the end of the year! I love my parents and will miss being 20 minutes away from them, especially as they are becoming elderly. I can't stay in this city. The thought of "Running into" her after this is over is not something I want to entertain. I want to be free, and have NO reminders of my sense of loss and my lifetime of compromise. It was a pretty blah day and it rained off and on for most of it. I met up with my best friend and gave him a rundown over an early dinner. We decided not to drink. My attorney said that me moving away will not affect the outcome of the financials. I am going to live off my PTO until the end of October, and use my half of our liquid savings to relocate and settle. I feel empty and I am trying to laugh at his funny jokes, but it's an effort. I keep finding myself in a deep emptiness that has such a powerful pull. I have never thought about ending my own life, but for the past few days/nights I've had "Daydreams'' of what it would be like if I wasn't here. I am going to tell my therapist tomorrow. STBXW has been going to the library (I've been watching through Google) and reading relationship books. I have been reading Chump Lady. It is great stuff. She got a call from her work. I eavesdropped on a small portion of it, but I know she has a meeting tomorrow, despite her claiming to be "Sick." She was in bed again just like the past few nights. I am so conflicted, I just want to feel something, but I feel so little but hate and resentment for her, that the only sex I want is sadistic. I'll admit that during the abusive sex we had Monday I felt almost a runners high, but, there was a crash, and the next day I was angry at myself. I am doubting myself a small amount in regards to not wanting her back. I know she fucked up huge, but I don't know if I can forget it, or forgive it. I am a tangled mess. I told her the ground rules, with my phone recording, in regard to sex. I told her that it did NOT indicate reconciliation, or some covert signal that I wanted that. I told her this is probably hysterical bonding and not healthy. I told her that I was going to not be gentle nor care about her feelings or needs during it. She was teary eyed, and nodded understanding. She quietly said that she "Deserved it." She then rolled over and got on all 4's.
Thursday DDay+7: I woke up with her spooning me. I laid there for a while and heard her breathing change pattern. I could feel her looking at me. I asked with my back turned what her meeting was going to be about? She said it was an HR representitive and it was probably going to be bad. I said yup. She asked what she could do to make us right or equal again. I said nothing. She offered an open marriage on my end, she would not persue anyone, but I could. I chuckled, no. I don't trust her. She said that was fair. We had this conversation with my back to her, it was easier than looking at her. I get mad when I see her face. I asked what I did in this marriage that made her so unhappy she did this. She said I was beyond great. I chuckled again, well obviously that dosent matter. She said it was an adventure, like she lived off of the rush, she didn't realize until it was way too late that if she got caught or if something went wrong everyone would be hurt, she said it was a huge relief and an unforgettable pain when I confronted her. I got up and made us breakfast. I went to my therapist and told him my plan with work and already had responses to my applications. I told him everything about STBXW and the sex. We discussed my suicdal thoughts and talked about the process invlved with them. Again, he wasn't judging; he just wanted me to not get confused, or if I did not understand to stop and process. It was only a 1 hour (55 minute) session and I felt that weird calm again. Like nothing matters for now. everything just is. When I got home she was sitting in the living room. She told me that she was fired for breach of protocol with client information and violation of the data security protocols. I said, well that's too bad. I exercised and made a nice dinner, she joined me. We did'nt say much. While we were sitting in the living room she told me that AP had been fired as well. I said good. She told me she has had no contact with him in 5 days. I asked why not? They were both free now. She could fly out to her "Soul Mate" and have all the fun they wanted now. She said I was the only one she wanted. I said NO, you had me ALL of me, and it still was'nt enough. I told her that in the nearly 20 years of work, and our relationship, I had been approached and hit on too many times to count. I managed to not fall in love or fuck anyone else, now, I am so bitter and angry because of the compromises I made. She asked what compromises. I told her. My wanting to go to medical school, but decided to get married and be stable, my not wanting children, but, because they were a part of her, I accepted them and compromised. I said I made those compromises for our love. But, obviously I had misplaced my trust and love in her. I told her that if I could go back in time, I would tell 26 year old me to pass her up. She asked again what she could do to bring us back together. I told her that I will not EVER compromise for her again and that means we really can't have a healthy relationship. I told her I would NEVER love her again, and that at best, I would treat her like a sex toy. Otherwise, she would'nt factor into my plans or thoughts. I told her it was just a week ago, she was the first person I thought of when I woke up, and the last person I thought about when I went to sleep. Now it hurts too much to think about her.
I am going to walk away from this. I feel like it is starting to constantly remind me of things. I can not thank those kind people I could chat with and who shared their pain and stories that have helped me. This has been on a whole, a good thing for me to do, but I keep replaying things and feelings I'd rather just walk away from. I remain confused about what I want. I don't know if I will ever be 100% about anything with Her ever again. I have bi-weekly appointments for the next 4 weeks with my therapist.
submitted by Seamus5150 to survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 17:36 Seamus5150 Update: I (43M) need to send a letter of thanks to Dyson. I discovered my wife (49) of 17 years, 18 month affair when I updated our fan filter on the app it uses

Original Post link. I apologize as it was poorly written and contextualized, as I was inebriated most of that Thursday.
https://www.reddit.com/survivinginfidelity/comments/iqrtds/i_43m_need_to_send_a_letter_of_thanks_to_dyson_i/
So... I have received nearly 1,000 requests for some type of update or information on what's going on in my pain and hate filled life. Per my new therapist, he said to go ahead and do it. It will help me re-center and focus.
To those that kept saying "ThaT's NoT HoW SnApChAt WoRkS" Yes, you are correct, she had that running in the background, it was Whats app. I don't really give a shit, I saw it. I again need to thank Dyson for their app and the kick ass fan I got from my Brother in law for Christmas.
Here goes.
I'm going to give a deeper background on our situation to help with some perspective on why I feel the way I do. My original post was pretty much a stream of consciousness and felt as disjointed as I did then.
I went to college in Las Vegas in the mid '90's. I graduated in 1999. I had a blast there. I "Got Around" (Fucked) It was during this formative time I decided to never marry, it was/is an outdated concept that essentially removes your agency, and, I definitely did NOT want children.
When I graduated with my degree in Nursing, I quickly excelled in Cardiovascular Intensive Care. I moved home to Texas in 2001 and pursued my Masters Degree to be an Advanced Practice RN/ Nurse Practitioner with a specialization in CV Surgery. While I was achieving this, I decided to pursue medical school and shifted course work to fill in what I needed to apply. It was then that I met my STBXW. She was a short chubby (I believe the kids today would say THICC) red headed fire cracker. We met in a code. It was intense; both the attraction and the "Dating." We were saying I LOVE YOU within 3 months...
She was a mother of two (Remember, I wanted to be child free) that had been divorced for about 2 years. She was just getting out of an on again off again relationship when we met. We "Dated" for about 2 years and she slowly introduced her daughters to me age (11,6). She sat me down one night and gave me a pretty heartfelt but pragmatic talk about "Us" or where we were at the time, and what she needed/expected from me, or any other partner. Essentially she said it was time to either get married or move on. I was still pretty anti-marriage and she respected that. She was telling me this to give me a chance to think about "Us" and what the future looked like. She had a pretty good point in that we were living together (8 months) and even had each other as persons to notify in an emergency, she joked, that all that was missing was having each other on our insurance. It was a good honest talk and we agreed that we would continue on for a bit more, but, I would ultimately have to make "The Decision."
2 weeks later, I had an acceptance letter to a Medical school about 2 hours away. I was extatic and crushed at the same time. I had just had my 26th Birthday and was about to accomplish a huge life goal! Then I realized I'd never see her or the girls. My self doubt got the better of me. Being a medical student, then resident, with a fellowship was going to be a roughly 7 year process, all the while, I could not make the money or support the lifestyle we had grown accustomed to. I thought about the prospect of at least 7 years of loans, debt, and work, and losing her...
So I declined and switched back to a Masters in Nursing Administration.
We got married in July of 2003 it was an intimate and personal ceremony with just immediate family and friends.
---While my parents adore the girls (Rightly so) they have always been stand-offish with STBXW. On Monday when I told my parents what was happening, and, that there was a real possibility the girls could stop being as prevalent in their life as they have been, they told me that they felt that STBXW was damaged goods being married prior to and "Forcing me to compromise." That really hit home, and to a certain extent they were/are correct.---
After I graduated I didn't want to be a manager or director. I'm a hands on guy that likes taking care of patients. The hospital I was at offered a certification in ECMO and a Perfusionist credential. It was a highly competitive application, but I got in. For the past 11 years, I have been doing ECMO and all things related. I have had a blast and it has been challenging as well as heartbreaking at times.
My STBXW decided about 5 years ago that being an RN on the floor had run its course and she wanted a more 9 to 5 job that did not involve patients or drama. She got on through a friend at a multi-state legal consultancy that specializes in medical legal suites. She abstracts data from patient charts and presents it in the manner requested.
So that's the set up.
On Saturday morning DDay+2: I only slept a few hours. I had dark, disturbing thoughts regarding my future and life. I had (Still do) thoughts and scenarios of death and violence upon them and myself...
I was in the kitchen making breakfast, eggs and toast, when she walked into the kitchen still bleary eyed. She asked if I would make her some... I threw it in the trash in front of her. I then proceeded to load up my record player and play music from my youth at an uncomfortable volume to prevent her from trying to talk to me. (Real mature I know). I began Pain Shopping big time, reading the print out in chronological order. I do and I don't recommend it, by the afternoon I was done with Blackflag and Danzig, I was listening to torch / break up songs by Chris Isaak and Ray Lamontagne. She approached again. This time she was almost indignant. Asking what purpose notifying the AP's wife served. I stared at her for what felt like an inappropriate amount of time, a bit dumb founded. I told her point blank that at least she (AP's wife) would get the chance to make an informed decision about her future instead of compromising and sacrificing for someone that would betray them so selfishly. I guess my message to the AP's wife was received and things were not good for him. She sat down on the couch and began to tear up and sob. I told her I was cried out, or more correctly I was so numb that I will do that later, when I am done doing what needs to be done. She asked timidly, all indignation / bravado gone from her voice, what else I "Had to do?" I told her to ruin your life and give you the pain I have now. I told her that if she had ANY respect for me or "Love" for me, she would open her phone and show me EVERYTHING. She refused and said that it didn't matter and all I would do is hold it against her. I said, there was a part of me, the completionist in me, that wanted to know. She refused and went to the guest bedroom. I found her HR, new hire paperwork from her company. They have a corporate compliance line and I called and left a detailed message. They (STBXW and AP) had discussed client information that also had protected health information with an unsecured, non-approved messaging system. I also informed them that she was his acting supervisor on 2 projects over a certain time that corresponds with the sexually inappropriate messages. Lastly I said that they both used their subsidized phones to transmit pornographic materials (Pics, sexting, videos.) That was a big no no as well.
My whole life, I have viewed myself as a peaceful and rational man. This has broken that part of me. I don't know where all of this anger has come from, I am somewhat worried. Like, will it stop. I know in the long run, to "Get over this" I will have to accept her apology and forgive her for her mistakes...I just don't know if I am capable, and it is worrying to me.
That evening I continued to notify family and friends of the situation and her actions. I called a physician friend and requested a favor for a checkup and an STD check. He had questions, I answered. My eyes got heavy around 8.
Sunday DDay+3: I decided to drive to see the girls. They are about 3 hours away. The youngest is still in college for another semester (maybe longer, thanks 2020.)
I have been having pretty extreme feelings about them since this began. I have formed a respectful, friendly relationship with them, but not much of a "Fatherly" one. The oldest especially. We are cordial, but, there is always that "Your NOT my dad" vibe between us. The youngest, not so much, but, when they are together, it gets more prevalent. I left early Sunday around 5 AM, arrived at their condo (Their father pays for it) just after 845. I had Kolaches and good coffee for them. They were immediately worried about their mother before I said anything. I told them point blank the situation and that their mother would probably be moving in the next 3 to 6 months. I can honestly say it was best to do and say this in person. I told them EVERYTHING. They were disappointed in her. I then told them that I wasn't there to get them to take a side, but, they were adults in a special circumstance within our relationship, and if they decided they didn't want to interact or have a relationship with me that was OK, I would be somewhat let down, but also relieved. I told them however, that our relationship or lack thereof should not interfere with their grandparents (My parents.) They both agreed that they would like to definitely keep in touch with the grandparents. I left there around 11 and headed home. I stopped at my best friends house and cried a little... I had essentially help to raise them as best I could. Their father was absentee most of their childhood and started another family 6 hours away. My best friend decided that I had drank enough the past 72 hours, and I needed to sleep. I crashed at his place that night. I had noticed STBXW had been blowing my phone up after I had left the girls place. Oh well, I was too tired and in too dark a place to care.
Monday DDay+4: I arrived home around 8 and noticed her Porsche was still there... I thought for a moment that she Uber'd or Waze'd to the airport. No, no she had not. She was up and had breakfast made, she asked me to sit down and eat with her. I did. She asked how it tasted, I told her like static. I told her I've had a hard time tasting and feeling anything other than bitterness and anger, for the past 5 days... She had called in "Sick" at work, and did not leave for her quarterly meeting. She tried to start talking about how worried she was for me and that she loved me so much. She had gotten a call from her oldest yesterday around noon and they were deeply disturbed by her behavior. I laughed... as I did it, I realized it was not a funny laugh. It had a manic kind of feel to it and took me aback. I said Oh, you "Love" me so much you have a year and a half affair behind my back. You "Love" me so much you fuck some other married man. You "Love" me so much you pissed away nearly half of my life because... She had never given me a reason as to why she did it. I told her that, and it made it so much worse. I went to the liquor service and pulled out "The Bottle."
---"The Bottle" was an 18 year Glenfiddich that my grandfather bought for "Us" when we got married. It has been/was our tradition to have a small sip on our anniversary night and remember that things get better with time and patience.---
I chugged the remainder of it. It was about a third of the bottle that was left. I said, sorry I didn't offer her any, because she did NOT deserve any. I went to the bedroom and began pulling all of the pictures off of the wall that had us or her in them. I placed them on the kitchen table. She had left. My attorney or rather her paralegal called to notify me the Petition for Divorce was ready, and I needed to sign off on it before it could be filed and STBXW would be served within 10 business days. I read it quickly, while VERY buzzed on premium Scotch. E-Signed and pressed send. I also got a message from the AP's wife. She reluctantly thanked me for this "Horrible but good revelation." She declined to speak with me, but wanted to message me to tell me. She found texts and videos with other women besides my STBXW. She kicked him out, and was going to an attorney soon. (They live in California, he's fucked.) I proceeded to listen to music and have a few more drinks. I fell asleep around 4 in the afternoon. I heard her come home around 10, she saw the pile of pictures and things that had at one time meant "Something" to "Us." She began sobbing and asking me to talk to her, I only asked one question "Why?" She kept saying she didn't know. I called her vile things and said that she made SO many decisions to get to just the first text. It was she that started it. I was pretty loose with my tounge due to being drunk. I laughed at her and started taking off my clothes and said you threw away this pointing to my body, (I'm going to get shit for it, but, I'm 6'4" and weigh 200#, up until last week I still jogged and lifted weights 4 times a week) for some pot bellied needle dick guy that wasn't going to do anything for her. I went to my room and had a shower. When I got out, she was in the bed naked. She had lit some candles and begged me to fuck her. I turned on my camera and told her to repeat what she said (I thank everyone who mentioned doing this, just in case) For whatever reason, my erection did not do a good job of convincing her that I didn't want to. So, I did it. I was NOT kind. I put her in uncomfortable positions and pounded her. I told her I wanted anal, and I wanted to hear her beg me for it. I recorded it ALL. I felt so many mixed emotions after. I love her, and I am indifferent to her, I hate her, and I think nothing of her. I want her and feel like I need her, but It hurts me to think of "Us" anymore. We fell asleep together. I woke up kind of hung over and had a hard time looking at myself in the mirror.
Tuesday DDay+5: Therapy was a 2 and a half hour session, unbeknownst to me, she followed me there and wanted to know what I was doing. I told her I was getting some therapy for the emotional trauma I had after realizing I had thrown away most of my life on someone who couldn't even give me a reason as to why she would cheat on me. I was a little loud and teary eyed. My soon to be new therapist saw most of the exchange. I called her horrible names and told her I wished her dead. Needless to say my session was intense. He prescribed some sedatives for me and I had another shorter appointment scheduled on Thursday. We discussed my anger and betrayal, my emasculation, my fear of the future. I explained I am terrified of the unknown. Last week I felt like a complete man. I had a vision and goals, I also had a partner to deal with any issues and obstacles. Now, I am a ship without a rudder, or mast. I feel no sense of direction, or power, or means to get away from this. He started explaining the "Why" that I wanted to know. It isn't a single question. It is a series of questions that is pretty interesting. I suppose you can apply it to any behavior that you want to explain the motivation behind it. He said instead I should calmly ask my STBXW, what within herself gave her permission to do this to me. There were several more to follow up with, but, this is what stuck out the most. I told him about the sex, he recommended that I lay out explicit ground rules regarding our physical relationship. He ultimately recommended that I don't do it anymore, it would confuse and exacerbate things tremendously, unless reconciliation was my goal. I cried, I raged. I left exhausted. STBXW was still outside waiting for me. I walked past her and didn't respond to her questions and pleading. I got a call from the physician's office to get tested and went to that appointment. I told him the short version. He recommended to stop drinking and take the sedatives cautiously. I went home and proceeded to continue removing my things from the house and boxing them up. I have decided I would move out. I called work and requested a face to face meeting. The thought of working, or concentrating on legitimate life and death issues is not possible in my current state of mind. I drove to the Administrative building at the hospital, met with the team and formally gave my 6 weeks resignation. I have such a niche, specialized job that 6 weeks is kind of a minimum courtesy. I put it succinctly that my STBXW's actions had caused a stressful home life, and I would be a detriment to patients, the team, and myself if I continued to remain in this area. I have decided to move away. Far away. I got home after picking up some groceries. It has been about a week since I have had more than a mouthful of food and have existed on liquor and not much else. I took both my therapists, and physician friends' advice and decided to make some food and stop drinking. She was home, sitting in the darkened living room drinking wine. She had organized the pictures and was looking through them. She had put on makeup and was wearing a "Date Night" dress. She had been crying alot. her makeup was in bad shape. She got up and tried to embrace me. I pushed her gently away and made a production of pulling out my phone and hitting record. She started crying again. She told me the AP's wife had called her and told her that he had had other women as well as her. She said that she was so much the fool and every derogatory name I had called her was right. She begged me to consider "Us." I said why bother, she didn't when she betrayed me. I told her I was sorry that her lies caught her out, but I felt that she was sorry she got caught, not remorseful for what she did to me. I told her I felt she was sorry that she was going to have to start over and that she was more upset about that, than losing any "Love" she had for me. I said that she abandoned her "Love" for me or "Us" 2 YEARS ago when she decided to do this. I kept piling it on her. I informed her of my call to the Corporate Compliance line and the specific rules she broke. I didn't raise my voice or act angry. I was shaking a bit, but it was like everything was leaving me in a rush. I felt elated and so low at the same time. I felt empty when I was done. I put up the few groceries I had bought and made a small sandwich, then went to bed. She was there again. I pulled out my phone and told her with the recorder going what my therapist had talked about in regards to sex. Keep in mind in 17 years, I can not recall a time when I've refused or declined sex from her. I asked her to leave and sleep in the guest bedroom. She refused. I said, fine, I would then.
Wednesday DDay+6: I woke up and she was curled up next to me. I removed myself and did some light exercises. I have been working on my resume and getting applications out. I might be working in Seattle by the end of the year! I love my parents and will miss being 20 minutes away from them, especially as they are becoming elderly. I can't stay in this city. The thought of "Running into" her after this is over is not something I want to entertain. I want to be free, and have NO reminders of my sense of loss and my lifetime of compromise. It was a pretty blah day and it rained off and on for most of it. I met up with my best friend and gave him a rundown over an early dinner. We decided not to drink. My attorney said that me moving away will not affect the outcome of the financials. I am going to live off my PTO until the end of October, and use my half of our liquid savings to relocate and settle. I feel empty and I am trying to laugh at his funny jokes, but it's an effort. I keep finding myself in a deep emptiness that has such a powerful pull. I have never thought about ending my own life, but for the past few days/nights I've had "Daydreams'' of what it would be like if I wasn't here. I am going to tell my therapist tomorrow. STBXW has been going to the library (I've been watching through Google) and reading relationship books. I have been reading Chump Lady. It is great stuff. She got a call from her work. I eavesdropped on a small portion of it, but I know she has a meeting tomorrow, despite her claiming to be "Sick." She was in bed again just like the past few nights. I am so conflicted, I just want to feel something, but I feel so little but hate and resentment for her, that the only sex I want is sadistic. I'll admit that during the abusive sex we had Monday I felt almost a runners high, but, there was a crash, and the next day I was angry at myself. I am doubting myself a small amount in regards to not wanting her back. I know she fucked up huge, but I don't know if I can forget it, or forgive it. I am a tangled mess. I told her the ground rules, with my phone recording, in regard to sex. I told her that it did NOT indicate reconciliation, or some covert signal that I wanted that. I told her this is probably hysterical bonding and not healthy. I told her that I was going to not be gentle nor care about her feelings or needs during it. She was teary eyed, and nodded understanding. She quietly said that she "Deserved it." She then rolled over and got on all 4's.
Thursday DDay+7: I woke up with her spooning me. I laid there for a while and heard her breathing change pattern. I could feel her looking at me. I asked with my back turned what her meeting was going to be about? She said it was an HR representitive and it was probably going to be bad. I said yup. She asked what she could do to make us right or equal again. I said nothing. She offered an open marriage on my end, she would not persue anyone, but I could. I chuckled, no. I don't trust her. She said that was fair. We had this conversation with my back to her, it was easier than looking at her. I get mad when I see her face. I asked what I did in this marriage that made her so unhappy she did this. She said I was beyond great. I chuckled again, well obviously that dosent matter. She said it was an adventure, like she lived off of the rush, she didn't realize until it was way too late that if she got caught or if something went wrong everyone would be hurt, she said it was a huge relief and an unforgettable pain when I confronted her. I got up and made us breakfast. I went to my therapist and told him my plan with work and already had responses to my applications. I told him everything about STBXW and the sex. We discussed my suicdal thoughts and talked about the process invlved with them. Again, he wasn't judging; he just wanted me to not get confused, or if I did not understand to stop and process. It was only a 1 hour (55 minute) session and I felt that weird calm again. Like nothing matters for now. everything just is. When I got home she was sitting in the living room. She told me that she was fired for breach of protocol with client information and violation of the data security protocols. I said, well that's too bad. I exercised and made a nice dinner, she joined me. We did'nt say much. While we were sitting in the living room she told me that AP had been fired as well. I said good. She told me she has had no contact with him in 5 days. I asked why not? They were both free now. She could fly out to her "Soul Mate" and have all the fun they wanted now. She said I was the only one she wanted. I said NO, you had me ALL of me, and it still was'nt enough. I told her that in the nearly 20 years of work, and our relationship, I had been approached and hit on too many times to count. I managed to not fall in love or fuck anyone else, now, I am so bitter and angry because of the compromises I made. She asked what compromises. I told her. My wanting to go to medical school, but decided to get married and be stable, my not wanting children, but, because they were a part of her, I accepted them and compromised. I said I made those compromises for our love. But, obviously I had misplaced my trust and love in her. I told her that if I could go back in time, I would tell 26 year old me to pass her up. She asked again what she could do to bring us back together. I told her that I will not EVER compromise for her again and that means we really can't have a healthy relationship. I told her I would NEVER love her again, and that at best, I would treat her like a sex toy. Otherwise, she would'nt factor into my plans or thoughts. I told her it was just a week ago, she was the first person I thought of when I woke up, and the last person I thought about when I went to sleep. Now it hurts too much to think about her.
I am going to walk away from this. I feel like it is starting to constantly remind me of things. I can not thank those kind people I could chat with and who shared their pain and stories that have helped me. This has been on a whole, a good thing for me to do, but I keep replaying things and feelings I'd rather just walk away from. I remain confused about what I want. I don't know if I will ever be 100% about anything with Her ever again. I have bi-weekly appointments for the next 4 weeks with my therapist.
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2020.09.18 17:23 EepeesJ1 Learned new information about my parents

Trigger Warning: Domestic Violence. Rape.



Late 30s here, 10 years NC with nmom, and 3 years NC with ndad who was never really in the picture growing up anyway. Spent nearly 15 years not talking to ndad and he was super abusive to me when I was a kid. I went NC with my nmom ten years ago because I realized she was the most toxic person in my life and was the one holding me back. I'm not sure if it was her absence or whether my decision to be better was what the trick but the last 10 years without her have been the years where I've experienced my greatest successes and periods of personal growth. I'm constantly working towards being the person I want to be and setbacks don't slow me down anymore.
Couple weeks ago I met up with my aunt and uncle with whom I still have a pretty good relationship with. My uncle told me stuff I already knew, like my parents weren't ready to have kids and both came from abusive homes so they really didn't know any better. I've known this and accepted it. I'm breaking the cycle. But he told me that when I was an infant he witnessed my ndad beat up my nmom to the point where she had a black eye, and bruises all over her face, neck, and arms. The reason was ridiculous. My uncle spent the night at their place because he was having problems at home and my ndad was trying to have sex with my nmom with my uncle in the room at night. She said no, and he beat her up.
A year or so before this beating, my nmom had moved back home after living in the states and my uncle asked her why she was dating my ndad again after she was living in America and seemingly doing fine over there. She said my ndad threatened to kill my nmom's family if she didn't take him back (by the way, my ndad also had a pregnant wife at home around this time.)

I felt sick to my stomach. I'm furious. I trained martial arts my whole life because I wanted to some day square off against my ndad and show him that he's powerless against me. He never gave me the chance because three years ago I called him out on some b.s. he did behind my back and he ran and went NC with me. It was super empowering knowing this worthless sack of shit who was physically and emotionally abusive to me my whole life was finally too afraid to stand up to me.
I'm conflicted now tho. I don't want to have anything to do with my nmom. I will never reconcile with her and I intend to stay NC for the rest of my life. But knowing that he beat her like that makes me mad... Does that mean that part of me still cares about her? Am I making a mistake for staying NC? She's not good for me and I'm not going to go into that story here because this post is long enough. None of us are really experts at being estranged from our parents, even tho many of us have our shit together. I'm not going to reach out to my nmom about this ever, but I don't know exactly how I should process these feelings. I went NC because I don't want her around. Why do I care so much about righting this wrong that happened nearly four decades ago?
submitted by EepeesJ1 to EstrangedAdultChild [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 15:04 rusticgorilla The NINE agencies Trump is using to corrupt the election

Over the past six months, Trump has been making increasingly false, absurd, and dangerous claims - from saying the “only way” he’ll lose in November is in a rigged election to claiming his opponents illegally “spied” on his campaign.
However, not only is he making these claims, the president and his cronies are corrupting the power of government to inflate his lies to the level of truth and oppress any evidence to the contrary. With the help of loyalists atop every federal agency, Trump has perverted the government to serve his own re-election desires.
This list is nowhere near comprehensive. There are many more examples that could be given, but I tried to keep it short enough that it is still readable.

ODNI and Intelligence Community

Limit disclosure of knowledge of Russian sabotage.
The Office of the Director of National Intelligence, led by Trump loyalist John Ratcliffe, canceled future in-person briefings on election security issues to the congressional intelligence committees. Instead, the ODNI will provide written briefings only.
The change came after a classified briefing in which top counterintelligence official Bill Evanina told House members that Russia is again trying to boost President Donald Trump’s reelection and denigrate his opponent, Joe Biden. Trump was enraged after details of the briefing leaked to the public, revealing that his own administration’s intelligence officers contradict his repeated assertions that Russia is not interfering on his behalf.
Reminder: Trump fired the previous DNI, Joseph Maguire, after learning that one of Maguire’s staff members gave a 2020 election security briefing to the House Intelligence Committee. In the briefing, Maguire aide Shelby Pierson alerted committee members that Russia was interfering in the 2020 campaign in an effort to tip the election in Trump’s favor. In firing Maguire, Trump sent a warning to the entire intelligence community: Trump’s opinion and electoral prospects must be prioritized over facts.

Department of Homeland Security

Twist intelligence to support campaign and personal motives.
Election interference
Former acting Under Secretary of Homeland Security for Intelligence and Analysis Brian Murphy filed a whistleblower complaint alleging that Acting Homeland Security Secretary Chad Wolf interfered with intelligence assessments in order to benefit Trump politically.
In May 2020, Acting Homeland Security Secretary Chad Wolf told Murphy to “cease providing intelligence assessments on the threat of Russian interference in the United States, and instead start reporting on interference activities by China and Iran.” Wolf told Murphy those instructions came directly from the White House.
In July 2020, DHS chief of staff John Gountanis intervened to stop publication of an intelligence bulletin warning about a Russian disinformation plot to “denigrate” the mental health of Joe Biden. On July 8, Murphy said, he met with Wolf, who told him that the intelligence notification should be “held” because it “made the President look bad.”
Trump not only attempts to hide intelligence that contradicts the false narrative he continues to push about China actively interfering to boost Biden, according to Murphy Trump’s officials directed him to prioritize intelligence on China and Iran.
It’s disturbing enough for a president and his allies to distort intelligence assessments for political gain, but Murphy’s account suggests something more nefarious—that intelligence authorities and positions of public trust might have been used to engineer the narrative from the outset.
Campaign agitprop
Murphy’s complaint also details that Senior Official Performing the Duties of the Deputy Secretary Ken Cuccinelli ordered him to modify intelligence assessments to make the threat of white supremacy “appear less severe” and include information on violent “left-wing” groups and Antifa. The reason given was “to ensure they matched up with the public comments by President Trump on the subject of ANTIFA and ‘anarchist’ groups.”
Trump has spent months fear-mongering about imagined mobs of far-left activists coming to attack the suburbs. On Saturday, the Trump campaign sent out an “ANTIFA ALERT” text message to supporters, saying “they’ll attack your homes if Joe’s elected. Pres Trump needs you to become a Diamond Club Member.”

Customs and Border Patrol

Cause unrest in Democratic-cities to assist in fear campaign.
Border Patrol agents were among the federal forces sent to Portland to confront and arrest protestors over the summer.
Gil Kerlikowske, former commissioner of U.S. Customs and Border Protection under President Barack Obama, said BORTAC, the unit dispatched to the city, is chiefly trained to pursue fugitives and criminals. "They're clearly the wrong group to be doing this.”
The violence they provoked was featured in Trump’s campaign ads and RNC nomination acceptance speech.
“Trump has ratcheted up political ties to border patrol to another level,” Todd Miller, the author of Empire of Borders, said. “He based his whole 2016 campaign around this, and it is now at the core of his 2020 re-election bid. These are his people.”
Most recently, the Border Patrol produced and published a dramatized video showing a Spanish-speaking attacker stabbing and killing a man in a dark alley after escaping from U.S. agents - “a clip apparently created to dramatize President Trump’s depiction of migrants as fearsome criminals.”

Justice Department

Weaponize the law to harm opponents and save himself.
Investigate Trump’s rivals
Trump and Attorney General Bill Barr are reportedly pressuring U.S. Attorney John Durham and his team to release the results of their probe before the November election. Durham was appointed by Barr to investigate the origins of the Mueller investigation and the FBI’s Russia probe. Last week, a highly respected and experienced prosecutor, Nora R. Dannehy, resigned as a senior aide to Durham due to concern over this improper political pressure.
Trump has publicly expressed impatience with the Durham investigation, saying there should be more prosecutions and disclosures of information that would damage his political rivals. Last month, Barr indicated the DOJ would not respect an informal policy against taking investigative steps 60 days before Election Day.
In a speech on Wednesday, Barr essentially rebuked the Mueller investigation and the cases it spawned: “Smart, ambitious lawyers have sought to amass glory by prosecuting prominent public figures since the Roman Republic. It is utterly unsurprising that prosecutors continue to do so today to the extent the Justice Department’s leaders will permit it. As long as I am Attorney General, we will not.”
Assist Trump’s allies
Attorney General Barr has explicitly interfered in at least two criminal cases against Trump’s allies, helping the president promote the narrative that the Obama administration (in which Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden served) acted inappropriately. In February, Barr overruled career federal prosecutors in order to recommend the former Trump campaign advisor Roger Stone receive a lesser prison sentence. The entire team of prosecutors resigned from the criminal case due to the Justice Department’s interference. Trump ultimately commuted Stone’s 40-month sentence, much less than the original recommendation of seven to nine years in prison.
Then, in May, the Justice Department filed a request to drop the criminal case against Trump's first national security adviser, Michael Flynn, despite the fact that Flynn twice - before two separate judges - admitted to lying to the FBI. In response, nearly 2,000 former DOJ employees called for Barr’s resignation, saying he had “assaulted the rule of law.”
Politically-motivated actions
Barr reportedly told prosecutors to explore aggressive charges against people arrested at recent demonstrations across the US, even suggesting bringing a rarely used sedition charge, reserved for those who have plotted a threat that posed imminent danger to government authority.
The AG asked prosecutors in the Justice Department’s civil rights division to explore whether they could bring criminal charges against Mayor Jenny Durkan of Seattle for not acting immediately to disrupt the police-free zone created by protestors over the summer. According to the Associated Press, charges were also explored against city officials in Portland, Oregon, for the continued protests in the area.
The Justice Department is targeting Democratic governors for coronavirus outbreaks in state-owned nursing homes. The four governors - PA’s Tom Wolf, MI’s Whitmer, NJ’s Murphy, and NY’s Cuomo - are frequent targets of Trump for not lifting pandemic restrictions as fast as he’d like. Republican-run states have very similar rules about nursing home admissions yet are not under DOJ investigation.
Just yesterday, Barr publicly bashed states that still have restrictions in place, saying that “stay at home orders” are “like house arrest.” Incredibly, Barr added: “Other than slavery, which was a different kind of restraint, this is the greatest intrusion on civil liberties in American history."
  • More: In April, Barr issued a memorandum directing the nation’s U.S. attorneys to be on the lookout for public health rules that might, among other things, constitute “undue interference with the national economy.”

CDC and FDA

Rush coronavirus treatments to save his election chances.
At the end of March, the FDA issued an Emergency Use Authorization (EUA) to allow hydroxychloroquine and chloroquine for coronavirus COVID-19 treatment after weeks of pressure from Trump. For instance, eight days before the EUA, Trump tweeted that hydroxychloroquine and azithromycin could be "one of the biggest game changers in the history of medicine" and should "be put in use immediately."
Ultimately, the FDA revoked its EUA in June after more evidence revealed hydroxychloroquine can cause “serious cardiac adverse events.”
Experts say the FDA again caved to political pressure when it approved an expanded use of convalescent plasma to treat covid patients, the night before the Republican National Convention. Despite concerns over plasma’s effectiveness, Trump called Dr. Francis S. Collins, the director of the N.I.H., to tell him: “Get it done by Friday.” When it wasn’t, Trump took to Twitter to accuse those at the FDA of being part of the “deep state” withholding an approval “to delay the answer until after November 3.” The next day, the FDA announced its approval.
Finally, and most obviously, Trump has pressured the FDA to approve of a coronavirus vaccine before the November election. Experts across the board have said there is no way our government and existing infrastructure will be ready to distribute, administer, and track doses by November.
Trump, Sept. 2: "[It's] going to be done in a very short period of time -- could even have it during the month of October… We’re going to have a vaccine very soon, maybe even before a very special date. You know what date I’m talking about” (clip 1 and clip 2.
Just yesterday, Trump contradicted CDC chief Robert Redfield’s timetable for the vaccine, saying the doctor was “confused” in his congressional testimony.
"If you're asking me when is it going to be generally available to the American public, so we can begin to take advantage of vaccine to get back to our regular life, I think we're probably looking at third, late second quarter, third quarter 2021," Redfield told a Senate appropriations subcommittee.
"I think he made a mistake when he said that. It's just incorrect information," Trump said about Redfield's vaccine timeline. Following Trump’s repudiation, a CDC spokesman walked back Redfield’s statements to be in line with the president’s. "He was not referring to the time period when Covid-19 vaccine doses would be made available to all Americans," the spokesman said.

Department of Health and Human Services

Convince the public that the pandemic is gone.
DHS is bidding out a more than $250 million contract to a communications firm as it seeks to “defeat despair and inspire hope” about the coronavirus pandemic. Among the goals of the contract: “sharing best practices for businesses to operate in the new normal and instill confidence to return to work and restart the economy.” In other words: exactly what Trump has tried to project onto the nation despite his failure to effectively contain the spread of the coronavirus.
As the House Oversight Committee has expressed, “rather than focus on planning and executing a national strategy to contain the coronavirus, the Trump Administration is using a quarter of a billion dollars in taxpayer money to fund what appears to be a political propaganda campaign just two months before a presidential election.”
Remember, the pandemic crisis still gripping America is Trump’s own creation. Olivia Troye, Pence’s top aide on the White House coronavirus task force, went public yesterday with her firsthand experiences. She relays that throughout the pandemic, Trump was consumed by himself and his prospects in November. “For him, it was all about the election,” Troye said.
Instead of trying to help Americans and slow the spread, Trump is spending 250 million taxpayer dollars to try to convince us not to believe our own eyes and ears.

US Postal Service

Discredit vote-by-mail and suppress the vote.
President Trump on Thursday continued his months long campaign against mail-in voting this November by tweeting that “MAYHEM” will occur in states that send ballots to all registered voters. In another tweet, Trump falsely asserted that “the Nov 3rd Election result may NEVER BE ACCURATELY DETERMINED” due to nine states running universal mail-in voting.
By casting doubt on mail ballots and the election results, Trump is trying to accomplish two things: (1) persuade voters not to participate in the election, and (2) claim victory prematurely, or even after a decisive loss.
To this end, Postmaster DeJoy - a big donor to Trump’s campaign - has sent confusing misinformation to voters in these states that automatically send registered voters ballots by mail.
DeJoy has also implemented changes at USPS that significantly slowed the delivery of mail, making it harder for people to vote by mail with confidence and, likely, scaring some people away from voting at all in the middle of the pandemic. Trump is betting on these changes having a bigger impact on Democrats than Republicans, especially considering the fact that he has spent nearly the entire year downplaying the threat of the coronavirus to his base.
  • Note: Barr is also cranking out false public statements to discredit vote-by-mail, whether it’s falsely claiming it’s vulnerable to a massive foreign-engineered conspiracy or blatantly misrepresenting actual domestic cases of fraud.

National Park Service

Assist in taxpayer funded staging of campaign events.
Yes, even the National Park Service has been corrupted by Trump, via former oil industry lobbyist and Secretary of the Interior David Bernhardt. Most recently, the NPS produced what appears to be a campaign ad, with no other purpose than promoting Trump. In fact, the words “PRESIDENT TRUMP” in all caps are the first words to appear on screen. The video likely breaks the law:
The federal Anti-Deficiency Act prohibits the use of federal funds for purposes other than those Congress has authorized… if Congress has not authorized the Interior Department to use our money to create campaign ads (and it hasn’t), then the Interior Department cannot legally create campaign ads. In addition to this general prohibition against using funds for unauthorized purposes, there is an express prohibition against propaganda.
Additionally the NPS allowed Trump to take over Mount Rushmore National Memorial for an air and fireworks show ostensibly to celebrate Independence day. In reality, Trump used the event to rail against Democrats, promote his statute-protecting executive order, and warn of a "left-wing cultural revolution." Put differently, it was a campaign event in the middle of a national park.
In June, U.S. Park Police (officers of the NPS) took part in forcibly removing peaceful protestors with tear gas and rubber bullets from the area in and around Lafayette Park, a national historic landmark and public place, for the president's photo-op with a bible. And in 2019, the Park Service used $2.5 million in fees paid by national park visitors to fund President Trump's "Salute to America" celebration in the National Mall.
submitted by rusticgorilla to Keep_Track [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 13:52 nextzero182 I watch a horror movie every day, here's everything I watched in August

(2019) The Lighthouse 9.5/10
The visuals are jaw-dropping; almost every single frame of this film is photographic. The soundtrack is stripped down to just these haunting sounds of fog horns and piss buckets. The package everything is delivered in, from an artistic standpoint, is so memorable. The performances by Pattinson and Dafoe are both some of the best I’ve seen this entire year and really, the decade…possibly of all time. They deliver this brilliant script’s dialogue with such passion, humor and intensity. The story in this film is shrouded in mystery but the clues and tools needed to decipher it do exist and with a re-watch, finding them felt so rewarding.
(2007) Zodiac 9/10
This is one of my favorite Fincher movies and for anyone familiar with his stellar catalogue, that’s a bold claim. It feels so real and lived-in. The cast is absolutely stacked but so complimentary. It’s not the most violent film, it’s much more story driven but the moments of violence feel fucking powerful. The horror in this film isn’t about the serial killer, it’s really about obsession and Gyllenhaal absolutely nails his performance to bring that aspect home. Despite this film’s high praise by critics and regular assholes like myself, it is a slow-burn. It’s long and tedious and that aspect, which I love, could easily turn someone off.
(1981) Raiders of the Lost Ark 9/10
Raiders of the Lost Arc is such an important movie to me. It helped open my eyes to darker content as a child, for better or worse. It also introduced me to one of my favorite characters of all time, Indiana Jones. Harrison Ford doesn’t play a superhero in this movie, he’s very flawed and mortal. Yet, somehow he always seems to prevail, despite dire circumstances. Everything that could ever be said about this film has been said, I’m just here to show my appreciation.
(2014) Spring 8.5/10
This movie is wonderful, raw, natural and intriguing. It’s not over-acted or overthought in any way. It’s fucked up and complicated. This felt like an homage to Possession but the love story aspect really shines through. It feels helpless and hopeful at the same time. Benson’s script is amazing. The influences are impossible not to see but the dialogue is incredibly natural. The reactions are the same. I’ve always said that films shot in idyllic landscapes are a blank canvas for horror. There’s so much beautiful contrast.
(2007) Timecrimes 8.5/10
I loved this movie when I first saw it but upon rewatching it, I can’t help but stress its influence in the time-loop horror sub-genre. Sure films like Primer definitely helped pave the way but Timecrimes really manages to focus less on the science fiction and more on the horrifying consequences that come with time travel. I really enjoyed Karra Elajalde’s performance, his character’s physical and mental degradation throughout the film is really a high point to me. Almost all of these films on paper would seem predictable in concept but Timecrimes is just another one that manages to pull you in despite that. A part of me knew exactly how this was going to play out but a bigger part of me was too engrossed to be sure.
(2018) Gwen 8.5/10
This movie is an atmospheric slow burn down to the T so if that’s a sub-genre you generally don’t enjoy, this isn’t going to be something to change your mind. With that being said, it’s an incredibly heartbreaking story that, while exists in the folk-horror genre, subverts any and all expectations. The characters are real and suffering in this sort of beautiful but also incredibly bleak, barren landscape. Eleanor Worthington-Cox and Maxine Peaks carry the entire film. The story itself, while simple, yet powerful, is unwoven tediously, evoking all sorts of dread. I don’t think- scratch that, I know everyone is not going to like this movie. The plot is way too stripped down for mainstream appeal. If you find yourself empathizing with the characters and become personally involved in the period and setting, it can be an emotional watch.
(2005) Constantine 8.5/10
I was pretty surprised at the semi-mixed reaction to this film before I learned it was a comic book adaptation. Listen, I’ve obviously never even heard about this comic but let me just say, as a standalone movie, it’s fucking awesome. It’s basically Keanu Reeves battling his way through hell, murking demons and basically just being badass as shit. I love the entire cast, Rachel Weisz, Shia LaBeouf, etc. A true standout to me too was Tilda Swinton who plays the vague gendered Gabriel. The special effects, even 15 years later, are still fucking awesome. There’s a ton of CGI which isn’t always my favorite but it’s quality CGI that stands the test of time. I really loved this movie, I’d recommend it to anyone.
(2020) Relic 8/10
Robyn Nevin is fantastic here and all the supporting roles are great but not only does this woman make the movie, she is the movie. Her dialogue, her delivery and her body language, at least to me, are a huge chunk of the entire plot. I just found this movie to be gentle until it isn’t, which makes for the most tense moments. It’s a very claustrophobic film; I think it does justice to a very serious and frightening illness.
(1986) The Little Shop of Horrors 8/10
Okay to keep things real, I’ve never been a big musical dude but this movie is fun as hell. Rick Moranis is as goofy as ever and good god…the practical effects are mind-blowing. You’re watching this giant plant movie and it just melts your brain thinking about how it was accomplished. I had to look it up and after finding out it took sped-up footage, vocal matching with said footage and 60 men to operate this giant…puppet(?), I couldn’t be more impressed.
(2020) Palm Springs 8/10
It doesn’t take long to catch on that, while this is a romantic comedy, it’s also a sci-fi horror film and a specific subset of sci-fi that makes me anxious. So in some regards, at least to genre placement, there’s my bias. The movie is seriously a treat though. It’s a new spin on an old formula and it’s genuinely funny, suspenseful and endearing. Even if you disagree that it shouldn’t be discussed in the horror circles, you won’t regret watching it.
(1979) Nosferatu the Vampire 8/10
This film not only embodies and celebrates the original in terms of structure as well as substance, but in its restrained filmmaking methods; its ability to let shots live without intervention. It’s atmospheric, well-trimmed and just an all-around, exceptional film. Klaus Kinsi as Nosferatu is perfect; I loved the makeup design. His character is so out in the open that the shots have to be perfect in order to avoid the sillier pitfalls of films in the same vein attempting to achieve the same results. It still contains small doses of the eras beloved campiness, which I can appreciate to some degree, as it feels balanced within context. Dracula’s takeover of the town is anything but some violent, typical horror spectacle. Rather, Werner Herzog decides to portray it in a fever-dream-like fashion, elevated by the very minimal but well-used soundtrack.
(2009) The House of the Devil 8/10
Modern horror is no stranger to throwback aesthetics from earlier decades but in 2009, that wasn’t the case. Not only did this movie pioneer that but it did it so successfully. My absolute favorite aspect of this film is the retro feel. It captured 70’s horror so incredibly well. Ti West is a talented filmmaker and this is one of my favorites by him. It’s a slow burn but so sinister and despite many complaining that the payoff wasn’t worth the wait, I have to disagree. Also, the suspense during the build-up was my favorite part. The violence, especially early on, while limited, is so powerful and raw. It really set an uneasy tone for the rest of the runtime.
(1989) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade 8/10
You know, this movie was the least memorable of the trilogy to me and I think that holds up, to a degree. I like this movie a lot though, fuck it, I love this movie. It’s the least horror focused but still has at least one intense body-horror moment. I don’t think too many people talk about how brave this movie is though; it tackles one of the most divisive topics, religion and does so in such a thrilling fashion. Indy is still Indy here, he’s fucking badass; his character and dialogue excel in this entry immensely. Not just dialogue but this film contains some of the best action choreography of the entire series, something that almost seems unfairly diminished through repetition. This movie is fucking awesome.
(1984) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom 8/10
This is probably the most influential horror movie of my entire childhood. The first time I watched it I had to shut it off at the heart scene and I think it took a few more tries to even make it through the whole thing. Unlike Scream, watching this decades later didn’t really totally eliminate that. I think it’s a scary movie and a really dark turn in the trilogy. There are quirky aspects of it character wise that are kind of goofy but playful. Overall though, goddamn dude, these set pieces are amazing. I love this movie and I’m totally biased but there are so many iconic moments during it. Harrison Ford is also jacked to shit and just at an all-time fuck-shit-up mode. His greedy and gritty character compliments the plot incredibly well.
(1984) The Terminator 8/10
This movie, simply put, is badass as shit. Everything you could ever need to know about it is established in the very first scene. I’m aware the series kind of progresses into more action focused territory with the sequels but the original will always be a horror movie to me. The pacing, the unstoppable force that is Arnold, it’s all thrilling as shit. Sure, there’s a few instances of 80’s special effects that have aged like milk, mostly with the final scene but for the most part, the effects look dope still. Cameron hasn’t missed in his entire career in my opinion and this film is a benchmark in multi-genre spanning, epic, cinematic movies. I love it.
(2009) The Loved Ones 7.5/10
This is the film that got me into Sean Byrne and it’s really something special. It reminds of almost a modern day interpretation of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, if the dinner scene was the entire film. It’s a non-thinker, fun horror movie in a purest sense. Byrne seems aware of that and the story and pacing all cater to it so well. Robin McLeavy plays one of the most unlikable villains to date and that alone is a ticket for investment in this film. It would seem almost playful to a horror veteran but the sadistic and incestuous nature of her writing is something to behold. This is a popcorn movie but a great one at that.
(1973) The Crazies 7/10
There’s some silly and overly-eccentric characters, per Romero’s usual style but I actually enjoyed this one a lot. I’m not even speaking directly about the remake but this film inspired a lot of modern horror films and concepts. There’s this great scene with this old lady knitting that I just adore. The innocent and violent clash in such an effective way. Obviously the horror aspects in that scene, as well as the virus itself are very fictional. The government response though, seems almost plausible, considering how they’re currently handling Covid-19. The miscommunication within government agencies in this film is both satisfying and frustratingly accurate.
(2019) I Trapped the Devil 7/10
This one is a bit of a slow-burn but I felt the tension from beginning to end so none of it felt like a blind investment. It had the potential to be another, cookie-cutter, pretentious statement but what I found it to be was simply a well-crafted horror film. While this film doesn’t shoot for the moon, it executes a well-trimmed, concise story and I’d fully recommend it to anyone interested in satanic horror.
(1935) The Black Room 7/10
This is another Universal horror film starring Karloff, directed by Roy Neill. It presents itself with the usual, tight-knit flair you may have come to expect but it somehow has seen much less recognition than any of the major monster movies. I really liked this movie. Despite the predictable nature, I found the short run-time to be refreshing and the performances were great. It was also a really cleanly produced. I suspect that’s due to the lack of need for special effects but nevertheless, it’s a high point. Definitely check this one out. It feels warms and slightly gothic; overall, it’s just a very well-executed movie.
(2004) The Day After Tomorrow 6/10
This may be due to the unrealistic science fiction needed to drive these plots, but I can’t decide if Emmerich takes his own work seriously. These films are undoubtedly brilliant visual spectacles at times and pretty goddamn entertaining but also a breeding ground for vapid characters. However, his films also seem to have actual political and social commentary. In the case of this film, it’s the world’s most on-the-nose message about climate change. I’m not even sure how much of a criticism that is but take it for what you will. The intense scenes in this movie are legitimately intense and even watching this 16 years after it was released, the CGI is pretty great. New York city is a fun sandbox for disaster porn and I had a great time watching it.
(2014) The Possession of Michael King 6/10
I was pleasantly surprised by this one. The “Possession of” movies are a mixed bag and despite this one in particular being really low-budget, they did a great job at creating scary visuals. I loved the psychological torment, specifically this idea with flies that’s legitimately creepy as fuck. They take it to a level where I think right at the end it dips off into the ridiculous but not in a way that’s awful, just not to my personal tastes.
(2019) Sweetheart 6/10
Sweetheart is a fairly well-made survival horror film that starts out well but unfortunately fades into mediocrity. While the first half is actually more of a methodical portion of the film, it’s strangely the second act that feels like a chore to watch at times. There’s some talent to look out for here but it seems underdeveloped on this project. With that being said, it’s still really entertaining for the most part, just treat it more as a popcorn movie rather than something to really sink your teeth into.
(2013) Boar 6/10
Yeah I don’t even really know what to say. It’s a killer boar movie. It’s fun, the gore is pretty great and it’s well-paced. I don’t really feel inspired to write a novel about it but it’s worth a watch.
(2014) Digging up the Marrow 6/10
I’m not surprised to hear people complaining about this film because it’s by no means perfect. However, I am surprised to hear so many people targeting Adam Green’s ego as being the shining flaw in this movie. I have no bias towards the guy, I’m a casual fan but I do think that people mistook the meta-aspects of this story to be simply for self-service. With that being said, I like this movie. I don’t love it but the build-up was pretty intense, carried by an always somewhat unhinged Ray Wise. I’m glad they didn’t show a ton right away or really, at all, because it would have been even cheesier. This is a fun movie though that’s really not meant to be taken all that seriously. The creature design is cool and it’s just an easily digestible popcorn flick. I would have re-wrote the ending a bit to be less convoluted and abrupt (paradoxical almost, I know) but I can still recommend this one.
(2015) The Vatican Tapes 6/10
I didn’t have high hopes for this one, exorcism movies are just so oversaturated. With that being said, I was pleasantly surprised. The horror of it all, the culmination or whatever, is exactly what you’d expect and if that seems like a spoiler, it’s more of a statement on the sub-genre itself. It’s the build-up and basically entire first half that impressed me. I truly felt like the events that conspire could happen to anyone. This was by no means a waste of time, despite how many times this story has been done.
(2014) The Last Showing 5.5/10
Robert Englund lends his talents to a b-movie of sorts here but the end product isn’t that bad. Outside of him, the acting isn’t bad either. Chris Geere from You’re the Worst is actually in it and he’s such a hilariously miserable cunt. It entertained me enough but in the end, felt really bland. I’m feeling pretty eh on this one.
(2017) Lost Child 5/10
Lost Child wasn’t quite what I was expecting, which in some ways, was the only thing I enjoyed about it. They keep the mystery going for a long time and to their credit, I was never exactly sure how things were going to play out. Unfortunately, it’s just really boring and there’s no huge payoff. I liked a few of the characters and as far as production and acting goes, it was just fine. It’s kind of one of those mid-movies that doesn’t do a whole lot wrong but also doesn’t do a whole lot right.
(2019) In the Tall Grass 4.5/10
People seem to be pretty divisive about this film to the point where not a lot of middle ground criticism is being offered but that’s where it lands to me. It often engaged me, I like a lot of the sci-fi aspects, felt there were a few good performances and I didn’t hate the conclusion. With that being said, not a single aspect of this movie wow’d me in any fashion. It feels like it actually could have been shortened a bit, as in like an episode of an anthology. I don’t hate it but I don’t love it either.
submitted by nextzero182 to horror [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 08:41 throwaway798319 Fucked up family domino effect

Another user inspired me to post my story. I wanted to share in a space where I feel like people would get it. A lot of the time I get the feeling that people with "normal" backgrounds think I'm making it up because there's such a wide ranging mess. TW for domestic violence murder, child abuse (violence) by parents and siblings, and child abuse (sexual) by a parent.
My mother is borderline JustNo. Her family has a lot of fucked up people in it, going back generations. Mum's paternal grandmother (my greatgran) died young because her husband beat her. Mum's father (my grandad) lost his mother at age 4, had an alcohol problem and was a World War 2 vet. Mum's maternal grandmother spent time in an insane asylum, and all the women on my maternal line have struggled with depression - my grandmother, my mum and aunt, both my sisters and me. Weirdly it seems to skip the women descended from men, so my uncle's kids are fine.
So. Not the most stable background, and then my mother married a functional alcoholic and had five kids in eleven years: Brother A, Sister B, Brother C, me, and Sister D. She struggled to cope, and was violent towards the first kid, Brother A. Brother A then decided to share the 'love' and was violent towards me and Brother C. Highlights include threatening to maim me with our dad's wood axe when I was somewhere between the age of 4 and 8 (he was 14 to 18) and throwing Brother C into a wall hard enough to dent the drywall. Brother C continued the cycle and was violent to my sister D.
(Sister B "only" got verbal abuse from our dad when he was drunk.)
When I was young we grew up playing with my cousins. My uncle (mum's brother) has four daughters roughly the same age as me and my three older siblings. Uncle was part of the Christadelphian cult (YES I consider it a cult) and his marriage to my cousins' mum was really messed up. When they split, one of my cousins revealed that he was sexually abusive. My mum sided with her brother and I didn't see my cousins again for 20 years.
As it stands right now I am no contact with Brother A. He's pushing 50 and still abusive AF; his fav tactic is to date women who have history of mental illness, so he can use that to mask his abuse. His latest girlfriend was around 25. I've reconnected with my cousins, verified my uncle's abuse, and made sure the rest of the family knows to stay away from him.
I have limited contact with my mother but can't go full NC because she's the caregiver for my dad. He or sober after having a stroke a few years ago (and then a medication induced brain hemmorhage). He has brain damage and dementia as well as Parkinson's so I don't know how long he'll be around. My mother is one of those people who has a talent for making me feel worse, so I don't call her very often. I already have enough to deal with, trying to break the cycle of violence and manage my PTSD while raising a one year old. We live in another country and my mother has never tried to come visit in almost a decade.
submitted by throwaway798319 to JUSTNOFAMILY [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 05:23 pnutbutterfuck My(25F) Mother(63) and step father(72) are ruining their lives with alcoholism and I don’t know how to help them.

So a little back story on how their alcoholism developed. My mother has 6 siblings and had an extremely abusive schizophrenic mother who self medicated with alcohol and died in a state mental hospital when my mother was 19. Growing up like this obviously caused my mother and all of her siblings to have some mental illnesses and general set backs in life. My mom always had a drink or two at the end of the day but has always been very productive and would only get wasted at family gatherings, my family likes to throw big parties during the holidays and get drunk, it’s pretty fun. But outside of those family gatherings once or twice a year I never saw her get super drunk when I was a kid, or maybe she was but I couldn’t tell. She worked full time, kept the house looking great, made me homemade meals every night, great mom 10/10 would recommend. Her and my father divorced when I was 8 and she remarried my step father when I was 14 after dating him for a few years. He also lived a similar life style, he would have a drink or two at the end of the day but wouldn’t get drunk unless he was celebrating something. He has his own set of problems, he was marine in the Vietnam war and saw a lot of violence and is still suffering from PTSD, he never ever talks about it with anyone except my mom. He had pretty wealthy parents, and they set him up for success. He worked hard and had a great career. When my mom met him he would take her on exotic vacations and treat her like a queen. He loved how outgoing and fun she was. He respected her for being so resilient and independent despite all of the things she’s been through. My mom grew up very poor and always worked extremely hard, my dad cheated on her constantly and didn’t respect her. She felt like she finally met her Prince Charming who would love her and take care of her and give her a somewhat luxurious life. My mom started drinking more when she moved in with him. She went from having a couple glasses of wine a night to having a couple glasses of scotch. And after I moved out of the house she seemed to pick up drinking even more. They started having money issues and lost everything in some lawsuit.
In the midst of their financial problems, a few years ago my mother drunkenly falls down the stairs and breaks her neck. She was almost paralyzed. Treatment for this cost a fortune and my mom couldn’t work. She couldn’t leave the house for months and couldn’t get out of bed unless it was to use the bathroom or eat. She started drinking more, and her husband started drinking more. They both began drinking so much that it’s the first thing they do when they wake up. About a year ago, my step father calls me and tells me she’s had a complete mental breakdown and needs to go to rehab. He put her in the best rehab in the state and he slowed down drinking as well, but didn’t completely stop.
After she got out of rehab she was like a brand new person. It was pretty amazing. Their relationship was doing great and the future was looking bright again. But she was still in denial that she was really an “addict”. She didn’t see herself as having as serious of a problem as the rest of the people in rehab and felt she needed to be there for her mental health more than her alcoholism.
They both began lightly drinking again and it has progressed into something worse than it was before. She’s getting completely wasted every single day, her husband can hold his liquor better but he was recently hospitalized for pancreatitis, which is widely understood by medical professionals to be caused by alcoholism. He said it was a “wake up call” for him. But immediately after being released from the hospital he started drinking again. He hides alcohol from my mom, but has drinks for himself, and then shames her when she gets drunk. Everyday I call my mom and she sounds completely hysterical. Going from cursing and yelling to crying and saying she hates her life and that her husband is awful and terrible to her and accuses him of having a girl on the side and says that he doesn’t care about her and wants her dead. I know none of this is true, he cares about her and doesn’t have the time or energy to cheat. She says that “he has sucked every single penny out of me and now we have nothing, all my life I’ve worked so hard and he’s like a vacuum”. But he could easily say the same thing about her, since he’s spent so much money on medical bills and rehab. They both claim to be victims of verbal abuse from the other, they both say they “don’t want a divorce” but claim that the other person hates them and wants them dead.
I’m getting married in two weeks. I’m so overwhelmed. I live two hours away from them so it’s not easy for me to drop everything I’m doing and go check on them. I’m stressed out and my mom keeps threatening to kill herself and my step dad is threatening to “put her in a state hospital and be through with her”. I called my step sisters and told them we need to have an intervention for the both of them, and they agreed. I’m scared and I don’t even know what I will say in the intervention. How do I make a grown ass couple stop drinking with my words alone? I don’t have ANY money. I can’t help them financially. Seriously. I’ve been unemployed because of covid and I’m in training for a brand new career and I’m not going to make any money for a while. My step sisters make good money, one of them is very wealthy, but they’ve made it clear they are not going to spend a single dime helping our parents. I don’t know how I feel about that, maybe it’s the right call. Maybe helping them financially will only enable them. I really don’t know.
TL;DR My parents are absolutely ruining their lives and treating each other like shit. Their mental and physical health are completely deteriorating and my step sisters and I feel that it’s time for an intervention for the both of them. I’m scared and don’t know what to say during the intervention. Has anyone else successfully coerced their parents out of alcoholism? How did you do it?
submitted by pnutbutterfuck to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 03:45 ajninomi (Spoilers Published) Byron and Morgarth

Alright, this is a long one and it might sound kinda far-fetched AT FIRST but bear with me here. There's a lot foofevidence and I haven't seen this theory anywhere before, but I think I've figured out the identities of the two hedge knights who appear with Shadrich in service to Littlefinger at the end of AFFC. Personally, I believe that Ser Shadrich of the Shady Glen is Howland Reed, come to rescue Sansa Stark, but that isn't necessary to understanding the main idea here, although it adds some supporting evidence. These two links, by u/theRockefellers and u/M_Tootles will get you acquainted with that theory if you aren't already. I don't agree with everything they say, but I do think Howland=Shadrich; and I have some new insights to add but everyone is tired to death of HR=? theories so I'll put my thoughts at the end of this post. Again, Howland=Shadrich isn't necessary to agreeing with the central idea of THIS post which is;
Edric Dayne, Lord of Starfall and Pello of Tyrosh aka Greenbeard have assumed the names Byron the Beautiful and Morgarth the Merry while they search for Arya and Sansa Stark.
EDRIC DAYNE
Last seen in POV: pissing Arya off by bringing up a possible love interest of Eddard Stark (Ashara Dayne). Arya runs off into the arms of the Hound later that day and is never recaptured by the BWB, although they later will hear she was alive with the Hound at the Inn of the Crossroads before 'the Hound' commits the atrocity known as the Rape of the Saltpans (where Arya was last seen heading).
Last probable location: by Beric Dondarrion's side when he gave his life to Catelyn Stark/Tully and raised her from the dead. I don't think he would've left Beric before he died (Edric is Beric's squire), but he has left Lady Stoneheart's group by the time we see them in Merrett's epilogue in ASOS. I doubt Beric kissed Catelyn without knowing he was going to die, and so he probably said some last words and/or did a final action (like knighting his squire?) before his death. The point of Edric's potential knighting/Beric's final death is that it frees Edric Dayne, the young Lord of Starfall, to leave the main group of the BWB. This might be his first chance to choose his own path. And, if he doesn't just leave on his own, the BWB/Lady Stoneheart and Edric's motivation's might align.
It seems clear that Areo Hotah will be the reader's first person POV of Starfall (Gerold Dayne is heading there, with Hotah and crew following), so Edric's story will probably continue somewhere else.
Motivation
Given that he feels guilty over angering Arya (he apologizes profusely but Arya doesn't want to hear it), logically he might go looking for her (or failing at that, another Stark daughter). This is supported by the fact that when Lady Stoneheart captures Merrett Frey, the BWB is looking for the Hound and Arya.
Edric Dayne (newly made knight?) could easily have volunteered to go on one of these BWB missions, or he could set out on his own adventure with the same goal. His motivation could be guilt over his interaction with Arya, loyalty to the BWB, loyalty to his namesake's troubled family, questions about that family, a crush on Sansa, his desire to be a hero, he wants to give Lady Stoneheart peace, or all of the above. There are a lot of reasons to suspect that he could looking for a Stark.
So the motivation is there, but why do I think he is Byron the Beautiful?
Character Description
They physically and temperamentally match. Byron is young, tall, elegant, has long blonde hair, is capable of dancing (Alayne I TWOW), and his eyes are never mentioned. He only says three words to Alayne, but waited all night to see her, and he kissed her wrist before leaving. Edric Dayne is 'shy, good-natured, and very polite', he has a crush on Sansa (see below), and he's a trained squire/knight (ASOIAF Wiki). Edric can also likely dance, read, and write (he is a lord and has been the heir for his whole life while being fostered at Blackhaven).
Both Byron and Edric are young knights (or squires who could fake it), both have blonde hair of the same length. Byron's thick blonde hair hangs "well past his shoulders" (ASOIAF Wiki), while Edric Dayne's blonde hair is long enough that when talking about his helm off he says:
"But when I take it off, my hair gets soaked and sticks to my helm and in my mouth" (Arya VIII ASOS)
By the end of AFFC, Edric Dayne's hair would've grown to beyond his shoulders, he could have grown another inch or two, and he still matches Byron's description. Additionally, Sansa has "vivid blue" eyes, and so Edric/Byron's "dark blue" eyes might not register enough to be described in her POV (contrasted with to his striking hair). GRRM could also be omitting certain distinguishing details in his description (where it makes sense) to hide identities. This fits with my parallel hypotheses; Howland Reed is Ser Shadrich, crannogmen generally have orange/red hair, Bowen Marsh is a crannogman (Ole Pomegranate), and Jojen's hair color is never mentioned (unlike Meera's) because it is similar to Bran's (auburn).
Finally, all members of House Dayne who are described in the story are attractive, tall, and have long hair. Ashara is tall and beautiful, with 'long dark hair tumbling around her shoulders' (The Kingbreaker ADWD). Gerold 'Darkstar' Dayne is 'handsome' with collar length, silver hair (ASOIAF Wiki). His height is never mentioned but he carries a longsword, which means he's at least not really short. Also, Arianne thinks he is attractive, and she seems to like tall guys (Arys Oakheart, Daemon Sand). Arthur Dayne, Sword of the Morning, beloved by all, was almost automatically not short and ugly. Look at how other ugly people are treated in this story; they are distrusted, and looked down at by the nobility. Think Brienne, Tyrion, Tyland Lannister after the Dance of Dragons. It makes sense that Arthur Dayne, the most famous knight of the last 100 years, was the perfect image of knighthood; tall, attractive, strong and noble.
Edric Dayne is most likely tall and attractive even though Arya doesn't mention it. Again I think GRRM is hiding distinguishing details here in a reasonable way, Arya isn't super interested in boys at the time she's with Edric, and the whole sharing a name with her recently-executed father might be distracting. We actually see this when Edric Dayne is first seen during the Hound's trial and Arya is thrown when hearing Beric call out "Ned". So why is GRRM being coy with Edric's hair length, attractiveness, and height? Might those details make Edric's identity just a little too obvious for the reader (Daynes are already mysterious) if Edric is going to go undercover at some point?
Byron the Beautiful's "thick blond mane cascaded down well past his shoulders" (Alayne II AFFC). Similar phrasing with Ashara's hair and Byron's...and:
"The three knights bowed and withdrew, though the tall one with the blond hair kissed her hand before taking his leave." (Alayne II AFFC)
The tall, blonde, long-haired, young, elegant, attractive knight says very little. Yet he kisses Sansa's wrist immediately after meeting her, after waiting most of the night with LF and his companions for Sansa to make her way down the Giant's Lance. And then he takes his leave with no other words. Byron's kiss of Sansa's hand, when compared to his few spoken words ('Dutiful and beautiful' is literally all he says) have always struck me as either very shy, overly polite, or a secret signal to his fellow 'hedge knights'. Funnily enough, Edric Dayne (polite, shy, crushing on Sansa, and can recognize her) makes sense for all three reasons.
Here's what he says to Arya, describing the Hand's tourney:
"Were you at the tourney? I saw your sister there. Ser Loras Tyrell gave her a rose" (Arya VIII ASOS)
So Edric knows what Sansa (and Arya) look like, has a reason to search out Stark girls, has recently disappeared in the Riverlands, and doesn't need to return to his castle for the reader to see Starfall in a POV. Someone who looks like him recently appeared in the company of Sansa, by way of Gulltown (port) and Littlefinger. How would Edric know to search out Littlefinger? Someone on his team could've told him, or he could've had an epiphany himself...
Edric mentions to Arya that he saw Loras give Sansa a rose, but why bring this up? Is Edric a little jealous of Loras? That makes sense, Sansa is cute, they are the same age, he remembers the rose, and Daynes and Starks have some interesting history. But there's another reason that GRRM brings this moment back to the our minds.
Immediately after Loras hands Sansa that rose, Littlefinger talks to her for the first time. He's clearly been standing there for a hot second or two when Sansa notices him. Edric already mentioned that he saw the rose being handed over, could he have seen the creep standing behind Sansa right after and noticed their odd conversation? Maybe that means nothing at the time but pops back into his head when he hears about that same creep marrying Sansa's aunt, that same aunt immediately dying, and Littlefinger then being named Lord Protector of the Vale of Arryn. Edric doesn't even need to hear that Littlefinger has a bastard daughter until later down the line, he knows that Littlefinger is suspicious, he was creeping on Sansa, and he has a lot of power in the Vale. Thats a good place to look for a Stark daughter after the Arya trail goes dead in Saltpans...
Why the secrecy
He is accompanied by two 'other louts/gallant knights', and they are friendly with each other (a team?). So who are his teammates? And why are they hiding their identities?
Littlefinger would absolutely be suspicious if the Lord of Starfall rolls into the Vale of Arryn for 'no reason', especially when he's accompanied by a random Tyroshi (see below). I also suspect he is accompanied by the mysterious Lord of Greywater Watch, an obvious Stark ally (see below below) which would certainly not help. But, would Littlefinger recognize Edric?
Edric Dayne was not at court in King's Landing for very long and the squire of a Marcher Lord is not someone Littlefinger is sure to recognize, especially with all the people there at the time, and after all the growth (physically and mentally) Edric has done with the BWB. But Littlefinger knows that Beric was the leader of the BWB for a while and if he were to make the connection between his hedge knights and the the outlaw group, or Beric's squire he would have turned them away or worse. But Littlefinger hired them, so their plan worked. It makes sense that Edric would be under an assumed name if he were in the Vale.
Now, remember the line where Byron/Edric kisses Alayne's hand to mark her as Sansa for his companions:
"..though the tall one with the blond hair kissed her hand being taking his leave." (Alayne II AFFC)
On top of marking Alayne as Sansa for his team, the other interesting thing about this line is that it implies another tall man in the room (otherwise why specify the hair color of Byron). Who is the other tall man?
PELLO OF TYROSH, aka GREENBEARD
If you'll permit me to get meta for a moment, the most important thing to notice about Greenbeard is that George RR Martin forgot about him before. While a somewhat comical note, I'm very confident that GRRM would make a point not to do this again, especially after introducing a 'replacement' Tyroshi sellsword character that he spends time developing in ASOS. Greenbeard is a prominent member of the BWB when Arya is traveling with them. He is the leader of the group before they reconnect with Beric. Greenbeard is the boss over such distinguished members as Lem Lemoncloak(Richard Lonmouth), Harwin, Tom O'Sevens, and Anguy the Archer. This character isn't just going to disappear.
Last seen in POV Greenbeard (Pello of Tyrosh) and the Mad Huntsman of Stoney Sept are given a the Hound's gold and sent on a mission 'South of the Mander' to feed the famine starved people of Stoney Sept. They seemingly leave right after the Hound's trial.
Last probable location After obtaining food somewhere south, where war hasn't annihilated crops and livestock, Greenbeard and the Mad Huntsman would return to the Stoney Sept area to give food out to the commonfolk. More than enough time has passed since Greenbeard and the Huntsman were sent by Beric for them to get food, bring it to Stoney Sept, and distribute. The Mad Huntsman was not a main part of the BWB, as since he is responsible for that town, I think he would just stay in Stoney Sept, where he and Greenbeard maybe hear news of Lady Stoneheart. Point is, the Mad Huntsman and Greenbeard probably split ways after the food mission, and Greenbeard can now do whatever he wants, rejoin with the BWB, stumble across/go find Edric Dayne, search for a Stark girl. He's unaccounted for somewhere in the Riverlands last we can reasonably guess and that time is somewhere in the beginning/middle of AFFC
The journey that Greenbeard and the Mad Huntsmen go on 'south of the Mander' isn't even necessarily where they are heading, Beric says this to the Hound and he could be lying to protect his allies. Greenbeard just needs to get to a place with food for sale, and then bring it back to Stoney Sept where the Mad Huntsman will presumably be in charge of distribution (it is his town). Thats a lot of responsibility, but the timeline is long enough that Pello can leave with the Hound's gold, come back with food, get to the Riverlands, meet Edric, and take a boat to Gulltown (probably from Dunskendale or Maidenpool(?)). There are weeks to spare, and if you want to explore this for yourself, the ASOIAF timeline is what I used. Dates are estimates but the timeline gives you a good basis.
Motivation
So Greenbeard definitely has had time to get back to the Riverlands. He is also a ex-member of the BWB and we know the BWB is searching for the Hound and the Stark girls. He has shown a proclivity to help the common people, and he dislikes Lannisters and the Hound. So his prior goals are similar to the current BWB goals, why has he left? Maybe he doesn't agree with the extreme violence, wanton cruelty, and vengeance-driven actions of Lady Stoneheart. He's likely to have similar goals but probably doesn't agree with the means. Suppose on his way back from Stoney Sept, or after leaving the BWB Greenbeard hears about the Rape of the Saltpans by 'the Hound' and started heading that direction where he runs into Edric Dayne at the Inn of the Crossroads, or Saltpans itself. Or Edric went looking, couldn't find Arya or the Hound, returned to the Inn at the Crossroads, or the hollow hill at the same time as Greenbeard, and they set off together. There are lots of reasons/possibilities for these two friends/former teammates to join up together. These two characters are two of the top three listed under Beric's old band in the appendix of AFFC, it makes sense they might team up on a mission (The Mad Huntsman clearly prioritizes Stoney Sept above all else). I also think Pello might want to protect Edric, who just lost his foster father and knight.
But could this Tyroshi named Pello aka Greenbeard really be Morgarth the Merry?
Remember that Edric is still only 12 or 13 years old, and only just maybe became a knight. Even though he's lord of an ancient house, or maybe because of that, I don't think Edric Dayne is alone on his quest, nor would the BWB be that pleased with him setting off alone. I don't know if Greenbeard is back by the time Catelyn is raised, but at some point Greenbeard separates himself from the main BWB group (evidenced by appendices) and goes his own way. But these two ex-BWB characters have similar goals, are in the same general place, and could be drawn together by the same clue; rumors of the Hound and Arya and the atrocity at Saltpans. I've already stated why I think he won't be forgotten, but it makes sense for him to join up with another prominent ex-BWB member (Edric Dayne) and reappear in one Stark girl's storyline, just like they disappeared from another.
So Greenbeard's motivation seems to be; help the commonfolk and or the downtrodden (food for Stoney Sept), maybe protect the newly 'orphaned' Edric Dayne (the old BWB members like him), maybe find a Stark girl and get her to her family (Arya escaped last time after her dropped her with Beric). He and Edric could also want to give Lady Stoneheart peace by bringing her a daughter so Catelyn can crown her daughter and let go of life (hence LS playing with Robb's crown). All sorts of reasonable, logical, possibilities for two prominent ex-BWB members whose whereabouts are unknown and who have similar goals to join forces. Greenbeard might even be along for the ride because rescuing Sansa is what Edric wants to do, who knows? But thats not all!
Character Description
Greenbeard is also physically and temperamental match for Morgarth the Merry.
Pello of Tyrosh was familiar with Arya Stark, constantly joking with her, calling her a 'golden squirrel', and tickling her under the chin. Seems like a pretty jolly, or merry, fellow. He seems to be well regarded by the BWB (he's a leader), just like Edric Dayne (Anguy says he's a good due). Greenbeard is a formidable fighter and a large man, being described as taller and bigger than Lem Lemoncloak, another experienced soldier and Big Dude (ASOIAF Wiki). Greenbeard has also been in Westeros for some time, as remarked by Tansy (the brothelkeeper of the Peach in Stoney Sept):
'"Greenbeard, is it? Or Greybeard? Mother take mercy, when did you get so old?" (Arya V ASOS)
These line both identifies Pello's beard as green and grey (salt and pepper minus the dye), and it tells us that Pello has been soldiering in Westeros for enough time that his beard has begun to noticeably grey. He might not be a knight, but he's definitely interacted with knights long enough to pass for one. Especially one rough around the edges like a hedge knight named 'Morgarth the Merry'. Greenbeard has a thick green and grey beard, and he could easily disguise his identity as a Tyroshi by washing out the dye, giving him a salt and pepper beard:
"Greenbeard stroked his thick grey-and-green whiskers..." (Arya III ASOS)
In Sam's Oldtown AFFC chapter, we hear about some Ironborn reavers trying to disguise themselves as Tyroshi sailors by dying their beards, but none of the Ironborn speak Tyroshi. Perhaps this is an allusion to how easy it would be for a Tyroshi who was familiar enough with Westeros and Westerosi to do the opposite and blend in? Greenbeard isn't mentioned to have an accent and he's very familiar with Westeros.
Another note; Greenbeard (like most of the BWB and other soldiers) drinks commonly in Arya's chapters, especially while hanging out at the Peach, and what is a common characteristic of drinkers? A red, broken-veined, nose.
"Morgarth is burly with a thick salt-and-pepper beard. He has a red, bulbous nose with broken veins and large, gnarled hands
Morgarth is a burly (large) man, with big, gnarled (well-worn) hands, a black and grey beard, and a drinker's nose. Sounds similar to Greenbeard? Big dudes have big hands, and the implication of another tall man in the room when Sansa meets the hedge knights can mean Morgarth. Littlefinger and Shadrich, are short and Byron don't make sense in context. Drinking reddens your nose, and a Tyroshi who had spent a lot of time in Westeros could wash the dye out of his beard (making it salt and pepper rather than grey and green) and pretend to be a Westerosi hedge knight. If the dye doesn't come out, he could just cut the green ends. Thick beard doesn't mean long. Also there is a theme in Sansa/Alayne chapters regarding dye as a disguise, and then that dye running out. How poetic would it be for a Tyroshi to blend in by washing out his dye to help rescue Sansa?
Pello of Tyrosh is already friends with Edric Dayne, would have a reason to search for Arya (BWB member, hates the Hound, wants to help Edric), and he in missing in the Riverlands. He fits the physical description and he a joking, laughing dude. Just the sort to be called 'the Merry'
Other than the physical description, MorGARTH the Merry brings to mind Garth the Green (or Garth Greenhand). Pello of Tyrosh, the Greenbeard, journeys to the Mander (the land of Garth the Green) and now returns with a name symbolizing Garth; Mor(e)-Garth.
Garth the Green is also related to the Isle of Faces (his oldest descriptions match the greenmen on the Isle of Faces), and this also connects to the idea that Howland Reed is Ser Shadrich, as Howland is the only known living visitor to the Isle of Faces. But again, Howland=Shadrich is not required to believe Edric=Byron and Pello=Morgarth.
That said, Howland Reed being the third member of the crew fits with everyone's motivations, explains how they were sure Sansa was in the Vale (if HR came from the IOF), and potentially explains the cooperation between the BWB under Lady Stoneheart and crannogmen that Danwell Frey mentions late in AFFC (Jaime IV AFFC).
Wrapping up Byron and Morgarth
Alright so Byron the Beautiful is Edric Dayne and Pello of Tyrosh aka Greenbeard is Morgarth the Merry. These two ex-BWB members have separated from the main BWB group, are prominent characters that wouldn't be forgotten, and have reasons to search out the Stark daughters. Edric recognizes Sansa, and his kiss marks her for his teammate(s). Both characters fit the physical descriptions and temperamental descriptions of the two mystery hedge knights (Byron and Morgarth) and Edric might have reason to suspect Littlefinger in Sansa's disappearance (creepy Littlefinger at the Hand's tourney). You can stop reading now or, if you aren't tired of this idea, I have some hopefully new idea about Howland Reed=Shadrich, why I'm sure HR isn't in the neck, and the timeline around the trio of hedge knights.
HOWLAND REED
I strongly believe Howland Reed is Ser Shadrich of the Shady Glen. The arguments laid out in the earlier links should be read if you want a full understanding on the likelihood of this secret identity, but in a few notes, Howland Reed is known to be:
Ser Shadrich of the Shady Glen:
The earlier posts by u/M_Tootles and u/theRockefellers do a better job explaining the link between crannogmen and red hair than I can in this space, but I think its important to remember that crannogmen are discriminated against, and their height cannot be the only distinguishing factor, there are too many other short groups for that to be the major distinguishing factor. I think having crannogmen often be gingers matches well with their discrimination, being called 'bog DEVILS' by the ironborn, being closer to the old gods and COTF (touched by fire, like the wildings), and the only non-Reed crannogman we've met is Bowen Marsh, the dude always described as a red pomegranate, and not just for his red face.
Timeline
I think Howland Reed left Greywater Watch for King's Landing at the same time he sent Jojen and Meera to Bran and Rickon. He got to King's Landing, where he stayed for a while, perhaps creating a subtle, but potentially recognizable (to a Northerner) hedge knight identity. He was almost certainly trying to get access to Sansa, but she's a 'guest' in the Red Keep. After Sansa's disappearance, Howland is finally able to access the Red Keep with the flood of other people to watch Tyrion's trial by combat. Once in the Red Keep, he can get to the godwood's heart tree to "talk to the tree" and see that Sansa meet with Dontos Hollard. He would also see Ned's conversation with Cersei. Here is Meera's story about her father for proof this is possible:
"...he could breathe mud and run on leaves, and change earth to water and water to earth with no more than a whispered word. He could talk to trees and weave words and make castles appear and disappear." (Bran II ASOS)
So Howland 'talks to the tree', and hears or sees those conversations had in front of the heart tree. He recognizes, or is able to puzzle the identity of Dontos Hollard, and the former location of house Hollard, outside Duskendale. Lo and behold, there's Shadrich, on the road to Duskendale. Shadrich/Howland warns Brienne about the danger of people like Ser Creighton Longbough and Ser Illifer the Penniless (who rip apart a silver trout(!) for dinner) and are lying about their pasts. Unfortunately for Howland, the Duskendale/Hollard idea is a dead end, but the most likely place to discover additional knowledge, the Isle of Faces, is nearby for the first time since Howland came back from Robert's Rebellion. Howland has been there before, and he has time to go back again before reappearing in the Vale. This could be where Shadrich/Howland Reed discovers the location of Sansa Stark.
Maybe at the Isle of Faces he can look through the weirwood moon door and see Littlefinger and Alayne during the Lysa moondoor scene? There would probably be something useful he learns at the IOF. Edric could give a basic description of Sansa to Howland, he recognizes her from his tree-TV, they both know of Littlefinger's creepiness, and the trio might feel thats a pretty good lead to track down.
How does the team come together
Howland is brave enough and daring enough (he went to the IOF before) to attempt this rescue mission on his own, and we do see him basically on his own along the road to Duskendale. But by the time we see him as Shadrich in Sansa's company, he's had to hear about the fall of Winterfell, the deaths(?) of Bran and Rickon, the disappearance of his children, the Red Wedding, and don't forget the death of his liege lord, war friend, and fellow secret keeper. What else could encourage Howland to get find allies? Probably losing the trail, and the best place to pick it back up with be the Isle of Faces.
The last time Howland visited the Isle of Faces, he rowed his boat back to intersect with the Stark's at the tourney of Harrenhal. This happened right after he left the Isle of Faces and he stumbled into a band of allies and the most important political event of the last 100 years. Suppose something similar happens again? GRRM loves parallel stories from different points in hostory. Edric Dayne, Lord of Starfall, and Pello of Tyrosh are camping on the banks of the God's Eye and looking for a Stark girl. Howland Reed paddles up from the Isle of Faces, and just so happens to know where a Stark girl is, needs allies if he wants to best Littlefinger, and he might know something secret about House Dayne from his interactions with Arthur Dayne and Ashara Dayne at the Tower of Joy and Starfall. Personally I think Howland married Ashara, but thats for another post, though that fact could have significance if/when Howland convinces Edric and Pello to join him.
So Howland Reed, Edric Dayne, and Pello of Tyrosh meet on the shores of the God's Eye, head to a port with fake identities (odd throuple), hop a boat to Gulltown, and get themselves hired by Littlefinger and transported to Sansa Stark. Why do I think Howland Reed isn't at Greywater Watch?
Howland, not home
Why do I think Howland Reed has left the neck? Well when Jojen and Meera are talking to Bran in the godswood at Winterfell and trying to get Bran to talk about his dreams, there is a curious line from Jojen:
'"You are the winged wolf, Bran," said Jojen. "I wasn't sure when we first came, but now I am. The crow sent us here to break your chains."' (Bran IV ACOK)
and then this one from Meera:
'Meera Reed hung the net from her belt. "When Jojen told our lord father what he'd dreamed, he sent us to Winterfell."' (Bran IV ACOK)
While Meera and Jojen were sent by Howland to Winterfell to find and help the winged wolf, they didn't know who the wolf was. This is important because the options at Winterfell are only Bran and Rickon, but there is another potential winged wolf in chains, Sansa, and she's in Kings' Landing. Arya is missing, Robb has an army around him, and Jon is beyond the Wall. Howland would probably prefer to send his kids to the supposedly safer location, Winterfell, and go try to find and help Sansa himself. If Jojen didn't know who the winged wolf was, how did he know where the winged wolf was? Howland is the one who sends them to Winterfell, is Howland getting greendreams too? No, Meera pointedly says he doesn't have that power. So Howland is probably making an educated guess where the winged wolf could be, based on the Stark sigil and the location of the Stark kids.
It's is important to note that Howland sends his kids away for an unknowable amount of time, where they could potentially journey beyond the Wall and be exposed to a ton of danger. He's not just twiddling his thumbs in the Neck waiting for Meera and Jojen to solve the mystery of the chained, winged wolf, or for someone to come to him and ask for all his secrets. Howland Reed is doing the logical, brave, and helpful thing and is going to help Sansa, who is obviously in danger, after his son has a greendream of a chained wolf.
There is another clue indicating Howland isn't in Greywater Watch. Again, in that scene where Jojen is asking Bran about his dreams in the godswood, Bran tries to change the subject by asking Meera about lizard-lions. Here's the exchange between Bran, Meera, and Jojen:
"Bran made a nervous smile. "I'm tired of talking about crows. Let's talk about wolves. Or lizard-lions. Have you ever hunted one, Meera? We don't have them here."
Meera plucked her frog spear out of the bushes. "They live in the water. In slow streams and deep swamps
Her brother interrupted. "Did you dream of a lizard-lion?"
"No," said Bran. "I told you..." (Bran IV ACOK)
This is the only time in the entire story that Jojen interrupts Meera (and I'm pretty sure the only time he ever interrupts anyone), so why does he do this? Why does he need to know if Bran dreamed of a lizard-lion? Well Bran's dreams clearly have meaning, and Jojen seems worried that Bran saw a lizard-lion in his dream, could Jojen be worried Bran had a greendream about a lizard-lion? Jojen and Meera are currently safe at Winterfell and Jojen is never worried about his own mortality, so it only makes sense he would be worried about another Reed, his father or mother. I don't think he would be worried if they were safe in the Neck, so maybe one of them has left the Neck and Jojen is worried for their safety. Jojen calms right back down when Bran says he hasn't dreamed of a lizard-lion so the whole interaction seems inconsequential, but I think it was a hint HR has left the Neck. It's likely Howland is the one who left, as he's been known to do that before and it makes sense for him to be gone looking for Sansa if he sent his kids north.
I also want to note that Meera says lizard-lions (Reeds) live in 'streams' and 'swamps' which are blue and brown, the same colors forming the background of Ser Shadrich's shield. I always wondered why there was brown not green representing the lands Shadrich says he's crossed. I think his sigil is supposed to catch Sansa's attention and make her think 'old gods/the Neck' but that hasn't happened yet. Meera also says she learned her fishing from her father, and she multiple times catches silver trout, the Tully sigil (Bran ASOS). Could her father be hunting down the most Tully-like Stark, Sansa?
But what do you guys think? Are Byron the Beautiful and Morgarth the Merry really Edric Dayne and Pello of Tyrosh? Is Ser Shadrich of the Shady Glen actually Howland Reed? I want to hear your questions and debate this! Thanks for reading
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2020.09.18 03:24 NamNguyen56 The last game of President Trump: Breaking the coup attempt of the Democratic Party and the enemy of the country

The last game of President Trump: Breaking the coup attempt of the Democratic Party and the enemy of the country

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The last game of President Trump: Breaking the coup attempt of the Democratic Party and the enemy of the country
The closer you get to the election day (November 3), you can feel the heat from all sides surrounded the ballot box, from the Democratic Party's push to vote by mail to the application of the military to the election. or not? It can be said that President Trump is facing a lot of pitfalls of the righteous "enemy" in the heart of the country.
But as a "warrior" of difficult space, it can be said that the current decisions and statements of President Trump have pushed "the opponent" into the situation ... do not know where to go. 2020: The Democratic Party's "n" coup attempt
In February 2020, after many failed "coups" since Trump entered the White House (January 2017), Democrats and other underground State forces plotted to "oust" President Trump. out of the White House with a "farce" or "farce", and it ultimately failed miserably.
When the "tricks" are applied based on both "subjective and objective" factors such as the Wuhan virus, shutting down the economy, destroying riot, abolishing the police ... counterproductive, more precise. is a huge failure again, now the Democratic "rulers" are openly talking about staging a "coup".
Starting with statements from the US Department of Defense to quietly guide public opinion that the military will not obey the orders of the President. All of the above statements are from former generals - most of them are those who served under former President Barack Obama, and helped "spread" by Big Media to the American public. In July 2018, CNN once "revealed" that a series of generals in the Trump administration were disobeying his requests. And CNN, New York Times ... try to "illustrate" so that the American people believe that the President of the United States cannot afford to become the most powerful man in the world. (first)
CNN opened up, Defense Secretary James Mattis - then among those "disobedient" top officials - is said to have made disparaging comments on President Trump on matters related to Syria and North Korea, with the comments "Mr. Trump understands these issues at the level of an elementary school student".
US Joint Chiefs of Staff Vice Chairman John Hyten, who is responsible for America's top nuclear command, said he opposes President Trump's order on a nuclear strike if that is " illegal". As for CNBC, incumbent Defense Secretary Mark Esper opposes the introduction of the Resurrection Act - allowing President Trump to deploy US troops in active service - in response to civil unrest caused by Antifa, Black Lives Matter caused in major cities across the US in May 2020. (2) As the riots intensified by domestic terrorist groups, with the "help" of the Democratic governors run earlier in June, Defense Secretary Mark Esper declared publicly announced in the media that the President should not invoke the Resurrection Act.
The left-wing media massively released this information, simultaneously interpreting and dissecting the Secretary of Defense's message: “Mr. President, don't tell us to do it, because we won't, And he knows what will happen after that.
All these "tricks" of the left-wing media have "breathed relay" for candidate Joe Biden to confidently assert to Fox News that the military will "escort [Trump] from the White House with an official dispatch." great ”if the president refuses to leave office. And yet, former Vice President Al Gore (under the Bill Clinton administration) also publicly agreed with this view of Joe Biden. (3)
You may think that this is just a "joking" comment of a "patient" with dementia, and of a "hideout" who always offers "renaissance" campaign policies to America. from inside the basement of the house he is in.
But Democrats are not accidentally "innocent" as you think. They have a methodical strategy to "brainwash" the American people step by step before "coup", even for Mr. Joe Biden "doze" to say innocuous statements as above. Democrats are not accidentally "innocent" as you think. They have a methodical strategy to "brainwash" the American people step by step before "coup". (Getty)
It is no coincidence that the Washington Post recently (September 3) published an article titled: "What's the worst that could happen ..." The article publicly outlined a scenario, in which "Trump won," the Democrats desperate and vice versa. (4)
They purposely leaked a summer story about a meeting of about 100 Democrats who were former "anti-Trump" Republicans and other underground powers. (following the devilish trend of billionaire George Soros) together "play the lottery" - outlined different options and results in the 2020 election.
The end result is an absolute victory of the current President Trump. However, Bill Clinton's former White House Chief of Staff John Podesta (who plays Joe Biden) refused to give in, pressuring states that Trump had won the Democratic nomination for the main vote. formula of the Electoral College, and is confident that the military will take care of the rest. (5) This
deliberately "leaked" report shows that, if there is "dispute" from the post-election tally, then "technocratic solutions, courts and dependence on elites comply by standards is not the answer ”. Which it promises, what will happen after the November elections will be "a street fight, not a war of riot.
The underground powers and Democrats have outlined a bold plan to topple President Trump if he is re-elected. (Getty)
That means Big Media has "confirmed" to the American public that the possibility of post-election rioting (if President Trump is re-elected) will occur. Add two other baselines that can't be ignored.
The first data is that on August 11, Representatives Elissa Slotkin (Michigan) and Mikie Sherrill (New Jersey) wrote an open letter to General Mark Milley, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. In the letter, two Democrats urged General Mark Milley to deploy the 82nd Airborne Division to "escort" President Trump out of the Oval Office at 12:01 p.m. on January 20, 2021 for Joe Biden to "continue. The White House. (6)
The letter is the most obvious answer to the Democratic conspiracy right after candidate Joe Biden offered his "idea": If President Trump loses in the 2020 election (and if he refuses to give in ), then the Democrats may have to "ask" the military to escort him out of the White House.
The second data is that just about a month later, Hillary Clinton publicly declared that Joe Biden should not give in to the election "under any circumstances". (7) This does not sound like the "rhetoric" of a great politician, of a major political party.
All the above facts show that the Democrats are once again planning to "coup" President Donald Trump even if he wins over Joe Biden in the 2020 election.
Why Big Media and the Citizen Party Owner openly conspired "coup"?
The answer is simple, because the Deep State forces know that, for this coup "conspiracy" to succeed, it must not seem like a conspiracy. And at all times, wherever they are, they need to instill in the minds of the American people and the world public that, illegally removing President Trump from his term is partly due to the "fault" of yourself: Fascist dictator, entrenched power etc and so forth
They "brainwash" the American people not to mind Joe Biden's "extravagant" statement, that President Trump will refuse to leave the White House when he believed he had won legally. But what they want to emphasize through the "firm" statement of Hillary Clinton that: Joe Biden should not lose under any circumstances.
The focus of the Democratic Party's coup "conspiracy" is by all means to exaggerate the risk of pandemic Wuhan virus, with the help of CDC, Big Tech, Big Media, Big Pharma to stop the people. The United States voted directly, which in turn led to voting by mail. This is a form to create conditions for Democrats to cheat votes and "buy time" to count votes.
The Deep State powers know that in order for this coup "plot" to succeed, it must not act like a conspiracy.
In early September, the Hawkfish analysis firm (backed Joe Biden) announced that there was a chance that President Trump would win a landslide match on election night (November 3), but could lose. after the Democrats tally their mail ballots.
Hawkfish's director, Josh Mendelsohn, said a possible scenario when President Trump holds a 408-130 electoral ballot on election night, but has only 15% of the vote. by mail is checked. But after all the votes were counted, the company predicted Joe Biden "eventually won a big, 334-204 win."
Mr. Mendelsohn said: “When every legitimate vote is checked and we reach the last day, which is the day after Election Day, reality shows what happened on the exact election night. as such. Looks like Donald Trump took the lead, and he basically won't win when every vote counts. "
Meanwhile, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg also said that Americans have to get used to thinking that the election results may take "weeks" to be confirmed after the vote (November 3), and "status "Civil unrest is possible."
Twitter announced that they will delete any tweet declaring victory before the election results are confirmed. Meaning Twitter indirectly confirmed, the platform would prevent President Trump's supporters from challenging the legitimacy of any delay in announcing winners.
The worst case scenario will result in some states having ambiguous votes. Then a fierce dispute will happen to the point where no one can accurately declare the winner. Of course, then a whole system of Underground State behind "back", will help Democrats declare Joe Biden final victory.
America "runs out" if Joe Biden and Democrats win.
As President Trump once warned, if Joe Biden wins, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) will take over America. At the same time, many observers also found that America, under the leadership of Joe Biden, would follow a socialist model.
This should come as no surprise, given that Joe Biden has a close "history", with the CCP leaders, openly downplaying the threat from China as well as his "demographic" campaigning policies. always attaching special importance to high taxes, supporting abortion, similar to the socialist democratic model.
The dangerous thing is, if Joe Biden and the Democrats somehow "take over" the White House in this 2020 election, they will change the US Constitution and the Bill of Rights, by canceling the Second Amendment. 2 (allowing Americans the right to own guns), opening up the border so that millions of illegal immigrants enter the United States, causing job "bleeding" and chaos.
At the same time, Democrats will keep all political dissidents - true Americans - silent. Under the mighty power of the Underground State, opposition Americans, patriotic Americans, and traditional rightists will be tightly censored.
Believers, Christians will be intimidated, beaten, and even executed by domestic terrorist groups such as Antifa, Black Lives Matter, and even executed, whose law (of the Democratic Party) will protect them in a favorable way. ethnic minorities. All Christian speeches will be "criminalized", and the Bible will be outlawed.
America is embraced by Marxist left-wing ideology. The riots over the past three months in the United States have demonstrated an ever darker outlook after the election, and show that the extreme left is a frantic, authoritarian, anti-American "sect."
The radical left "nurtured" and activated by the mainstream media, launched a violent communist revolution against America's values ​​of freedom and democracy.
Big Media, Big Tech has demonstrated dangerous lawlessness by censoring all speeches online, protesting the radical liberal's psychotic delusions. The ultimate purpose of this underworld is: Full power to rule, eliminate police and censor people with opposing views.
In the future, America is no longer a shore of Freedom, but becomes a country like the country the CCP is running: Disrespecting the law and upholding the "law of the forest". Every American election from now on will be easily manipulated, stolen, cheated, or altered with violence by leftists who hate America, and despise all Americans who love. True water.
President Trump - lonely warrior: "Quick quenching" violence
Of course, all the above actions are prevented by President Donald Trump.
The Politico newspaper reported that on September 10, President Trump threatened to "quell ... very quickly" the riots on election night (November 3), if the Democrats were dissatisfied. Street after his victory. (8)
The remarks were made in an interview with Fox News host Jeanine Pirro, in which President Trump was asked how he would react to riots if he was declared the winner. on November 3. (9)
We will take them down very quickly if they do. We have the right to do that. We have the power to do it, if we want to… "(Getty)
"We will take them down very quickly if they do," replied the President. We have the right to do that. We have the power to do it, if we want to ... Look, it's called rebellion. We just send, and we do it, very easily. I mean, it's very easy. I don't want to do it because there is no reason, but if we have to do so, we will do it and solve the problem within minutes ”.
President Trump appears to be referring to the National Emergency Act - a law dating back to 1807 - that allows the President to deploy troops in the country for enforcement in certain emergencies. In other words, President Trump is declaring that he will deploy his army to end the rebellions.
There have been many analyzes and comments after this statement of President Trump. One of them is that President Trump will introduce the Resurrection Act shortly after the election. This allows the President to invoke the executive powers of the Fourteenth Amendment, in which paragraph 3 states:
“Anyone who is a member of Congress, or an official of the United States, or a member of a state legislature, or an administrative or judicial official of any state has made a declaration. o swear to support the Constitution of the United States but participate in revolts or rebellions against the Constitution or assist or lie in enemies, cannot be a senator or a deputy in Congress, or a representative voters to elect the President and Vice President, or in charge of any civil or military agency of the United States or of a certain state. But Congress can with 2/3 votes of two-thirds of the members of each House to reject the above prohibition. (From vi.wikisource) (10)
The Fourteenth Amendment was approved in 1868, shortly after the Civil War. President Trump could use this Amendment to order the arrest of a series of traitors, while stripping Electoral College votes from states participating in an overt revolt against the United Nations. USA.
That means President Trump has the power to remove the powers of governors, mayors, judges, lawmakers or military leaders who have granted "aid or commissar" to the anti-insurgent / rebellion. back to the United States.
That also means Democrats Gavin Newsom (California), Kate Brown (Oregon), Jay Inslee (Washington) and Andrew Cuomo (New York), and many left-wing mayors like Ted Wheeler (Portland), Lori Lightfoot (Chicago) and Bill de Blasio of (New York City) will be stripped of power.
President Trump will likely declare first that an illegal nationwide rebellion is in progress, and then deploy troops to quell the riots and restore the rule of law.
Extreme violence, and anarchy in Democratic-run states like this one, and likely to get even more intense shortly after the election, will give President Trump a rationale. it was justifiable for him to declare sending troops to these rebellious states.
u The 14th Judgment will allow President Trump to deprive mayors, governors, and MPs of the Democratic Party if riots do break out. (Getty)
This was not an act of "martial law" because President Trump remained at the helm of the country, and America was not run by a military general. Rather, the military is being deployed as a tool of the President to crack down on illegal rebellions.
Radical leftists are frantically burning, destroying, dismantling everything of America, from business to historic sites, harassing electoral sites, and deconstructing the foundation. the republic to replace the totalitarian socialist regime - will be abolished.
Of course, once the riots were abolished, this military deployment would cease, and the United States returned to a civil society. However, Underground State forces like Big Media and Big Tech will not sit and sit still once President Trump starts the Resurrection Act.
This "insane" faction will accuse President Trump of being a "military dictator" as they have long been attributed to him.At the same time, the Underground State forces will call on leftists to protest and rise. teach in the way that billionaire George Soros's Open Society Fund typically funds "color revolutions" that overthrow governments around the world.
His Open Society Foundation and other coalition organizations are the sponsors, supporters of the Democratic Party and radical liberal leftists, promoting racial wars, riots. , violence and revolution against America.
George Soros - the man behind many revolutions, riots overthrew the incumbent government worldwide, and profited to get rich through endless wars. (Getty)
George Eliason, investigative reporters of Americans now live in Ukraine, has connected the signs related to administration before Barack Obama with a wicked conspiracy to disturb and disrupt civil society America. This conspiracy is not only aimed at "overthrowing" President Trump from the White House, but also wants to open up a form of government in the line of atheistic communist socialism.
George Eliason released a report alleging that foreign terrorists were brought into the United States by conspiracy by former President Obama and CIA Director John Brennan. This shocking report indicates that the Obama administration "imported" foreign terrorists into the US in preparation for the Antifa / Black Lives Matter uprising, which caused chaos in US cities. (11)
So in recent months, domestic terrorists have been so strong that they shot and killed those who support President Trump, bombed gas bombs and destroyed federal government buildings. and attack the police. This is not difficult to predict that it will inevitably happen - to an even more intense extent - if President Trump is re-elected.
President Trump fully realized that a war against America had begun, and he decided to act decisively to protect America by "manipulating" the enemy when he declared that he would use legal military force and all executive powers of a commander in chief of the United States of America.
President Trump knew what was about to happen, and he molded the enemy by threatening to use the military to completely suppress uprising. (Getty)
President Trump's high-handed move
On August 23, just a day before the Republican National Congress began, President Trump held a major event welcoming the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for allowing emergency use. patient's plasma level COVID-19 was healthy during treatment. A few hours later, it was reported that the Trump administration was considering speeding up the vaccine test to get it and roll it out before the November election.
After voicing out that Democrats could fake votes if they passed the election. Letter, President Trump continued to shock with a statement related to vaccines: "The underground State elements at the FDA are trying to prevent companies from testing vaccines. They are looking to delay vaccines until after election day. 3-11 ", Mr. Trump wrote on Twitter August 22.
According to Bloomberg, the Trump administration is working to dramatically cut the time it takes to develop the coronavirus vaccine, with the goal of giving it enough doses for most Americans by the end of the year. Known as "Warp Speed", the campaign will bring together private pharmaceutical companies, government agencies and the military to try to cut the vaccine development time to eight months. (12)
In a matter of weeks In the past, the Trump administration has actively promoted the supply of vaccines on November 1 across the United States. (13) So why choose November 1 to provide vaccines? The answer is: November 1 is important because it is only two days away from the election (November 3). The Warp Speed ​​campaign on the surface involved vaccines, but in reality President Trump was not really "on the hook" with Big Pharma - home to the notorious vaccine manufacturing corporations. And President Trump has relied on this campaign to preserve national security by sending troops in every major city in the United States in an attempt to restore the rule of law, arrest leftist terrorists and traitors.
On March 27, 2020, President Trump issued an executive order that allowed the Pentagon to mobilize US veterans and members of the reserve force, and the National Guard returned to work. Permanent reinforcement for soldiers participating in the Army's COVID-19 pandemic campaign. (14)
The Individual Ready Reserve includes veterans, and members of the Mobilization Reserve, who are considered out of the military and rarely re-convened. These reserves will be deployed as part of the national defense against the Antifa terrorist groups, the Black Lives Matter. All of this could explain why President Trump pushed for the supply of vaccines on November 1, in which the military was sent to the country to "distribute" the vaccine.
This appears to be an extremely daring plan, "based on" the scheming brains of extremist left-wing Democracy - as a way of distributing troops across the country on election day, to prepare for application of the Resurrection Act immediately following elections.
Simply put, President Trump is a President of Law and Order.
Along with the continuous wave of American Police Associations voicing support for President Donald Trump, it can be said that the Democrats are on the same path. In other words, the Democrats were sticking him on his back, and to put it more literally, they were dancing the "music" exactly as the "talented composer": Donald Trump.
https://preview.redd.it/vusr6abb6tn51.jpg?width=250&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=579242b6ecf341e7b0d070ffe54f5d76b818b482
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2020.09.17 21:46 ThrowRAReddithelpme I [26M] might be stuck in an abusive relationship and I don't know how to get out.

First of all, English is not my first language.

So, this story is very long so get ready for a long read, I will divide it into dates/months.

I will also not put the name of the people involved, random letters will represent the people involved in the story.

F = My girlfriend[26F]

August/2019

In August 2019 I met "F"[26/F] through tinder, the same week we went on a date and it was wonderful, we kept going out for a few weeks, until around September, then she got weird and cold with me, she started to distance herself from me, and so on. But I was there insisting, and then she said to me that her period was pretty late, she did the test and the result was that she was pregnant, we decided not to have the child, I bought the medicine to abort (This medicine is pretty expensive), I spent some money on the medicine and I was always by her side, supporting her, asking if she needed any help with something and etcetera(she was being really rude to me at that time, I understood it was if she was very stressed with the whole situation), there were some complications, I took her to the hospital, I stayed with her at her house and everything, in the end, everything went well.

Octobe2019

In October she asked me to be in a serious relationship, I accepted because I really liked her and we were getting well again, and we had a really good time in the next few months, we had some conflicts and fights, but nothing too serious, But she used to "flirt" with a friend on twitter, even when we were already dating, I explained to her that I wasn't comfortable seeing her doing it, she simply said "It's my way of talking to my friends", but she ended up stop doing it in the end, let's call her Twitter friend "V"

V is a social justice warrior on twitter, I never liked him because everything he posted seemed too forced and unnatural, like he just wanted attention and approval from his leftist friends, F explained to me that she hooked up with V several times in the past, but now he was just a friend.

Decembe2019

In December 2019, we had a very ugly fight, which almost ended our relationship, whenever I fought with "F", I would talk to my female-friends "P" and "M" about the fights, just to have an outside view of the situation and a female view, they helped me during this hard time of the December fights.

January/2020

In January 2020 everything was looking great, I and F stopped fighting and we even decided to wear a "serious relationship ring", it had "01/08/19" carved in it, that's the date we first met each other, she said we should put this date because since the first time she saw me she was in love, and neither I or her were seeing someone else at that time. "F" looked at my cell phone a few weeks later, while I went to the market, there she saw my conversations with "P" and "M", in those conversations I only talked about my fights with "F" and some random stuff, there was nothing wrong on it, I never flirted with them or anything, but "F" simply freaked out and said she wanted to break up because in her view I was talking badly about her, she said that we just wouldn't break up if I blocked my friends, unfortunately, that's what I did, to maintain the relationship.

After that we started to get back to a good relationship again, she had some trouble with her roommate so she asked to live with her, I accepted because I wanted to help her and we were in a good situation at the moment.

May/2020

So in May 2020, we started to live together. At that time the quarantine started here in our country, we got stuck in our apartment for months because of it, in may I was snooping in her cellphone(I know it's wrong, I stopped doing this already), and I saw she talking with her friend "T", T is a friend of V, and in the conversation, they were talking about me, that conversation took place around septembe2019, it was something like this.

T: What about the guy you are seeing? is he nice? (that "guy" is me!)
F: He is so in love with me, I even feel pity.
T: LOL.
T: I thought you were in love with that guy or something.
F: Me too! until I hooked up with V, lmao.

It happened in September when she was all acting weird and ghosting me.

Right away I confronted her, I asked why did she lie to me, since she said that she wasn't seeing someone at that time, her first response was "Why were you snooping on my cellphone?" then she got her cellphone and completely ignored what I just saw and asked, once again I asked her why did she lie to me and that I was very upset about what I just saw, at that moment she froze and looked at me right into my soul with a mad face, she didn't say anything for almost one minute, and then she said something like this "What is wrong? we weren't even in a serious relationship at that time." I asked her to explain the date in our rings then, she sighed and explained that she just went out with him to eat something and to chat, she said that nothing happened. I was not convinced but I let it through since we weren't in a serious relationship indeed, but I was very upset about what I just saw, besides that she was making fun of me with T, for her, I was overreacting, and she tried to make me feel better with sex, but I was too upset to accept it, the following two weeks were the worse, every time I looked at my ring and saw that date I felt sad and terrible, knowing she might have been with someone else while I was suffering and wondering why she was so weird with me and ghosting me.

Two weeks later, we were having a random talk and she accidentally mentioned V, she even noticed that she shouldn't have done that, I got upset right away and started to think bad things like "What if she is lying to me and got pregnant from V instead of me?" and stuffs like that, I decided that I wanted to be alone, I went to the living room and sat by myself on the couch and started to drink some beers while on twitter, it was almost midnight and she was asking me to go to bed, I said that I wanted to be alone, she went to the living room and started arguing with me, asking whats is wrong with me, why I was acting like that and not in bed with her, I explained to her that I was still very upset and whenever I looked to the dates of our rings I started to get sad, then she begged me to go to our bedroom to talk, at that time I was already kinda drunk, there she said I was being stupid acting like that, that she did nothing wrong, then I said something like "I don't know, I'll never know the truth, what if V got you pregnant instead of me? This thoughts will haunt me forever now!". Right after I said it, she threw her ring on me and started punching me, saying that I was calling her a whore, she kicked me out of the bed and started throwing all my clothes at me, I said something like "There is a reason why you were expelled from your parent's house three times, now I'm seeing why they did this." She started punching me again and screaming that she hated me.

It was a complete clusterfuck, we talked a lot, she said that she would block V and never talk to him again, just to make me feel better, I said that I think it is a wrong attitude, blocking people like that because of a relationship, that it's toxic in my opinion, but she did it anyway, after couple weeks we were back to "normal". (I never asked her to block anyone, I think it's stupid and toxic.)

But due to fights, she already blocked 6 girls on my cellphone, 3 were female friends that I never flirted, 2 were exes(that I haven't talked in ages), and 1 is my brother's wife, that F doesn't like. (Yeah, she might be abusive)

June/2020

Anyway, now we are in June/2020, COVID is not that bad anymore and people are starting to go out with friends, obviously with a limited number of people. My friend "U" and "R" asked me to go to their apartment to have some drinks and to talk random stuff, They asked me to go out with then on Saturday, on Wednesday I said to F "hey, o Saturday I'll go to R's apartment just to drink some beers and to talk random stuff" Right away she said that she didn't like this idea, I said "well, it's has been a long time since I went out with the boys, I'll just drink some beer and talk" she said, "ok, whatever". On Saturday, when my friend arrived at my apartment to give me a ride to R's apartment, I said to F that I was leaving, she immediately got mad saying "Are you really going out with then? even when I said I didn't like this idea?", I said "well, yeah, I'll just drink a little and chat, U is already waiting for me on his car." And then she said still with a mad face "Well, come back at midnight", the thing is it was already 10 PM, both my friends work until late, I said that I didn't know if I was going to come back at midnight, that I was looking forward to talking until late with my friends, around 2 AM, then she started threatening me saying "If you don't come home before midnight, you will sleep in the living room, if you take even longer, I will throw away all your stuff through the window" I was in shock with her atitude, I said that she was being toxic as fuck, she then proceeds to push me away and take the fan out of the living room saying "You are going to sleep in the living room without the fan, just you and the heat". I said, "Well, I'm leaving, stopping acting like this and go to bed."

Well, I went out with my friends and it was fucking awful, she started sending lots of texts saying that I should go home otherwise she would throw my stuff out, she started calling me and when I accepted the call she started screaming at me through the cellphone, demanding to come back home because she wasn't sure if I was with my friends and not with some prostitute, my friends listened to her screaming and they both were in shock, she then started demanding pictures of me and of the place, and to send her my exact location via Whatsapp. When it was around 11:30 PM she started demanding me to go back home, and that she started throwing my stuff in the living room, my friends understood what I was going through and gave me a ride back home. Arriving in my apartment, she locked the door saying I was going to sleep in the living room, even thou I came back before midnight, I opened our bedroom door with my key, right after I opened the door she kicked it and it broke my key, we started arguing with each other pretty badly, we talked a lot, I said if it is going to be like this I wanted to break up, in the end, she just asked me to come back home early whenever I go out.

Couple days later we were again back to "normal", once again my friends called me to hang out, because the last time we almost hadn't the chance to talk, so again I went to this friend's apartment just to drink some beer and chat, F was in her parent's house, but again she was sending me tons of text and calling me saying I should go back home early, it was awful again...

July/2020

Two weeks late, in early July we were back to "normal", F was playing Candy Crush on my cellphone, I decided to sleep, and then in the middle of the night I was woken up with punches from F, she was saying "Do you think I'm stupid??" then she threw the cellphone at me, I was completely confused, then she showed me my conversation with my sister(let's call her A) back in September, the conversation was like:

Me: I don't know why F is weird with me
Me: *Sends PrintScreen from F's twitter flirting with someone else* Maybe I should give up on her and move on.
A: Yeah. you should do that, you deserve someone better than her.

I said that I didn't understand why she was so upset, the conversation was from almost a year ago, and my sister was just giving her opinion about my situation with F, I even got bruises from F's punches. (I got some pics of the bruises), we again argued and talked a lot, she said she was feeling like shit because I talked badly about her to everyone, but I never did this.

In the middle of July, I was by her side watching TV and I noticed that I saw a picture of V while she was on her twitter, I find it weird because she said that she blocked him in all social media, since I found it weird, I decided to snoop on her cellphone in the middle of the night(I know it's wrong, but something seemed weird), while going thought her cellphone I saw that she unblocked him on all social media, I checked her Gmail and saw that they exchanged messages back in December on Twitter, and they were talking about some nasty things, about the sex they used to have, he's saying that she should dump me because he misses having sex with her, lots of shitty things that a douchebag would say. On the next day, we had a fight via messages and I took the chance to ask her "Did you unblock V?" she said that she didn't and sent me a PrintScreen of him blocked, I asked her why she was laying and sent her the pictures I took on her cellphone proving she was lying, she said she would talk to me when she's back home(she was at work), I said that it wouldn't be possible because I would be working(I'm a teacher and I was lecturing via zoom) when she arrives at home. When she arrived, she disconnected our modem and I couldn't do my work, because she wanted to argue, we talked a lot and I asked why did she unblock him, and why she was talking those nasty things with him while being in a relationship with me, her answers were:

"I unblocked him because I was mad at you when you went out with your friends"
"I lied to you because we were already in a fight and I didn't want to make it worse"
"I was talking those nasty things with him because that's how I talk with my male friends."

In the end, it was the same as the old fights, she would say sorry and we would move on...

In late July it was F's brother's birthday, we got pretty close, he's a nice guy. Let's call him J, J invited me to his parent's house to celebrate his birthday, he cooked some hamburger and we drank some beers, I was with F at this day but I spent most time of my day with my Bro-in-Law, we spent the day playing The last of Us 2 and at night we had some beers and hamburgers, we talked a lot, every time he has the opportunity, he says something like "My nephew seems to be pretty happy, he always says good things about you and he even calls you daddy, that's nice and I respect that". Yeah, F has a 6yo boy who I met in person only in October, I treat him very well and he really likes me, he lives with us and I try not to argue with F in front of him, but F simply doesn't care, sometimes he starts to cry in the middle of the fights and everything gets worse, anyway, J then started talking about his issues with his girlfriend, I took this opportunity to tell him about my issues with his Sister, I told him all the times she got physical on me, pushed me, punched me and etcetera, he said "Damn, she is exactly like our dad, he used to spank our mom and treat her very badly"(their father was very abusive with their mother, they divorced several years ago, they have a nice step-father now) then he suddenly got really mad with F saying bad things like "Goddamit, she is a such terrible person, she always does this, I fucking hate her, she is a fucking bitch" and I got totally in shock and I didn't know what to do, then he said "I'm so sorry for you having to go through all this man, as a friend I would say you to gtfo of this relationship, but as a family, I would like you to stay with her because of my nephew", he said this with his eyes full of tears. then I received a message from F saying "I'm listeing everything", suddenly she appeared out of nowhere demanding me to go to bed with her, I did what she asked, her brother was cursing at her, calling her a bitch, F took the can of beer from my hand and threw in J's face(the can was almost full, he probably didn't feel anything because he was too drunk) then we went to F's bedroom and J followed us, he started banging the door, he broke it with his bare hands, F's son woke up crying, F's parent woke up as well and broke the fight between F and J, I didn't do anything because I was in shock in how they got so physical so fast, I never witnessed violence in my family, in the end, F slept in her mother's bedroom and they talked a lot, the next morning they gave us a ride back to our apartment e her mother asked us to try stop fighting all the time and never argue in front of her grandson again.

Well, the following day everything was weird between me and F, two days later about this whole situation a sent a text to J asking if he was fine, he said he was sorry about everything and kinda sad how it turned out, then I asked if he could borrow me his PS4 so I can play some The Last of Us 2, he said that I could, F saw those messages and got mad with me, she then blocked J, She said that I'm a terrible boyfriend because I didn't defend her, but as I said, I was in shock with the whole situation.

August and Septembe2020

The last 2 months were pretty weird, I'm not happy with this relationship anymore, even thou I love F and her son, and I care about them. But after all this, I've basically dragging my feet when it's about our relationship, she notices this and started trying to be a better girlfriend, she started helping me with the chores, became more romantic, and asking if everything was ok, even thou I showed you guys all these bad situations, there were happy moments in our relationship and I love her, she is caring, romantic and etcetera.

Last week she was playing candy crush on my cellphone, she then took a look on my Instagram and noticed that I liked a picture of a female friend at the beach on her bikini, F said she was not comfortable with me liking these kinds of pictures, I said that it was nothing, it's just a like in a picture of an old female friend that I don't even talk anymore. She started to get mad as always, then she started arguing with me in front of her kid, she said stuff like "You are so horrible with me, my self-esteem is low because of you, you are always talking badly about me to anyone" I was pissed and said "well if I'm a such terrible bf, let's break up", it went downhill from here, I explained to her that I was not happy anymore, that I miss going out with my friends without worrying that someone will get mad at me, she then started crying saying that I miss my single life, that I want to break up with her because I don't love her, because I want to fuck lots of whores out there, then she said that if I'm leaving her, she will give me just 1 day to take everything out of the apartment, otherwise she will throw everything to the street, at this moment I had already packed everything on my backpack to go back to my parent's house, she then took lots of painkillers at once in front of me, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Why do you care? nobody likes me, no one will care if I die right now!" and I didn't know what to do, I was afraid that she would suffer an overdose or something like this, I decided to stay in case she suffered something with the pills. We talked a lot and we decided to try getting better in this relationship until 01/10(our 1st anniversary), but I'm really not sure if this relationship can be saved...

I'm afraid to talk to her about breaking up and she starts to freak out again, or to regret breaking up with her, what if it's all just a bad phase? I honestly don't know...
submitted by ThrowRAReddithelpme to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 20:36 MyFunny098 I Fell In Love With An Abusive Woman

I’m an abuse victim, and I’m not ashamed, or afraid to talk about it. Here’s my story:
Quite a few months ago, I entered into a relationship with – and fell deeply in love with a woman who I thought was my soulmate, the love of my life, and the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with, and the feeling appeared to be mutual (more on that later).
Up until that point, I had NEVER met anyone as intriguing, politically and emotionally aware, sexy, intelligent, supportive, loving, tactile, affectionate, caring, generous, sincere, emotionally available/open/expressive as her, and before meeting her, I thought I knew what ‘true, unconditional love,’ was.
I was wrong about that. I didn’t. But I do now…
The level of love, compatibility, chemistry, deep understanding, comradery, deep connection, conversation, shared vision, and physical/sexual attraction and chemistry we had was far beyond anything I had ever experienced before, and according to her, and based on the way she behaved, it appeared that she felt the same way.
In fact, she was quite verbal about her love for me, as well as showing me by her actions that she felt the same way – from her tactile(ness) to her generosity – to the way she looked at me, spoke to me, and touched me. Her voice. Her gaze. Her touch – it was like being in a hypnotic trance. The only way I can describe it is ‘purely electrifying.’
Maybe the Hollywood films were real after all…
Unfortunately, my ‘soulmate’ had previously been in abusive marriage for 10 years. She converted to Islam at the age of 18, married an Islamic gentleman at 19, had two children quite young, and had moved to Dubai. They met at University, but she quit the course because she fell pregnant and left the country in her 2nd year.
After ten years of abuse from him, she finally hatched an escape plan, fled the country with her lovely two children, converted back to Atheism, and moved back in with her mum for three years. That was 5 years ago.
Since then, she had completed her social work training, became a Senior Social Worker, got her own place, and it was like a palace in there. I was truly gobsmacked, and inspired at what she’d achieved considering the circumstances, and I have never seen a woman mother her children the way she mothered hers. It blew me away.
She has done an incredible job with her children, she really has. I was flabbergasted. Something was evidently different about this woman, and as far as I was concerned, she ticked every box I had, and she threw a few bonus ones in there, too.
It was obvious by how things were going that what we had was something quite special, and that this was going somewhere, which I knew was a big deal for her (and me), because since her divorce 5 years ago, she had NEVER let another man sleep in the same bed as her (understandably based on what she’d been through with her husband), and she had certainly never introduced another man to her children. No chance.
In fact, according to her, up until she’d met me, ‘no man had earned that privilege,’ because ‘no man’ had demonstrated they they truly understood her, respected her, and had the qualities she was looking for in a partner and in a step father.
And then I came along and changed that, which obviously was a bit of an ego boost.
I very quickly built up a close, strong bond with her two beautiful daughters, and I treated them as my own, and bit by bit, I gradually moved in with her, to the point where I would spend weeks and weeks with her and her children, and to be honest – I’ve never experienced happiness and a ‘homely’ feeling like it. It was bliss.
She told me that:
– She has never loved anyone as much she loves me. In fact, according to her, I’m the only man she has ever ‘truly loved.’ She knew I felt the same way about her, too. – ‘No man’ has ever truly understood her and treated her with respect. – ‘No man’ has ever sexually satisfied her to the point I did (which is steep coming from a woman that has had a lot of sexual partners prior to me, only to be ‘disappointed’ by them). Based on the way she was during and after sex, it was evident that she wasn’t lying about that.
Eventually, she asked me if I’d like to move in with her…
The answer was obvious. I couldn’t bare to be without her. And it was clear that neither could she. Every time I tried to leave, she would persuade me to stay longer, and when I eventually did leave, she’d cry in my shoulders, telling me that she felt sick to see me go, and the tension in that car journey home was always a sombre one.
We struggled to be without each other, and when we finally reunited, it was a relief, and the pain went away. It was truly magical, and some of the happiest memories of my life (as sad as this may sound, considering the crazy life I have lived, and all that I have achieved) are the silliest, smallest, and most trivial things.
I miss cooking with her. I miss hanging the washing out with her when the sun was out. That smile she gave me, whilst I was hanging those clothes up. It was like she gazed right through my soul.
Those bright red, purple and pink lips. That cute vintage dress.
I miss the awkward sexual tension we had when we gazed into each other’s eyes over the dinner table, and the constant flirtatiousness that quite literally – never went away.
In fact, I met her online, and after texting for 4 weeks, we finally met up, and I kissed her 3 seconds into our first date, and she grabbed my hand so tight. I knew right then that this was going to be different to my previous relationships.
I miss waking up to her. I miss her silliness. I miss her daughters. I miss the incredible family days-out we had. In fact, I just miss everything about her – or at least, I miss the person I THOUGHT she was.
And then it all went Pete Tong.
The last time I stayed at her house, we had a month together planned. Her ex husband was taking the kids away for two weeks, and we had a holiday planned. We were going to see her Dad and her sister. I was so excited to finally meet them, after getting quite close with her mum.
Tuesday: 3 days in to what was supposed to be an amazing trip, and my last visit before I was due to move to her local area, she abruptly gave me 10 minutes to pack my bags.
I asked her why she wanted to take me home, and she didn’t answer. I packed my bags. We got in the car, and I asked her what was going on, and I got nothing except for a cold, emotionless, bitter-looking face. It was horrid. I’d never seen her like that before. Normally, she was warm and bubbly.
Before I got out of the car, she told me that she wished I’d have been ‘more helpful around the house.’ I had hoovered the whole house that day, blitzed the living room the night before, hung the washing out, cooked, cleaned the shower, and so much more, so it didn’t make sense to me.
The next day, she blocked me on Facebook, without even notifying me. I texted her, and she responded with ‘good luck with everything.’ That was all I got. It was one of the most shocking, traumatic and painful things I have ever dealt with, and that is steep coming from someone who has been homeless 4 times, and has quite literally starved, and had severe, multi-layered, complex PTSD.
I left it a week and I called her. She answered, and she said that she’s ‘really sad that it hasn’t worked out.’ I asked her why she felt that way, and she didn’t give me much of an answer, and she asked me to not contact her again. Maybe I should have listened. But I didn’t. I was confused, hurt, and I wasn’t thinking straight.
I left it a few more weeks, and then I sent an empowering letter saying everything that I wanted to say to her, and I read it to 4 women to make sure that I’d got it right, and all 4 of them cried, so I knew it was perfect. But there was no response. Then I found out that she had blocked me on everything else – Whatsapp, LinkedIn, the lot.
Maybe I should have gotten the hint at that point.
Once again, I didn’t. I was still in pain. I had cried multiple times a day for over a month. It was the most painful thing I’d ever been through. I felt like all I wanted was answers, but because I didn’t have them, I found it hard to move on.
So I called her one last time, and she answered (which I was surprised about, as I thought she would have blocked my phone number at this point). And here’s how that conversation went:
‘Why the fuck are you calling me?’
I said, ‘because I’m confused as to why you behaved the way you did, why you’ve cut me out, and why you’ve given me no answers, and I’m ringing up to ask you some questions to get some well-deserved closure so I can move on with my life.’
‘It’s not my responsibility to give you closure. I can’t believe you’re fucking ringing me again.’
I said, ‘I assume you didn’t get my letter?’
‘Stop sending me fucking letters. I don’t want your fucking letters. I don’t care about them.’
I said, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong. There’s no need to speak to me like that. All I’ve ever done is respect you and your children, and now you feel the need to treat me like an object and speak to me like this?’
‘Don’t ever contact me ever again.’
She then hung up.
Surprisingly, I felt the most enormous relief after that phone call, because up until that point, I had never got an answer as to why she behaved the way she did, but now I did. I had my answer. She is a narcissistic, damaged, abusive sociopath.
It was obvious by her response that she didn’t care about how much she’d hurt me, wasn’t willing to give me what I needed to move on, and had a lack of empathy, and a complete disregard for me and how she’d made me feel. Really, she just answered the phone so she could attack me again.
Prior to that call, I had spent weeks analysing my behaviour and questioning myself, and beating myself up about it, and I’m starting to wonder whether she knew I’d do that, and maybe she got some satisfaction out of it – and that’s why she did it.
Maybe she liked it when I came crawling back for ‘answers,’ because it gave her a little powecontrol trip. Maybe that’s why she deprived me of what she knew I needed.
What I’m coming to realise is that I fell in love with an abusive partner, which is surprising, considering that she’d been in an abusive marriage herself. I thought she’d know better. Obviously not. Does the ‘abused’ become the ‘abuser?’ Maybe so.
And for someone who for the first four years of my life, was brought up by an abusive father, and was exposed to domestic violence, maybe that’s why I was drawn to her. Maybe I seeked out the abuse that my father had laid upon my mother. Does the ‘abused’ attract the ‘abuser?’ Maybe so.
Come to think of it, I now realise that the love she claimed she had for me, and the affection she showed me was really just a facade to suck me in, and to disguise the nasty woman she is deep down, and it took her a while for her true colours to show.
I’m glad that she showed them to me this early on, and not years later, because it could have put me in an even more vulnerable position. So, I got out lucky, really, and I’m grateful for that.
And she lost out on the best partner she’s ever had. She’ll realise that one day. I’m not going to be so arrogant as to suggest that I’m the only ‘special’ man she’ll ever meet, because I’m sure she’ll meet another one again one day. And he’ll go through the same thing, so I fear for his sake, really.
I didn’t do anything wrong, and I didn’t deserve to be treated like that. It’s not my fault. I forgive myself, and I feel quite happy to have deleted everything I have to do with her now, and her number, and I have blocked her, and I certainly won’t take too kindly if she ever contacts me again.
In a world of Harvey Weinstein, Jeffrey Epstein and Trump, let’s not forget that women can be nasty, too. Whilst I’m not suggesting that what I went through is anywhere near as bad as what Weinstein and Epstein put those poor women through – because it’s not, it could have been. And actually, there will be men out there who ARE going through that.
But they won’t speak about it, because they’re ashamed.
And that is why I am writing this post, today. Because I’m not ashamed. I’m an abuse victim from my early years, and more recently, and I’m not ashamed of myself, nor am I ashamed to talk about it, and I hope that other men going through this who are reading this can open up, too. It’ll be OK.
It’s time to move on.
submitted by MyFunny098 to BreakUps [link] [comments]


Causing Pain Real Stories of Dating Abuse and Violence[1 ... Teen Dating Violence [Complete] - YouTube Boys Can Be Victims of Dating Violence, Too Preventing Teen Dating Violence from the Inside Out ... Teen Dating Violence Awareness Video Real Girls, Real Stories: Anya's Story - YouTube Teen dating violence: A survivor shares her story Dating Abuse - Lovestruck - YouTube Real Girls, Real Stories: Sarah's Story

Technology and Teen Dating Violence Are Unfortunately Linked

  1. Causing Pain Real Stories of Dating Abuse and Violence[1 ...
  2. Teen Dating Violence [Complete] - YouTube
  3. Boys Can Be Victims of Dating Violence, Too
  4. Preventing Teen Dating Violence from the Inside Out ...
  5. Teen Dating Violence Awareness Video
  6. Real Girls, Real Stories: Anya's Story - YouTube
  7. Teen dating violence: A survivor shares her story
  8. Dating Abuse - Lovestruck - YouTube
  9. Real Girls, Real Stories: Sarah's Story

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube. This video supplement entitled, 'Real Girls, Real Stories' is intended for use with the Love Is Not Abuse Teen Dating Violence Prevention Curriculum. The four distinct videos feature young women ... Dylan is always checking Ashley's phone, tracking her location, and gets jealous when she talks to other guys. Her friend Zoey sees his behavior as abusive, ... This video supplement entitled, 'Real Girls, Real Stories' is intended for use with the Love Is Not Abuse Teen Dating Violence Prevention Curriculum. The fou... Brittny Henderson, 21, shares her personal story of surviving an abusive dating relationship while in high school with '48 Hours' correspondent Tracy Smith. All the rights to the persons who made this video. Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/ViolencDomestic Video for Propel Braddock Hills High School teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. ... Real Girls, Real Stories: Sarah's Story - Duration: 5:58. Love is Not Abuse 45,414 views. In our top story this week, Tyler reports on the increasing number of teen dating violence cases, especially those where the girlfriend is the abuser. The number is assumed to be underreported ... Briana thought she knew what domestic violence looked like, having seen first hand the devastation it causes, however, when she found herself in a similar si...